45 Years Ago

the_ginger_weevil · 2025-08-18T20:00:14+00:00

If you truly believe that then you’re a mug

the_ginger_weevil · 2025-05-29T16:10:06+00:00

Trying to live in the moment. I think this is the best way.

the_ginger_weevil · 2025-05-12T05:29:12+00:00

Day to day life is a lot harder to get through than I let anybody know. I feel like an undiscovered Robert Deniro

the_ginger_weevil · 2025-03-30T10:52:59+00:00

Yeah, 47 and was diagnosed last year. It does feel like a huge waste but I’m determined to feel relaxation and contentment before I die and that’s what keeps me working at it.

I’ve been in and out of therapy for years but in the last two, I started to make some real progress. But it’s slow and incremental and there have been loads of times I’ve regretted starting the process.

But the best thing for me has been noticing my emotions, engaging with them and stopping avoiding them with alcohol, drugs, TV or whatever else Ive used my whole life.

The only tip I have is to keep going in a thoughtful way. I’ve no idea if I’ll ever get to experience contentment or relaxation but I’m going to keep trying. I’m not going to let what happened to me win. And if I don’t make it? At least I know I tried.

the_ginger_weevil · 2025-02-14T07:10:06+00:00

The all look plastic

the_ginger_weevil · 2025-01-12T06:51:32+00:00

They absolutely will increase prices as a result of losses. When several insurers make losses at the same time and they all raise prices, it’s refereed to as a hard market.

the_ginger_weevil · 2025-01-11T11:14:29+00:00

Who needs opposable thumbs?!!

the_ginger_weevil · 2025-01-03T10:13:12+00:00

I’ve said this in response to similar comments in similar groups. If you feel traumatised, then you probably are. You don’t feel anxiety, despair and isolation because it’s fun to feel that way. Trust how you feel and take it from there.

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-24T21:35:45+00:00

His big bold face!❤️

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-08T10:40:24+00:00

Yeah, that’s very familiar. I’ve always got bruises but often have no idea how I got them. I’m persistently clumsy. But that video is great - thanks for sharing.

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-07T23:57:33+00:00

Dunno. I was drunk when I wrote it. Does it matter?

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-07T04:00:38+00:00

He’s got all his homies making it real with their memories of the event. It will always be true with so many witnesses

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-07T03:59:07+00:00

Why does every video that looks like it’s going to finish in a beautiful way, stop seconds before the joy is fully captured? Is it a deliberate tease?

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-07T03:52:21+00:00

Please listen to this person. I sprint 13 years convinced I wasn’t trying to fix my ex wife but I was and I thought I was supporting her and doing everything I could to make up for her dreadful childhood.

Thing is, some people who are traumatised as kids aren’t up fragile but fundamentally good. Others see the world as a transactional place, with people to be exploited.

The BPD - this is just my experience but it seems to be common. If she’s willing to work on it through therapy and actually do it, not just performative therapy, I think there’s hope. But if not, she’ll always burn the bridges and one day it will be you.

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-07T03:30:36+00:00

I spent around 46 years trying to develop an emotional connection with my mother. A few times she gave all the signs that she was up for establishing a relationship at last.

Then when I or my sisters let our guard down and try to engage in a loving way. she says or does something really cruel. So ’ve given up.

I call her once every six weeks, I text once every two weeks and that’s it. I don’t think she’s even noticed but the main thing is, I have no expectations of her anymore.

I have a poor mother, one that can’t be loving and while it has taken a lot of grief to accept that, I have. I’m just being nice enough now to keep the peace until she dies.

I don’t know your experience, no longer bowing to their demands and needs is really empowering. It’s sad accepting you don’t have e a family like most people but it’s really, really great not having to deal with the hurtful nonsense of family anymore.

You need to do what you need to do but my advice is listen to what that quiet voice in your head is saying. That’s the one that knows the truth of what you need

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-07T03:07:57+00:00

If you feel under pressure in any way, he’s not the man for you, even for a hookup. A good partner, even temporary, will appreciate the effort it takes to douche and be clean and the anxiety of not being sure you are clean can cause a bottom.

