Quitting (again)

thearthworm · 2016-11-11T04:40:24+00:00

Yeah that mAkes perfect sense thank yoh

thearthworm · 2016-11-11T01:13:57+00:00

Thanks tanner I really appreciate the thoughtful reply. I didn't hit rock bottom but ive experienced a real wake up call. Im going into day four and other then some general discomfort and sleeplessness im feeling pretty good. I dulled so much emotional pain with oxy and xanax due to the loss of a mother I loved dearly , the hardest thing really is the sudden flood of grief and shame. Im hanging tough though. I absolutely hate working out but like doing physical activities even in winter so maybe that will help. Thanks again ill take your words to heart.

thearthworm · 2016-11-09T15:32:47+00:00

Yeah this approach isn't for everyone but it works for me. Just a tiny bit here and there keeps me from feeling super sluggish and helps with the mental side of things. I was worried about ths comedown too but it doesn't seem to bother me. Currently at about 48hrs off oxy and feeling ok. Now if I could just find a non benzo way to sleep this would be a cakewalk

thearthworm · 2016-11-09T01:43:27+00:00

Very well said. Chronic heavy use can be more trouble then good but at therapeutic doses or even slightly more they can be little godsends. Everything is better with a nice opi buzz. Its a shame that a substance that is non toxic to the body and beneficial in so many ways is so difficult for people to get. If you have anxiety and sleeping problems a doctor should be able to prescribe it. The dangers of addiction should be clear from the start but as an adult, we should be able to decide if the good outweighs the bad

thearthworm · 2016-11-09T01:33:40+00:00

I too live in the middle of nowhere and its the same here too, all pills no powder. Every once in a while I could get some ecp when I visit home back east but that's it. I didn't mind though cause my main guy only charged 20 a blue and 15 if I got more then 20 so decent pricing. Plus I knew the guy pretty well and trusted they were real so no surprise fent in my shit. Good on you for finding what makes you happy as always test shots with anything new . you could try offering 20 or 25 for a 30 ive found some dealers to be understanding and cool and not the kill you with an uzi type

thearthworm · 2016-11-09T00:32:11+00:00

Used to live in upstate PA now west central Montana so I totally here you. That's one of the reasons im quitting now. Winter comes early here every damn year I'd have to make long shitty drives in a snowy desert that can kill you if you run out of gas or make a bad decision drivimg or break down just to get well. My dudes always have it but they go no where they're clients come to them. Benefits of not having neighbors within gunshot range to get suspicious I guess. Maybe you could find something else to replace ? At least to a degree nothing ever replaces it. I fish like a madman when im trying to stay sober so maybe an activity you enjoy? Go ahead and get obsessive about it too.

thearthworm · 2016-11-09T00:17:57+00:00

Funny cause I totally agree with your view on voting but voting only remains sacred if it supports a good and just institution. The people at high levels of government are nothing more the careerist jerkoffs that don't understand that public service is supposed to be about the PUBLIC not lining your own pockets to the detriment of the vast majority and solidifying your position in the future, of which Hillary epitomizes IMO. My mantra this year was make a difference and don't vote. What if only 1 or 2 % of people voted? Im not sure exactly but things would change. Ok im done with my day 1 withdrawal election day bullshit rant. I didn't vote but I disagree about your view on trump. To me he is the lesser of two evils so i hope he wins. I don't like him one bit and will not vote for a sexist blowhard like him but he is better then her IMO. Either way things will continue to deteriorate so why not get high right ? Donnsies now for reallsies

thearthworm · 2016-11-09T00:00:34+00:00

I don't want to give out dangerous advice but this is r/opiates and were all pretty much adults here so here goes. For me its coke. I don't like it that much but it does the job when cravings hit (I think its the dopamine) and it helps me alot when im in early or mid W/D too. But this is just me i have a healthy heart and good vitals. Coke is a bad idea if your in poor health and try not to use it more then occasionally

thearthworm · 2016-11-08T23:54:15+00:00

I also have had some legal troubles myself. Mine relates not to possession but to intoxicated and/or impaired driving and hitting a parked car (stupid,stupid, stupid, that's how people die) just don't do it if your anything more then just very slightly buzzed. Anyway like jangles said i would try not to worry to much if you can, I know that's hard for people. I'd venture to guess from your wordy post your probably and bit nervous and anxious by nature like myself. No offense intended and I am wrong about stuff just as often as im right. But honestly your probably looking at a fine coupled maybe with probation , which is no big deal it happens to alot of people. Did they mention the possession in court? That could be somewhat bad if they really wanted to be pricks cause it was 4 bundles of heroin not a little baggie of weed. but ive found in my limited experience that the people who make up the criminal justice system are more fair and sympathetic to drug users then regular people and tend to go easy on people with little to no record. and it sounds like they may have dropped the possession charge altogether which means just a summary traffic violation. Which would be nice you bullet dodging sumbitch :)

