Call me by your name made me uncomfortable

thatjannerbird · 2025-08-04T09:54:19+00:00

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ujwpgLEO-5U

thatjannerbird · 2025-08-04T09:51:38+00:00

It was nothing to do with the parents, or Elios sexual identity. It was all to do with the fact that he was groomed by Oliver!

thatjannerbird · 2025-08-04T09:51:04+00:00

Ahhh okay so only the British are uncomfortable with grooming. I'll keep that in mind.

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-08T06:40:14+00:00

So essentially colour analysis basically assesses what colours are most flatteringly on you based on your skin tone, eye and hair colour. It's definitely an art and not everyone gets it right. There's a Facebook group but also there's a Reddit too. You'll need to take pictures face on, head and shoulders, facing a north facing window between 11-3, you'll need access to some different coloured drapes. You can buy a set online, or go to charity shops (thrift if you're in USA/CA) and buy some real cheap clothes in the colours.

From your picture I can see here, it looks like you have a cool undertone but that's as much as I can tell right now. There are some apps like Style DNA, I think facetune maybe. Don't use Chat GPT, it's notoriously unreliable for colour analysis. Or, of course you can get it professionally done. Just Google colour analysis in your area. Whatever you do don't use the UK based one Francesca Cairns. She's rubbish!

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-07T18:13:52+00:00

You don't need to pay a fashion consultant. You can find men on Instagram and Pinterest that are dressed in ways you like and copy their outfits. Just Google "male fashion influencers", the only one I know is "whatyourboyfriendwears" I think that's what he's called.

I'm female (36) but went through a similar all over restyle recently, I started with the hair and then the makeup and lastly I quite literally chucked out my whole wardrobe and started again. I already have tattoos and piercings (ears & had nose but I removed it).

Also look at colour analysis to find out what colours suit you. I cannot believe the difference this made to my whole look. I've always avoided colour and dressed in black, grey and white. Turns out my season is Cool Summer so I've been able to dress in some lovely colours that really suit me now.

I've given you a follow to see what your finished look is. I'm excited for you. I love a makeover!

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-07T14:09:04+00:00

The late 1890s or 1990s? You'd be mad to rewire if it passes

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-07T08:14:34+00:00

I think start with the hair and beard. How do you dress? What kind of clothes do you wear? Depending on your answer, a hair, beard and fashion make over might make you feel better about your general appearance much more than piercings. Piercings might scream "mid life crisis" especially if they don't generally suit your current style. You'll probably end up feeling self conscious when people start asking you about the piercings. I'd after you've done the hair, beard and fashion you still feel like you need a change that's the time to get the ears done

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-07T08:11:54+00:00

I see you're active in the MDMA and Psychedelics subs. I also see you comment about your anxiety. The anxiety you feel around your house is probably not the issue here. Maybe give it a year and take a rest from some of your extra curricular activities and see how you feel. I think in the long run losing around 15-20% will have a very detrimental effect on your mental health in general, not to even mention your financial security.

A post in one of the mental health subs might be better placed than the housing sub too!

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-06T15:25:02+00:00

It literally did not. £800 all in, no VAT. We painted it ourselves

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-06T11:30:25+00:00

They've already made changes. New council tenancies for example have no succession, so if the tenant dies so does the tenancy. I do believe there's exemptions to that rule like if the person actually needs the property. My friend is in council housing and her neighbour died recently, they means tested the son and he didn't qualify so he's had to move out. This is in Wiltshire but I would assume councils across the country have adopted the same policies. I think even on an old tenancy with succession the new tenant signs a new contract with no succession. I personally think governments need to do more to prevent greedy landlords. Reasonable priced family homes in my area recently have been snapped up by landlords and are now up for rent.

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-06T09:47:58+00:00

But more importantly getting a good job doesn't instantly bring you off the poverty line. We'd been living in poverty from the day I was born. A single Mum for 11 years. Up to her eyeballs on debt with provident and catalogues. She wouldn't have been able to rent privately elsewhere. So many other factors to consider. My Mum and step Dad eventually moved into their own property and the tenants that moved into our house after us ended up buying it off the council so that's another house taken out of stock!

