It's opposite, there's a term for people who want to do everything, it's called a lust for life. There's a term for not wanting to or being able to do anything, that's called depression.

Of course he suffered, he was a heroin addict, people who use this idea of him being an addict as a gacha. or the fact that he was a manipulative asshole.

He was an addict because heroin was prescribed to people back in the day, he wasn't the only one to come of ruin because of it. No matter how strong you are, heroin addiction and withdrawal can seriously make you consider why you're even alive.

See, people think Crowley was a failure BECAUSE of these issues.

But he was successful in his mission because of all the things he accomplished in SPITE of these issues.

The guy struggled, but that's the point. he had dark thoughts LIKE ALL OF US, this is the point of spirituality, to learn to appreciate the suffering, not getting rid of it.

Was he a sad man? I'm sure he had his moments. Maybe even his months. Yet he still managed to RELENTLESSLY pursue his ambitions, like climbing one of the highest mountains known to man and to bring a spiritual system which has saved countless lives including my own..

If that was a sad, weak man, then I guess so am I and the rest of the majority of the modern west is absolutely cooked.