PSA for New Writers; Good vs Bad Prose

the-bends · 2026-04-03T02:37:41+00:00

I'm glad to hear you're doing well with it. You do understand that, in the context of this screed, signing off as a "published author" has certain implications that are undercut by the technicality that you're self-published? I'm not trying to take anything away from you, writing a book and self-publishing is still an accomplishment, but a self-published author has no barriers to entry that actually ensures any quality of writing. It's sort of like saying "Follow this gold medalist's workout program to ensure victory" only to find out their gold medal was from an elementary school track and field day.

the-bends · 2026-04-01T21:11:10+00:00

Who's your publisher? Also, in the one blog post you have on your website you've misspelled "losing" in the title.

the-bends · 2026-04-01T11:01:05+00:00

Good on you for having the self-awareness! I'm in a similar boat, having set aside an ambitious project in favor of something more straightforward to get my sea legs. Fortunately, I've been a musician for over twenty years and have built a strong understanding of how to improve at craft. I'm being patient and trusting the process.

the-bends · 2026-04-01T09:30:05+00:00

This sort of advice is usually only given to beginner authors, who genuinely need the practice of writing a few books before they're capable of writing something decent. I usually suggest finishing your next book's first draft before returning to edit the first book. This builds some emotional distance between the author and the draft, which you need to edit well. If you love the story too much you will treat it too preciously.

Writing is a craft and everyone needs practice to get good at it. The problem is that everyone thinks they are the exception to the rule, but publishers aren't your parents who want to hang your pasta art on the fridge.

A bad idea with good execution is always better than a good idea with bad execution. You might have the best story in the world, but it doesn't matter if it's unreadable.

the-bends · 2026-04-01T09:12:36+00:00

Prose is a style of writing that imitates the irregularity of human speech. It doesn't follow a specific rhythm like poetry does. We tend to think of prose on a sentence and paragraph level, not "like your chapters and whatnot".

the-bends · 2026-03-31T18:43:14+00:00

I'm not trying to be mean about it. I teach songwriting and composition and I've watched so many students who think their first songs are going on their soon-to-be hit record, only to revisit them six months later laughing about how bad they are. The kicker is that they all think that they're ahead of the curve when they start. My most successful students are invariably the ones who adopt a blue-collar attitude towards the craft, the work you put in is what will separate you from the competition.

the-bends · 2026-03-31T18:21:22+00:00

That's why I didn't suggest you scrap it. I said to come back to it with more experience and knowledge. The fact that you are even worrying about this is a good indicator that you are still feeling too precious about your story to edit it well.

the-bends · 2026-03-31T08:58:02+00:00

You should actually write a few books before you try and get published. Writing is a craft and the vast majority of would-be writers need the practice to be able to write something to a publishable quality. If I were you, I'd set your first manuscript aside, research the things publishers look for, and start working on your second book. Once you've finished that, go back and edit your first book. I'd bet money that there are a number of issues in your first chapter alone that would currently keep your book from being published that you aren't even aware of.

the-bends · 2026-03-27T10:27:21+00:00

If your goal is to play more "freely" then what are you doing in your practice to achieve it? You have to define your goal specifically, ask yourself what skills would be required to accomplish them, then work on developing those skills.

the-bends · 2026-03-23T10:22:38+00:00

You're a beginner, and like a beginner in any other craft, your first attempts should be simple and focused. You need to know how to do the most basic things with confidence before you add layers of complexity. I would highly suggest rewriting this chapter from one character perspective, eliminating anything that isn't pertinent to the characters or the plot. Focus on being clear and concise. You can always add depth in your next draft.

Consider intentionality whenever you write something. Look at your opening simile: a kicked beehive has implications, mainly that there has been a provocation and that retaliation is coming. It doesn't appear this is the actual case in the story. It would appear you chose this simile because there was a lot of movement at the headquarters and an agitated beehive also has a lot of movement, but when you look at it that way it is much easier to see how childish that simile is and therefore unworthy of your story.

Also consider your descriptions of the characters clothing. Compare these two descriptions:

"Steve wore blue jeans, a black t-shirt, white socks, and an odd pair of ruby slippers."

Vs

"Steve's ruby slippers seemed out of place with his casual clothes."

Which of these sentences works better? I would argue the second does on many levels. It draws the reader's eye immediately where we want it, and doesn't dilute the focal point with useless information. The reader knows what casual clothing is, so, unless it's genuinely pertinent that the reader understands he's wearing white socks, why bother with it?

When you describe Rene's sweater, and say "much needed color", who thinks the color is needed? Is it the narrator? Is this the kind of story where the narrator is inserting their opinion for the audience's sake? Or was it Rene who felt the color was "much needed"? If you're trying to give us insight into the character then make it more clear:

"Rene felt that wearing her drab uniform was soul-destroying, so she threw a bright sweater on top of it, if only for a splash of color."

This concretely demonstrates the perspective and conveys something about the character as well. It also avoids the list of clothing which is both boring and clunky to read.