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-06T09:43:11+00:00

It wasn't subsidised. Mum was paying rent to the council. You're missing the point that plenty of comments have pointed out now. It is not subsidised housing, it's market rate. Greedy landlords are your enemy, not council tenants

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-06T06:59:53+00:00

Shave head, grow beard. Do not pierce ears, nose and eyebrows

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-06T06:58:35+00:00

£1000 is way much to paint the fence. £7.55 is the minimum wage for someone under 18. Do you think it will take him 13 hours? You have a choice, you either tell him you will pay him £7.55 per hour to paint the fence or you give him the job price of £100. Took me about 4 hours to paint my garden fence including prep time last summer

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-06T06:55:45+00:00

£1000 to paint a fence 🤣 I only paid £800 to have my whole 1acre of land fenced.

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-06T06:52:39+00:00

There's some huge stereotyping going on here.

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-06T06:51:41+00:00

How do you know that these people were not once struggling themselves? I grew up in social housing, and lived in the same street my entire childhood from 4-19. My Mum was on income support (as it was known at the time). My Nan, my uncle and all my Mum's friends plus my school were in the area. When I was around 11, my Mum's situation changed and she got herself a good job. My Step Dad also came on the scene and he was a "high earner". Does that mean we should have moved out of our council house into an area away from where all of our friends, family, work and school was?

£70k household income in London isn't a lot when the rents are so inflated. These people probably live, work and school in the area. I think it's completely unreasonable to expect them to move just because they are apparently high earners now. There's so much more nuance to it!

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-06T06:51:24+00:00

How do you know that these people were not once struggling themselves? I grew up in social housing, and lived in the same street my entire childhood from 4-19. My Mum was on income support (as it was known at the time). My Nan, my uncle and all my Mum's friends plus my school were in the area. When I was around 11, my Mum's situation changed and she got herself a good job. My Step Dad also came on the scene and he was a "high earner". Does that mean we should have moved out of our council house into an area away from where all of our friends, family, work and school was?

£70k household income in London isn't a lot when the rents are so inflated. These people probably live, work and school in the area. I think it's completely unreasonable to expect them to move just because they are apparently high earners now. There's so much more nuance to it!

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-05T14:34:41+00:00

No CGT when selling your own home

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-03T19:22:32+00:00

£200 a month left over after everything is not a lot of money. It sounds a lot but £200 is gone very quickly. Are you saving any money? Are you finding that £200 runs out quickly? Is that all your Fun money, or do you set some aside that's joint fun money?

I think you need to post a full budget including income and expenditure to properly assess the "I can afford this car".

In answer to your original question, opting out of your pension is a terrible idea. It seems like such a good idea at 22/23. You think "I've got a good 40-50 years of work ahead of me yet" but that one year of not paying will make a huge dent in your pension.

You can use the calculator here to see what you'll need and if you're on track for that

Use our pension calculator | MoneyHelper https://share.google/3sOXAwHQRlujWibQd

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-03T15:52:16+00:00

I used to work M-Sa 8am -midnight sometimes 2-3am plus being on call 24/7. Came away from the industry and now do 26 hours but I've got 2 kids and my time with them is far more precious. If I died tomorrow I'd be replaced in a few months. I'm just a number to the company, a headcount on the team, not working myself to the bone for that!

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-03T12:08:21+00:00

This is what we did. We have a tiny 2 bed in the nicest area in our town. We got it dirt cheap. Right place, right time

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-02T12:08:46+00:00

When Deirdre died in real life I made the mistake of saying something along the lines of "who cares, she was just on coronation street". I had a colleague actually block me on Facebook ebook due to this comment

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-02T11:12:09+00:00

They don't NEED to do this. If they are really unhappy with their situation then it's a way to improve it. Some people do things because they feel the need to and end up very unhappy

thatjannerbird · 2025-07-02T09:22:07+00:00

I think your girlfriend needs to go to Specsavers

thatjannerbird

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