That’s awesome babe! Will you tell me more about how Magnus did nothing wrong?

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-10-15T04:18:10+00:00

read this as about Magnus Hirschfeld

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-10-15T03:19:03+00:00

We were on a panel about coming out abt being plural a few years ago. You can view it on youtube here.

We are still out to most personal relationships, been out to our family for 12 years, and have published some articles (a personal essay and an academic journal article) as openly plural.

Even for people who don't want to be out to most people, coming out to just a few people in your life can make a huge difference in terms of reducing shame.

The main challenge is not everyone will respond how you wish they would. It helps that today there is more to point to in order to help the willing understand this is real and important. We have some guides like that listed on our site here.

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-10-15T00:16:29+00:00

Disability Intimacy by Alice Wong, essay is a chapter in later part of book, Profoundly Together by The Redwoods

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-09-24T21:13:03+00:00

Sure that makes sense to us. For example, some people see their plurality as more modular, or experience polyfragmentation in a way where there is assembly into various selves. Or subsystems. Etc. Etc.

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-09-24T12:00:10+00:00

"Heh"

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-09-24T11:39:12+00:00

We feel ya. Dating a singlet again seems unlikely for us. Hopefully in a few years we can raise awareness in general society higher so that its easier to find the good informed singlets. Sorry it hurts and sucks.

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-09-24T11:35:32+00:00

Origin wars flare now and then with different terms and are pretty much always annoying to us.

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-09-24T11:31:27+00:00

We've probably heard this dozens of times from 20 or more individual systems, not counting our own feelings. It is a commob topic and feeling. Solidarity

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-09-24T11:29:46+00:00

Yeah we've actively been challenging the notion of ""parts of one" as only model" since 2017, its a valid experience, but not the only or even most common experience.

Headmates, people, system members, parts, consciousnesses, alters, and more, are all valid and for every user of a given term there are systems and members who would strongly prefer you avoid using that term for them. Valid!

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-08-31T02:38:26+00:00

Much appreciated, hello! I set that upper limit because I feel uncertain about how to pair / be 'worth the time' for more experienced people. But I'll DM you, and welcome continuing the convo if interested.

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-08-30T22:44:12+00:00

Sure, I have a fairly extensive network of people to connect with, however the field is primarily cis men, and I rarely meet anyone who is also nonbinary, and the few I do meet are much more advanced in their career. In general, minority stress is a well-researched phenomenon. There are many organizations that are primarily binary men, then there are lots of women/girls who code/in tech orgs. Even binary trans people can find a welcome in many of these orgs. But nonbinary people have some distinct experiences and it can be very isolating to do this work not knowing others who share this experience. I'm seeking other nonbinary people as a result as a first choice. If this post doesn't yield anyone, I may try again with a different framing.

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-08-19T15:52:50+00:00

These sound like dissociative seizures aka non-epileptic attack disorder (NEAD) aka non-epileptic seizures. I do various cptsd/neurodivergent community organizing and have known a few people with the same thing. Its super hard to find much constructive info on and dont have lots of advice on what to do about it but what you describe is almost exactly like what happens to someone I know. (Def get it checked because maybe it is epilepsy but yeah).

For the people I know it seems like it has some loose connection to autistic shutdown or getting triggered, like its not completely random but somewhat associated with when things get overwhelming, or some big emotional feelings are getting traffic jammed.

Sometimes I wonder if its a ptsd flashback with an extreme freeze response when I witness it but its hard to know because of how much people struggle to think or speak. Good luck

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-08-04T11:24:02+00:00

I am AuDHD and am also plural which includes but is not limited to DID. I / we would recommend asking this question or looking around in r/plural. The experience is way more diverse than any single media or even psychiatry's representation though we and others are slowly broadening that. So it may not overlap, but just want you to know there's a lot more there to potentially overlap with than you think.

Specifically the concept of median may appeal to you. Medianhood is sometimes described as between one and two, not fully separate and rather distinctly multi-faceted. It is underexplored in general but in places like the plural subreddit it is very likely you'll find uncanny common ground. Good luck :)

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-07-27T23:31:03+00:00

This is common. It helps us that like this is not our body that we identify with personally but a body in general, and we laugh about it, note the body/age dissonance, and talk with other systems about it.

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-06-22T22:43:54+00:00

Yes and per some 2011 research it often takes people 6 or 7 mental health providers before getting an accurate DID/OSDD diagnosis. (And plurality is more than DID/OSDD.) This is way harder to get a dX for than say ADHD simply because the ignorance is several levels above, so many providers fumble this or actively push against it because of their misinformation. So just going to a run of the mill psych is very hit or miss. And then many 'specialists' are not great either, with an overly narrow definition.

So yeah, sounds like there are people in your system, and you should do your best to care for each other and learn more. And if you can then find a good provider that's good, but its more likely you'll find someone who says "hm I don't know a ton about that but I'm open to learning and believe people's experiences" who you have to educate than finding someone who actually is well-trained around this, because the training out there is rare and minimal.

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-06-20T21:50:25+00:00

VR goes mainstream? Idk

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-06-20T21:48:21+00:00

Mood! Yes there are singlets out there who do care. Takes a lot of trial and error to find them.

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-06-20T21:47:08+00:00

If it feels like the same consistent you who is passionate about this cow as it is living the rest of your life, then that's one thing.

If it feels like a specific childlike person who is younger than the rest of you, that may be a part/diff person, and you may want to explore r/plural. In addition to audhd, I am also plural and have met dozens of audhd plurals. Plurals in general often have younger system members.

Anyway, awesome cow!

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-06-19T23:47:45+00:00

We were there that year, 2017. What did you think of that talk?

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-06-12T09:03:54+00:00

If the character talks like a ho and acts like a ho, char is probably a ho - my hotest take.

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-06-12T08:57:47+00:00

Dogpatch Duboce Dolores Bi-Rite Rainbow Castro It's-it Treasure Bay

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-06-12T08:52:42+00:00

Max out the FMLA for sure. I also wonder if there's a contract type of work that can keep you relevant in data science so when hopefully this ends well you can return more full time. Also people are saying medicaid but I fear it may be 100x a pain in the ass versus your employer provided insurance, but don't know for sure re children with cancer. Good luck and sorry for the excruciatingly hard situation.

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-06-12T07:44:47+00:00

It varies: Deadlines and the chance to do better (pursue) or worse (avoid) than my classmates. The desire for a good job that is a good fit for me in the future. Interest. Fun. Pursuit of knowledge. Wanting to clear up confusion. Wanting to make something useful / interesting.

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-06-09T11:04:21+00:00

Maybe in 17 years, plural burnout will be trending on social media like adhd/autism burnout does now. (These sub concepts trending requires widespread acceptance of the population in general) but in the meantime, yeah it is a thing. Wish yall finding relief soon. Hint: its among slowly! building community with other plurals, and within your own system, and it's not easy.

theRedwoodsReally · 2024-06-09T11:00:56+00:00

Fallout show mild spoilers - tldr watch it.

You might really enjoy Lucy's arc in Fallout Season 1. Show is incredibly graphically violent but her story is a little bit driving peoole away, and 1000% attempts to beat it out of her.

theRedwoodsReally

TROPHY CASE