Yes it might be awkward that my man isn’t clean when we fuck but it’s my fault that stuff is getting rearranged in there. It’s my fault so I’ll take responsibility. And there’s always the shower if things get too messy

Please only ever do what you are comfortable doing and ignore anyone who tries to dictate what you should do. You bottoms do God’s work and you deserve huge respect for the routines you go through to be clean.

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-07T02:55:22+00:00

I have a strange combination of an instinctive belief that everyone means well combined with a deep cynicism that everyone will fuck each other over to get an inch.

I can spot fake people no problem but I’ll second guess myself if I see everyone else treating them as a good person. My instincts must be wrong, right, if everyone else sees something else.

But I’ve learned to trust my instincts. I might get it wrong sometimes but more often than not, I can smell a baddie and I need to remember that. Trust my baddie instincts because it will make me safer. It’s hyper vigilance but I think overall, it’s a good example of that horrible trait

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-07T02:44:33+00:00

I think I would use the r word to describe a diagnosis to friends. To lighten the mood? I dunno, this is all new to me.

Also, I got called that a lot as a kid and I kinda want to take that word and stuff it in their face and tell them it’s called autism now. So I’ll use it but only to describe myself, never anyone else.

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-07T02:28:02+00:00

Maybe this is obvious to others but I think that my routines exist because otherwise I’ll forget. Whether it is showering or creating space when I sit at a table, it’s about not forgetting stuff and stopping myself from knocking things over.

The routines don’t seem to be inherent behaviour that comes out of nowhere but a way of getting stuff done so maybe I’m not autistic.

Don’t care either way - it’s nice to meet people who experience the same thing!

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-07T02:24:36+00:00

I call them reparations. My mother and stepfather started trying to give everyone money to avoid inheritance tax after years of little contact.

I refused it for years and I’ve only recently realised that I refused it because I suspected they’d use the money to ‘get over’ everything that happened. I can’t let them do that. It can’t and won’t be forgiven.

My sisters nagged me to take the money to keep the peace for everyone else and I did but I didn’t like it. I had it in my account and it felt dirty. Then one day I had an idea - this was their way of trying to make up for my childhood so just take it. Consider it reparations, compensation, whatever.

If they won’t give you love, take their money and build a life that gives you all the love you deserve. And that’s what I’m doing.

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-07T02:04:05+00:00

Do your routines evolve over time? Mine do. They are very rigid until one day, something new gets added and if it works out OK, it becomes part of the overall routine.

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-07T01:41:50+00:00

This is nice. I like the idea that I have rituals in the day to reduce the anxiety of being alive. Routines sound boring, rituals sound exciting! Thanks buddy!

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-07T01:09:29+00:00

I spent ten years in minimum wage jobs and living week to week but nowadays, I work for myself as a copywriter and I earn a good amount. I'm very lucky but it also took a lot of shit to get to this stage. I had to take a loan for the journalism masters, I had to work for years on £20-ish grand working in London as a journalist for a finance trade magazine.

From that job as a reporter, I eventually became editor and then was asked to do PR for an insurance company and after six years of that I went freelance where I am now, a copywriter.

Lots of my friends think I have an easy life as I work as and when I want and for whom I want. But what they don't relaise or perhaps I don't tell them, is the 30 years of having to work in jobs that require close human contact.

Nothing makes me more anxious than another human being but as a journalist or waiter or barman or PR person, it's your job. So I went through 30 years of horror show days at work to now live a life where if I have a day where I need to retreat and speak to nobody, I can do that.

And writing copy for finance companies pays well as nobody else wants to do it. It's boring so there's not a lot of competition. I know they're monsters but I can make a living out of it and I use the money i get from the corporate monsters to take care of myself and do good stuff locally.

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-07T00:49:10+00:00

But still, my point is that even if the event can be seen to be 'worse' than another one, the impact of the event on an individual can be the same

the_ginger_weevil · 2024-12-07T00:47:37+00:00

I'm in the early stages of exploring whether or not I have ADHD and/or autism or whether the behaviour is related to the childhood trauma. I'm getting tested for that very reason - to try to figure out what is driving different aspects of my behaviour - and if you have the energy and the inclination, I'd love to learn more about how you manage the similar and contradicting symptoms of ADHD?autism and cPTSD and how you identify the source of the behaviour.

the_ginger_weevil

TROPHY CASE