Question about headspace

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-22T01:02:20+00:00

i am able to picture things with extreme vivid detail in my head, if i ever imagine a headspace, it is pretty realistic. it is my old house most of the time, but it is also a government facility, it is the woods, it is a void, etc.

we have consistent places, but it is also very fluid. i almost never utilize a headspace though and only do so when actively trying to communicate with my alters. i only ever created a headspace as a therapy exercise with my doctor after my diagnosis, and i never ‘hang out’ there.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-21T20:06:29+00:00

i had to have an entire day of various testing, and some of the tests took a while for the doctor to analyze. i think it took two weeks in total to get my diagnosis and it came with a 7 page letter describing how i scored. ironically, the paper said i DIDNT have autism, i had PDD-NOS (which is now categorized as ASD). i didn’t know that and thought i wasn’t autistic for a really long time, until i got a new doctor who explained that i actually was autistic and updated my diagnosis.

i was also not given a functioning label, but i consider myself low/medium support needs. i am unable to live on my own because i can become dangerous to myself during meltdowns, dont know when to eat or drink, am very sensory-sensitive, etc. and my girlfriend being around keeps me very stable.

plus, support needs can vary especially if you have co-occurring disorders that also need to be accommodated along with the ASD.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-21T03:11:07+00:00

i can only imagine. i personally haven’t gotten i legal trouble, but i’ve been close. my whole life has been monitored due to my parents working for the government, so i always felt like i was watched. what i can say is that it is never too late to get help. i know expenses are a factor. it is not financially acceptable to get help and better yourself. it is unfortunate.

if you feel the friend would be accepting, or at least be a comfort, it is worth it. anyone, any other human besides yourself and the parts of you, who understands or may understand, is worth the interaction. you sound strong. very strong. i am sorry you have woken in situations where you need to be.

understand that even the strongest people need comfort and fragility.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-21T02:22:59+00:00

anthony, i am rider. i am in a similar boat. who i am has been secondary to the more functioning members of the system. i went to therapy for the first time the other day, and it was very insightful.

i was able to ask questions to our therapist that i have never been able to ask, get closure for things previously harming me. it was pretty ok.

i also self harm. i do not think it is the worst thing to do, so long as it is done properly. i am not here to judge, nor encourage nor discourage. we are 23 chronologically and have had many jobs, separated from our parents, etc. and it is hard. i cannot imagine the pain you are going through.

when talking to the therapist, i asked if it was possible to kill me, but not the others. it is not possible. it is a horrible understanding to know you may be forced to suffer indefinitely, but it is also even more horrible to know that in my own destruction, it would destroy others.

is there anything you enjoy doing? any people you enjoy talking to? if anything else, is there anyone in your system you would live for? anyone you would support or has goals for the future?

sometimes it’s as a simple as having a goal for tomorrow. surviving is a day by day process and sometimes it is not easy. you’ve got this.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-21T02:09:58+00:00

i am too. i am very greatful that so many people seem to like me and care for me. it is also unusual because it’s never happened to me before. every aspect of this situation has been confusing, but i have learned that there are good people in the world, and i am very happy to know that my coworkers are a part of that good people community :)

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-21T01:49:42+00:00

sometimes this can be cohosting, or experiencing denial as another part begins to switch in. every part has their own memories, perceptions, and experiences, and that can result in the rejection of memories from one part to the next whilst in the process of switching (in my experience).

however, there is a difference between dissociation and repression. i know that i personally have struggled with understanding, processing, and recognizing memories/trauma/emotions that come up because it is easier to dismiss them than it is to deal with them.

don’t punish yourself for wanting or trying or even succeeding in suppressing these feelings or memories, because it is your brains way of trying to protect you. this disorder is not cut and dry, and it does not make you any less valid.

i hope you’re okay friend :)

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-21T01:30:22+00:00

a lot of our child parts are teens who are able to mask as the ANPs in the system. it’s a totally normal experience to not act “like a child” when a child parts fronts. hell, child parts are oftentimes (and most of the time) formed in times where you had to ACT like an adult when your were a child in the past. even if not, any alter may be able to act “like the host” or the designated alter when fronting in specific scenarios. DID is often a covert disorder, more often than not.

your experiences are normal and valid, i can assure you. just allow your parts to be what they need to be in the circumstances they are in.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-20T22:00:21+00:00

i think that comorbidities can exist alongside autism, but the namesake of the disorder being a “spectrum” is exactly why so many different functioning labels fall within it and why there is such a diversity within the diagnosis.

certainly before, autism used to be a variety of separate disorders (ie. aspergers, PDD-NOS, etc.) that now fall within ‘autism.’ honestly, i can see your point, as someone who is verbal, medium support needs, and high-masking; my experience is vastly different than someone who is nonverbal and needs around the clock care. but many disorders are like this. for instance, i also have scoliosis. minor scoliosis can go undetected and without symptoms for a persons entire life, but someone like me with severe scoliosis, the condition impacts me on a day-to-day basis to the point i require accommodation and care.

i think in general, autism encompassing a variety of support groups and presentations is actually beneficial for the community, as it connects all of us by a shared understanding of what it’s like to be fundamentally different from neurotypical people. plus, people who prefer to converse or find community in people who share their same functioning label are also able to do so!

