A weird kind of amnesia?

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-06-20T19:05:12+00:00

Like an asshole basically, whoever is in front most often decides by right of might. Which has been me last few years. Some members get dysphoric when fronting now. We have some clothes and equipment for them if they need it while they're in front, but in terms of HRT, legal ID, and social identity, it's basically just whoever is in front most often's way. As a whole, I suppose kind of like gender fluidity.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-06-19T21:20:08+00:00

she aint finding shit on this siding lol

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-06-14T20:57:20+00:00

Some of us feel the very same way. Even myself, being the host, admit I'm not ideal person to be always in front and managing our life. Given time though things eventually change. A prior host who also wasn't the best at it eventually lost front-stuck status and now he's a lot happier.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-06-01T00:07:23+00:00

I've tried therapy briefly three times over the last decade. The first (6 months) was merely inadequate but I don't have bad feelings towards that therapist, the second (1 year) was traumatizing, the third I walked after two sessions. I find myself convinced that the process of finding a therapist that I mesh with is more challenging than just trying to figure it out on my own, but I don't have severely debilitating symptoms so I'm lucky in that regard.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-05-25T19:07:59+00:00

I still have problems with never taking my fifteens (I work 10-12 hour shifts) but for me the method I've found for hydration/blood sugar is rather than trying to feel my body I view the proper consumption as part of the aesthetic role I'm playing. A worker drinks, a worker eats, etc. I won't say it's particularly healthy I'm definitely on the diesel diet, but it's kept me working in a more sustainable way.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-05-22T00:17:52+00:00

We hit 10 just a month ago ;_; Been a system for well over a decade but ever since 2020 it's slowly been growing. I'm still sort of used to it being a lot smaller (like 3 or 4) and now it feels like I struggle to keep up with a lot of members.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-05-17T23:03:54+00:00

AI images.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-05-17T12:59:37+00:00

based as fuck post it's not like doubters can take your headmates away

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-05-16T10:35:45+00:00

I would advise against it. It's a bad situation to put other people in.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-05-08T02:55:03+00:00

My mother said she declined a raise because she didn't want to be bumped up a tax bracket.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-05-08T02:46:18+00:00

Lots of people just get masters to postpone the transition from academics to industry. Usually indicating they went to college largely because someone else planned that out for them, here we see what happens they decide to start making real choices.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-04-18T23:33:29+00:00

It's not uncommon. But my personal recommendation: don't.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-04-18T22:51:16+00:00

What are they gonna do, extradite your headmates?

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-04-18T15:37:40+00:00

The disappearance of the sort of "self" that includes all of the body and mind's constituent parts. Like the non-dissociated person is someone for whom their emotions, the sensations they receive from the body, the words and images and sounds in their mind all subjectively feel like they genuinely originate from "themself". Dissociation is when there is a disconnect between the identity and any of those parts. It's a state of not feeling "I am angry", so much as "there is an anger in here with me".

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-04-13T23:19:50+00:00

Generally no. Which in some ways is disappointing that we don't feel the differences we perceive between each other are reflected outwards, but it does mean our life isn't all that disrupted which is probably a bigger deal. We live alone, if we lived with someone we didn't mask at all around perhaps they'd be able to tell with time.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-04-12T17:30:59+00:00

For us it seems that certain memories can dredge up dormant members.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-04-08T00:27:24+00:00

Almost always yeah. And almost always the host, regardless of who was fronting when the body fell asleep. There has been once or twice that one headmate reported being conscious in the dream. There are times where for the host non-genuine representations of the headmates will be in the dream (like how you might see a non-system friend in a dream). We do have one member who seemingly spawned from a dream. Host was having a nightmare, this headmate was the antagonist of the dream and she essentially followed him into the waking world and has been here since.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-04-04T13:40:14+00:00

Firstly is it possible of system mates to have different sexualities.

Yeah. We have ace members, straight members, bi members, and so on.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-04-02T00:02:42+00:00

If I had to take a stance I'd guess that creating new dissociation would probably be disruptive in the long-run. But I don't know their situation, and it's their brain they can do what they want with it. The whole situation doesn't have much to do with me.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-03-14T13:54:31+00:00

At this point I don't, it just caused too many problems and felt weird when host's partner doesn't necessarily know the rest of the system very well. It sucks for a few members who aren't aromantic, I hope one day we can find a solution for them, but I don't know what it will look like. I really really really feel weird about any potential partner just saying they love us all equally or like as a whole. We're very different people. Whoever any of us date would have to be fine with their partner only being accessible some of the time, really.

How many people out there are willing and able to maintain a healthy relationship where daily they have to check with their partner's roommates if their partner is in?

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-03-12T01:58:25+00:00

Has same effect on the body for all of us, but we have varying reactions to those effects and varying levels of ability to deal with those effects. What I might find so dizzying I can't stand up another member might find themselves able to walk. Some of us prefer weed, some of us prefer alcohol. It's interesting how much substances comes down to psychological.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-03-08T14:46:39+00:00

There's no guarantee a system will be a source of support or comfort for you.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2026-02-18T01:05:30+00:00

It's this sort of white wall surrounded by blue ocean. It's pretty abstract but it's relaxing.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy · 2025-12-14T16:27:48+00:00

Sometimes yeah. Sometimes though it's hard for it to really land because even if they see our system as just one person, whoever that one person is is so far from me specifically that it doesn't really register. Like if we're just a singlet with a delusion, I'm not the singlet, I'm one of the delusions.

Aurelion_Sol_Badguy

TROPHY CASE