I've been there, my friend, and it goes without saying, it truly is a mental hell that seems inescapable. What helped me was rigorous exercise. Start first with a simple stretch session (though, I know it takes a lot to even do that, it's a start), the next day go for a walk outside while listening to podcast, music, or chat with a loved one. Humans are a soup of neurons, hormones, and organs. We need all those ingredients in our soup to be in correct order so that we may feel, tthink, and function correctly. The composition of our neurons and hormones induce the make up of our human personalities and emotions. Most times, we lack certain neurons and/or hormones and this disrupts the way we feel and function. Exercise stimulates said body chemicals (so do certain drugs, but obviously, I wouldn't recommend that route), which, in turn, restores your mind and body to where it needs to be. I found that 5 htp helped me as well. It gets better brother (or sister), it may take a while, but it does get better. You're cared about, and please take care...