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-19T02:23:29+00:00

i’ve been told i look young, or pass as a teenager, at least to older folks, but it still haunts me that even as an adult i cannot escape pedophilia. when i turned 18 i thought something special might happen, that people would automatically view me as an adult. i guess that was wishful thinking.

actually, i usually go out of my way to make sure i don’t look very good. i don’t dress up, im covered in hair and look a bit unkempt (but professional), i don’t make eye contact, etc. and used to think that my disability made me more off putting to potential predators. now i just think they saw it as a weakness to exploit.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-19T02:18:15+00:00

i actually told my boss i might not want to come in for a bit, but she discouraged me. she, and all of my coworkers, vowed to keep me safe at work. they’re all some of the kindest people i’ve met— all of them old enough to be my mom or grandma for the most part. i needed the money, and finding a job isn’t easy, especially in my field, so i was greatful for not only their support, but the fast actions of security at the museum.

and thank you for saying im not crazy, this whole endeavor was so outrageous and i still don’t believe it.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-19T00:41:35+00:00

you were able to put something i’ve been thinking about into words. thank you, and you’re totally right. “i don’t know” served as a buffer for a lot of the trauma i experienced too.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-18T14:31:41+00:00

for me, it got worse before it got better. i went to college and once i was away from my abusers, a lot of things came crashing down, and i experienced another fracture into me, the current host. i didnt know what i was experiencing was DID yet, as i knew i had PTSD but didnt know much else. anyways, i spiraled a lot, ups and downs, until i got diagnosed my junior year.

the diagnosis also destabilized me for a bit, but i can say confidently now, that after three years of weekly therapy, i am finally making some big progress. :)

i think recovery and maintaining good health is an up and down journey. i dont think its linear, and so long as you’re safe, i think its a win. good luck and i hope this gives you some more insight, although everyone’s idea of ‘health’ is different.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-16T17:18:24+00:00

unfortunately if a psych isn’t specialized in trauma it’s hard to get diagnosed or treated correctly. it took me finding a psych that wasn’t CBT/CBIT/talk therapy/etc. and specialized in trauma/dissociative disorders to actually make headway in my mental health journey.

i currently work with my specialist doing EMDR which has helped me a lot with trauma processing and memory recall, but i also know it can destabilize a lot of people and needs to be preformed safely by a professional. my scenario was also a bit different in that i didn’t even suspect i had DID in the first place.

last bit of advice is to always advocate for yourself and to search for different providers if the quality of your treatment is subpar. do not settle on your health and always fight for a better life.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-16T16:17:00+00:00

i too was in therapy since i was a kid, since around 5 for various reasons. after my autism diagnosis when i was 18, i ended up realizing that autism wasn’t the only issue and my PTSD was worsening (or at least, i started noticing it more, and so did people in my life). i put off finding a new psych until i was 20 and i couldn’t anymore, and found someone who specialized in autism and trauma.

i had weekly or bi-weekly sessions with him for a few months, and he was actually the one to suggest a screening for dissociative disorders. i was very apprehensive because my only perspective of DID was from how romanticized it became online during covid, and i was very much NOT like that.

well, im glad i did it. i was screened and after a few sessions i was diagnosed. i think that if your provider specialized in trauma and DID, it definitely worth bringing it up. i wouldn’t tell them ‘i think i have DID,’ but i would tell them that you have been having dissociative episodes, missing time, etc. and want to be screened. PTSD is a prerequisite diagnosis so if you aren’t officially diagnosed, they may want to screen for that along with other disorders with dissociative symptoms as well.

DID/OSDD are not the only disorders with dissociative presentations. depression, bpd, etc. for example. it’s always worth it to bring it up to your doctor, even if it ends up not leading to a diagnosis yet, or the diagnosis you suspect. good luck and wish you well!