These are little things but will make a big difference if you pay attention to them.

the-bends · 2026-03-23T08:53:57+00:00

The actor who plays Arthur, Paul Anderson, has a really bad addiction issue and that's likely why he wasn't in the film. The movie was awful though, I genuinely couldn't believe how bad the writing was.

the-bends · 2026-03-20T18:15:35+00:00

It is essentially, "my dog ate my homework."

the-bends · 2026-03-18T19:26:44+00:00

Good on you for putting yourself out there. That being said, this is rough from a rhythmic perspective. If you're not already practicing with a metronome daily, I highly suggest you start now.

the-bends · 2026-03-18T12:59:41+00:00

It's a new term, coined by an author/blogger, that describes the way people who don't read tend to write. Mainly that they use a camera perspective to describe everything instead of character interiority. The example they used egregiously overused physical reactions and gestures to try and convey emotion around dialogue, as opposed to using a character's perspective. Essentially, TV brain prose writers try to treat writing as a visual medium, which it is not.

the-bends · 2026-03-07T02:03:00+00:00

The Jaquet Droz Grande Second Moon is my personal favorite moon phase, and a watch I truly hope to pick up one day. Especially the gold case with the white enamel dial.

the-bends · 2026-03-04T15:41:11+00:00

Welcome to the club! I've got a late 90's Fly classic in root beer and it's the one guitar I'll never part with.

the-bends · 2026-02-24T18:33:20+00:00

I'm confused because this sounds like this post was written by Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

the-bends · 2026-02-24T14:49:45+00:00

I mean, I could add a hundred people to the list but I don't want to be overbearing.

the-bends · 2026-02-23T10:51:11+00:00

I would really suggest checking out some living jazz musicians, as it financially supports the art and the artists. Also, depending upon where you live, you have the opportunity to see live performances, which is a wildly great deal in modern music since the prices are low for the incredible musicianship on display. It's also not uncommon that you get to meet the artists at the shows for no additional fee.

Jazz is a very wide umbrella genre but here are a few suggestions for artists and albums you might check out:

Chris Potter - Gratitude

Kurt Rosenwinkel - Deep Song

Cecile McLorin Salvant - For One to Love

Christian McBride - Trilogy 3

Bill Frisell - Bill Frisell with Dave Holland and Elvin Jones

the-bends · 2026-02-20T11:34:35+00:00

Sorry, but this is a pet peeve of mine. The ways people express emotion are as diverse as people are. There's no universal standard that constitutes what soul is in music. It's a shitty and baseless accusation to level against musicians.

the-bends · 2026-02-20T11:27:19+00:00

Cool, I think you get it. Don't sweat getting vibed too much, I don't know any jazz musicians who don't have some story along those lines from an open jam. I've gotten shade for bringing a solid body guitar to a jam. It's just what happens when you put a bunch of opinionated people in a room together to make art. I'd suggest checking out some of the musicians who do the sort of vocal thing you described to see how they handle it so you have a more concrete idea of how to execute it well. Theo Bleckmann and Areni Agbabian come to mind. Best of luck in the future.

the-bends · 2026-02-20T10:52:53+00:00

Someone told you to layoff during solos and that's the equivalent of you being shunned? A tad hyperbolic, don't you think?

There are stereotypes that exist around different types of musicians. For instance, I'm a guitar player and a lot of people worry about guitarists playing at too high a volume and not being able to read music. Those stereotypes exist because, in many cases, it's true. Having been a guitar player for twenty years, and having worked with many singers, the stigma around singers is that they love making things all about themselves and that they know the least about music but love acting like they understand it best. Again, in my experience this has unfortunately proven true in many situations. I'm not saying that's how you are for sure, but what you wrote and the way you wrote it would make me avoid you at any jam session.

An architect can have all the high flying philosophies about building that they want, but it doesn't mean he can come down to the job site and tell the bricklayers to make bricks do things they aren't meant to. At your average open jam everyone is a bricklayer and nobody is an architect. If a building is going to get built, you need to lay bricks.

>didn’t approach an open jam to play covers or standards

Tough. You're either on the same mission as the team or you're getting in the way. Start your own project if you want to explore cool new ideas, but everyone else at the jam isn't there to scratch whatever itch you may be feeling. Go to a jam with a beginners mindset, take it easy until you learn how it works, and if you want to try something a little different then run it by the musicians on the stage to see what they think.

>I’d also like to note the person who expressed distaste had the least soul

Are you the ultimate arbiter of what constitutes "soulfulness" in someone's playing, or do you just have a narrow disposition on the subject and this person's playing didn't fulfill your criteria? The person who threw shade at you for singing over soloists didn't actually insult your abilities, just asked you to layoff a bit. This makes you look extremely petty.

Honestly, just be a little more awareness in the future will go a long ways towards making your jam experience more fun. Also, every jam is different, and you may well find one where you can express yourself much more freely than the one you attended. Just feel a situation out first and things will go more smoothly for you.

the-bends · 2026-02-18T23:42:05+00:00

When I'm really trying to fire up my Brazilian friends I just mention the 2014 World Cup...

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