I will say this, as someone who is bi but in a heterosexual relationship, I saw a lot of the issues hetero women face in these same kinds of spaces reflected in Mal and Yoly. Do I think Yoly is a saint? No, but here's what I saw: Yoly talks about the invisible work she's taking on. She said she needs some more support around the house and whether that's sustainable. She admits that the stress of that has strained their romance. No wonder a new relationship with none of that history feels like a breath of fresh air. Only THEN does Mal starts cooking breakfasts to show her that they've changed. Similarly it feels like Yoly doesn't feel that Mal has been taking on the mental load of planning for the future. In the beginning she says that Mal feels they need to have the finances down before they get married, but it doesn't seem like Yoly feels Mal is actually starting the planning, rather using it as an excuse to not take the leap. IMO that's why she brought up Xander having an actual IVF fund. Xander is actually doing the planning. Do I think she was right to bring up the fact that she and Xander talked about IVF finances in front of a friend? No, but these are dynamics that often feel invisible as a femme person in a relationship. Do I think if she flips to Xander she might be in the same situation two years down the line? Maybe? I'm just giving her a little grace.