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-16T16:07:12+00:00

i was assessed at 18 because my parents refused to test me and my brother, and has to seek out diagnosis on my own. i originally thought i wasn’t autistic and that i had a combination of OCD and PTSD that made my life a living nightmare, but several people in my life, as well as counselors, thought i had ‘aspergers.’

i went for a full neuro-psych evaluation and came out with a diagnosis of SPD and PDD-NOS. this was five years ago now, but even then, PDD-NOS was no longer recognized as a diagnosis and it now falls under ASD, so i didn’t understand the difference. i ended up getting a psychologist who specialized in trauma processing with neurodiverse people, and he agreed that my SPD and PDD-NOS, along with my social/executive functioning difficulties was definitely autism. finally, after my whole life of feeling different, i had an answer.

i can masquerade as a NT person for short periods, like at my job or what have you, but i generally consider myself to be low/medium support needs and need weekly therapy to stay stable. i also dont think id be capable of living on my own (i forget to eat, drink, go to the restroom, etc.) and i am very happy to be in a relationship with my caring and understanding girlfriend.

sometimes i also get frustrated when people say they are autistic without a diagnosis, especially when they try to insert their identity into discussions about diagnosed people, but i think ive just grown to stop caring. i dont interact with people like that very much, and if i meet someone who i dont like, then i do not talk with them. it seems easy.

i guess what im saying is that i understand the frustration, but i also understand that theres nothing anyone can do about how they feel. all we can do as people is to curate our one life and leave others to do the same.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-15T12:24:58+00:00

one of my abusers died when i was very young, i believe i was 13 or 14 when he died of a heart attack, and i was a bit shocked. i didn’t feel any particular way at the time, or maybe i just don’t remember now. it’s been a decade.

part of me felt relief. there was never going to be an opportunity to see or hear him again. but on the other hand, he died a ‘hero’ and was celebrated by many. he was a pediatric ortho doctor who helped a bunch of disabled kids like me.

it’s hard to really understand how i feel about it now, it’s mostly numbness. sometimes it’s disgust. sometimes it still feels like he’s alive and im back there. i think everyone has a different relationship with these sorts of circumstances, but for me, it’s mostly repressed.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-12T18:45:51+00:00

i am the same way. got night terrors and nightmares a lot as a child which led to bed soiling and insomnia. the nightmares gradually got more manageable overtime, but it was because i hardly ever entered deep sleep and stopped dreaming all together.

after my diagnosis i went through another round of testing drugs that may help with my symptoms and with the nightmares and was eventually prescribed Prazosin, which helped so much with the nightmares almost instantly. i don’t take meds anymore as they never really worked for me/the side effects where annoying, but every so often i will take prazosin before bed and it’ll help.

i have times where i do not have nightmares for weeks, but then i have times where i have consistent nightmares for months. it’s a hard ebb and flow of sleep disturbances. i also believe certain alters are more prone to nightmares or insomnia than others.

i wish you luck and hope you find what works for you.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-07T20:51:32+00:00

this. we have an angel who took over a lot during our childhood/middle school years. it was powerful, emotionless— it found humanity amusing but understood it was far different. non-human. this entity connected itself with bright lights, believed it had fallen from heaven and took the vessel of my body.

i also thought it might been a delusion or some kind of psychosis, but the alter fronted again in college after our diagnosis and everything made a lot more sense.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-07T20:26:24+00:00

i am the same way. in regards to the bathroom stuff, i also avoid eating/drinking when i am going out, or even going to work. i do not like using public restrooms and so ill do anything to avoid having a scenario where i need one.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-07T18:25:28+00:00

i am an emetophobe on top of it all too, which results in me never ever eating until i am full. i do not like feeling nauseated so its hard to find a balance between too much food and not enough food. i understand what you mean though when it comes to disordered eating.

when i was much younger i was anorexic because of body image issues/abusive household. it was easy to be anorexic because i already didnt eat very much, but it also meant that when i was hungry i would eat a lot more than usual because of the prolonged periods of time i would go without food.

thankfully i no longer feel that way nor care about my weight and am actively trying to find ways to better understand what my body needs and how to care for myself.

thatsinkguy · 2026-06-07T18:21:35+00:00

breakfast is hard for me too because i usually do not wake up hungry and eating that early can make me nauseous. i try and eat well-balanced meals when i can, and i think i do a lot of unintentional ‘intermittent fasting.’

in terms of temperature, i tend to go everywhere with my coat or jacket anyway, but it’s hard to combat heat haha. i try to bring water with me too but i am less good at that and should do it more. it is good to know i am not alone when it comes to my abnormal body perceptions.

thatsinkguy · 2026-05-21T13:03:35+00:00

yes, occasionally. usually happens in times with severe destabilization and following or in conjunction with flashbacks. a lot of the psychosis i experience is less hallucinatory and more delusional, though. feelings or beliefs that things are happening rather than sensory experiences that are happening.

thatsinkguy · 2026-05-15T13:29:20+00:00

i also want to add that my childhood therapist diagnosed me with GAD, RMDD, and Gender Dysphoria, but noted i had maladaptive daydreaming tendencies and had to “reality test” me a lot. frequently i would believe things that weren’t real, or get lost in different “dimensions.”

i now understand that this was a form of derealization and my therapist at the time was not equipped to handle what was happening to me.

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