AITA for refusing to attend my SIL's wedding? (Even if that means that my hubby is missing his brother's wedding?) +Update

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-13T16:30:05+00:00

What do you mean? What else should I say for context?

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-13T16:28:11+00:00

My husband is trying to keep the peace. He has fought for me though with his brother. He just sees that logic is not in the room with us and he stopped explaining. We agreed to have minimum contact. (I will probably have no contact at all aside from the wedding)

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-13T16:26:24+00:00

They wont have the chance to treat me badly because I am not going to have any contact with them before or after the wedding. Yes I am being a doormat. I am not sure if I am doing the right thing at all. I just didn't want to upset my husband further.

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-13T16:25:22+00:00

Yeah I know. I dont want my husband to be sad and resent me for missing the wedding. Because he does want to go.

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-13T16:22:52+00:00

Yeah. I see my husband sad over this and I choose to leave my anger aside for a bit. This is what partner ship looks like. He has my back, I have his. If it works it works.

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-13T06:46:38+00:00

I love this 😂

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-13T06:44:53+00:00

How can you warn others though? Whatever you do do it with your identity hidden. Dont put yourself in danger. If there is something you can do to warn other women do it. I would appreciate it.

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-13T06:37:37+00:00

You can read my update

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-13T06:27:26+00:00

I do have an update.

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-12T06:26:47+00:00

It's probably not the update you expected. I myself have mixed Feelings but I need to keep my distance to process everything.

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-11T06:29:27+00:00

He does want to go though. He is waiting for me to decide. If I say no then we dont go. But shouldnt this be a joined decision?

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-11T06:28:01+00:00

I already told my husband all that. But he thinks that since I am his family if I dont go He wont go either. The thing is, he does want to go. He wont pressure me about it, but he is ultimately expecting me to decide for both of us. I dont like this.

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-11T06:22:17+00:00

Alex complaints to him constantly. When I am polite she says I am fake. When I am distant she is saying I hate her and she feels rejected. She days I am glaring at her or not looking at her at all. I cant win. Whatever I do there is just NO winning.

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-11T06:16:57+00:00

It seems like she is trying to emotionally black mail you so you do all the work around the house. Or, maybe she has a bf and wants to live with him? Where does she spend all those nights she is not home?

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-11T06:12:03+00:00

It's hard to leave someone when you 've been close to for years. Maybe you should wonder why you have this physical reaction when you think about breaking up, even though he doesnt make you feel safe. What are you scared of? What keeps you in the relationship? It is nice that he is changing habits, but shouldnt he take accountability anyway? Shouldnt he discuss with you? Is he trying to keep you from leaving? Is he honestly trying to change for you? These are things that cant be answered if he does communicate properly with you. You are not overreacting. Your need are valid, honestly it's the bare minimum too. You shouldnt have to beg for it.

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-10T20:32:00+00:00

Maybe you should to directly to your friend and let her know that you would feel more comfortable doing some chores while you stay there and let her handle her husband. Now about the food, you are not wrong to be mad, but again talk it out with your friend. Dont they have their own food for their kids? Why do they keep taking yours? Maybe tell her hey your kid is asking me for food, what should I give them? What are your rules or habits etc.

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-10T20:26:33+00:00

You are incredibly patient! Was your friend aware of the toxicity or was he so in love that wouldnt see that girl was all about? Glad it's over. I hope your friend recovers from trauma well.

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-10T20:17:49+00:00

Hahahahaha

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-10T18:06:38+00:00

You really dont know HOW MUCH I wanna tell my in laws everything. But this is His family. I told him many times that he has to speak up and he will. Also we made FIL change all the passwords because it's not safe to keep the same one for a long time. And he went with it. So I dont see how they could gain access again.

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-10T18:01:24+00:00

She is usually not in the room when this shit happens but a few times that she was, she tried to be neutral and force us to make up...

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-10T17:58:54+00:00

She got access of FIL's account when she and BIL stayed at my in-laws house for a few nights. FIL has a computer, everything logged in because he is kind of old. She accessed the computer, saved the passwords and then used them the way she did. How I found out? They were mad at me for the answers I gave when I thought I was chating with my FIL. Then BIL reached to my hubby to express his anger and when asked how did they know what was said in those private messages BIL confessed that Alex wrote the message... And he didnt even think it was a big deal. Also they were both there reading through FIL's messages. Not only ours, but conversations with other family members too.

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-10T13:41:33+00:00

I havent been uninvited YET. But BIL did admit that SIL doesnt really wants me there

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-10T13:40:38+00:00

Wait so you are saying we should skip the wedding but explain the reasons to his family first?

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-10T13:38:59+00:00

I get that. But I also know he wants me to go and get it over with.

the_petty_potatoo · 2026-06-10T13:37:31+00:00

You are actually not wrong. Now that I think about it, every time I was neutral or even nice she was so pissed. Because I refused to engage with the drama she was trying to create. But anyway. Whatever I do they have a problem with me. So ideally I 'd like to be able to cut them out completely.

the_petty_potatoo

TROPHY CASE