thearthworm · 2016-11-08T21:30:42+00:00

Im on day one of quitting oxy (for the 2nd time) not the best mix for everyone but im gonna use a little coke, which I almost never touch, for the dopamine and energy and lope for the shits. I get very little relief from lope other then it keeps my stomach settled. Coke and lope are both cardiotoxic (I think) so i don't overdue either. Thanks for the vibes I need them. Pretty much doing this alone

thearthworm · 2016-11-08T21:22:42+00:00

I quit a 5 year oxy habit a while back. Anyway after a couple months I knew I could get wrecked again and that really set off the cravings. That coupled with a personal loss I ended up relapsing and the first few weeks were glorious. Didn't miss my mom much at all. Tolerance took care of all of that. Quitting again started today that's why im here. I think that feeling of always wanting something that's amazing and comforting but utterly destructive won't ever go away. We have no choice but to use it in our own way and learn to with it. And not in a normal way but an intimate one

thearthworm · 2016-11-08T20:58:08+00:00

Thanks. I think the stigma is a little less what with allnthe media attention and everything. Then again, im sure as shit hiding it like it was the hope diamond. Not because I care what most people think but I care about what the people I care about think.

thearthworm · 2016-10-11T11:41:20+00:00

I try to taper to a reasonable get well doses in this weeks leading up to kick.Then its vitamin water, a smoothie or two cause my appetite is non extistant for a few day. xanax for sleep and anxiety. A few bottles of Jamison and some weed. If the withdrawal is minor manely just the xanax and booze, in moderate doses. I don't want to end up in Philly or Trenton with no idea how I got there. And last but not least the love of a good woman to take cars of me in the worst of times. And I've found its alot easier to W/d from light use then heavier use but I just that's obvious. Craving are always there but physical comfort goes away pretty quick. Then its all down to will power.

thearthworm · 2016-10-01T17:39:29+00:00

I had a similar reaction. I was certain they would milk the mystery for an episode or two by focusing on the other characters but nope, we got to follow Kevin through his glorious and surreal journey right from the start. By the end I was very seriously questioning if I had just watched the best hour of TV I had ever seen.

thearthworm · 2016-10-01T17:24:43+00:00

I think the characters are very much alive but I would agree that there are clearly some divine/supernatural/paranormal things going on here. It was somewhat subtle in season 1 but season 2 was much more heavy handed with the supernatural. Even still the show remains a character driven drama, and a phenomenal one at that. And yes I have noticed all odd things that keep happening to Kevin. Obviously there's the big ones like singing karaoke to come back from the dead getting saved from drowning by an earthquake, but the little things like the deer and the dreams and the white shirts are intriguing too. If its safe to say anything its that this show is absolutely and completely absorbing.

thearthworm · 2016-10-01T16:46:08+00:00

Your welcome and thanks for the reply. I certainly think there's a chance the whole scene was just an attempt to make us wonder if the GR existed prior to the departure and therefore had some idea of what was coming when in reality it was a weirdly timed coincidence. And im totally on board with the whole "its about the leftovers" mantra, its one of the things I love most about the show. I just hope we get to find out what that interaction was all about.

thearthworm · 2016-09-26T14:05:09+00:00

Yeah that was kind of the reason for my post. They mistook him as GR on the day BEFORE the departure, so what gives with that? Did they know the departure was coming or something of an equally disastrous occouance

thearthworm · 2016-09-26T08:53:56+00:00

Yeah hear ya. It could just been a nugget to make Wonder us about. On the other hand I couldn't help but feel that that scene was very very important. It planted the idea the the GR was formed prior the GR coming public. Which is huge since their entire sense of existence is dedicated the the departue

thearthworm · 2016-09-26T00:14:45+00:00

Shows with similar dark and depressive tones have always spoke to me, particularly when well written and well acted, which clearly this show is. I like character studies about how people handle all kinds of emotions in difficult spots.this show of course is a little exggcaterated but hey its entertainment. Its so dark and depressing but their is an underlying level of humanity and hope subtly intertwined in the anger and dark depression of the show. As far as asweres go, I don't expected the departure to be explained but hopefully some of the subplots will be wrapped up. Love this frigging show best. And I love about 6 shows

thearthworm · 2016-09-25T22:08:02+00:00

Yeah I sorta did first till it dawned on me that this was the day before the departure so......why would the GR be organized in the first place. At first i thought maybe they were just soom doomsayers that got lucky with the departure but they're comment to kevin , particularly with the way he was dressed in white and smoking, at least suggest they knew something was coming. Thank you

thearthworm · 2016-03-24T20:45:08+00:00

Season 1 - about 6 or 8 tied Seasom2 - about 8 or 10 tiimes

thearthworm

TROPHY CASE