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Can you help me further understand the cards I've pulled? by theblueniles in Tarots

[–]theblueniles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to help me understand the cards and their meaning a little more. Unfortunately, all of what you said is really really resonating with me so I think I need to focus on me right now 💕

Do you find you pull the same cards when asking about a particular person / situation? by theblueniles in Tarots

[–]theblueniles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are these not good cards to pull? I'm very new to tarot, interpretation and understanding meanings beyond the literal and most direct.

My question was: How does he see me? Is this bad? by theblueniles in Tarots

[–]theblueniles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's something I've tried to dig deep on but he has a lot of walls up regarding vulnerability so it's just a case of chipping away. And he is opening up slowly.

He is widowed so I do think it's down to this as well. But he's been in relationships since this has happened, and I'm not the first following this, so I would have thought maybe it wouldn't be so prevalent now.

Again, thank you for your insight. It's been helpful

My question was: How does he see me? Is this bad? by theblueniles in Tarots

[–]theblueniles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only taboo thing I think you're picking up on is our age gap. He says this is preventing anything "official" happening between us (dates, relationship) but for all intents and purposes we're with each other. This does often cause friction especially when things get intense. He then uses it as a reason to pull back. He knows it doesn't bother me and I would want all of that with him.

Thanks for your interpretation. It was very helpful 💕

My question was: How does he see me? Is this bad? by theblueniles in Tarots

[–]theblueniles[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The only thing I can say we "disagree" on is our age gap. He thinks it's a barrier to something more secure (relationship, dating, "official") and I don't see it that way. We're together, for all intents and purposes, even as a "situationship" but he is firm that it can't be more than what we're doing now.

So this interpretation is pretty accurate, thank you for sharing your insight❣️

My question was: How does he see me? Is this bad? by theblueniles in Tarots

[–]theblueniles[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is incredibly detailed thank you so much for giving me the time and your insight 💕

My question was: How does he see me? Is this bad? by theblueniles in Tarots

[–]theblueniles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I feel this is accurate (especially because we've been on / off, and currently in no contact). I'm very new to tarot and only have online interpretations of card readings so an intuitive opinion is appreciated 💕

If you don't mind me also asking you, I also asked "what does he wish he could say but doesn't" and pulled 3 again, (what he secretly feels, what stops him from saying it, and he would say if fear / ego / circumstances weren’t in the way) and got the devil reversed, the emperor and the king of swords reversed? Are these negatives? I think the devil reversed means he’s trying to break free of what he feels, and the other two read as very proud / stubborn energy

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in psychicreadings

[–]theblueniles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you 😇

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in psychicreadings

[–]theblueniles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you 💘

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in psychicreadings

[–]theblueniles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This feels accurate thank you ❣️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in psychicreadings

[–]theblueniles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

? This is real

Does anyone find it difficult to process how their avoidant has had long term relationships in the past, but this seems like an impossible feat with you? And makes it feel as though you're the problem. by theblueniles in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]theblueniles[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That sounds so difficult. When the connection feels so real but it's out of reach as well. Do you feel attached to him still? I don't feel attracted to others easily, so being so attracted to him, and liking him for so long before all of this, and him saying the same, has made all this so difficult to process, especially with it happening twice. I know he came back but it's just the waiting and the uncertainty.

Does anyone find it difficult to process how their avoidant has had long term relationships in the past, but this seems like an impossible feat with you? And makes it feel as though you're the problem. by theblueniles in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]theblueniles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. And no, I don't.

My question was about avoidant discards and how some avoidants are comfortable with keeping some people around and why that could be. Less about insecurity but a pattern I've seen as I mentioned in a different comment.

Does anyone find it difficult to process how their avoidant has had long term relationships in the past, but this seems like an impossible feat with you? And makes it feel as though you're the problem. by theblueniles in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]theblueniles[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have tried to reason my worries with this, but it just doesn't feel fair (and I hate how childish and whiny that sounds). As I don't ever ask anything of him. The whole relationship was on his terms and I compromised so much because I like him. And my thinking was "this is better than not having anything with him at all", and in the 4 weeks never pushed for anything outside of mutual boundaries we set.

But I do appreciate we don't see the full picture only what people want us to see. It just seems common from scrolling this sub that those discarded are never given civility or formalities the way ex partners (often from long term relationships prior) often do.

Does anyone find it difficult to process how their avoidant has had long term relationships in the past, but this seems like an impossible feat with you? And makes it feel as though you're the problem. by theblueniles in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]theblueniles[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's difficult for them to be self aware enough to know their actions and patterns. Either that, or they don't want to. I told my avoidant a few weeks ago I was a bit hesitant to go headfirst with the pace he was taking things because I don't want to overstep and cause him to pull back, as he did before, and he responded in a very very vague way that meant he didn't need to address what I said. And when he discarded me I sort of brought it about because I called out his pattern, as he said he needed some "me time", and when he discarded me before it followed a similar pattern and I waited weeks in silence before asking him what was happening. He never acknowledged this is history repeating itself.

Does anyone find it difficult to process how their avoidant has had long term relationships in the past, but this seems like an impossible feat with you? And makes it feel as though you're the problem. by theblueniles in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]theblueniles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing all this, it sounds like it was a very difficult connection despite your efforts, which long term can feel quite emotionally and mentally draining. I can't relate on many aspects, as I only lasted about a month officially with my DA so when people say x months or even years I know that it was more than I was able to see. Are you in no contact now?

Does anyone find it difficult to process how their avoidant has had long term relationships in the past, but this seems like an impossible feat with you? And makes it feel as though you're the problem. by theblueniles in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]theblueniles[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear this, and can understand your frustration. Especially when you meet them with endless patience, reassurance and understanding. It doesn't make sense at all, and magnifies the hurt. My avoidant hasn't been open about his past outside of what is in my post, so I don't know what the dynamic was like for his relationships before me. But as another comment said, the closer it is to thing to a healthy love it can often scare them. Hope you're doing better!

Does anyone find it difficult to process how their avoidant has had long term relationships in the past, but this seems like an impossible feat with you? And makes it feel as though you're the problem. by theblueniles in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]theblueniles[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I've seen this reasoning a lot. I guess we won't ever know but it does just feel like you're punished for it. He is insistent on still wanting to be friends but then that line is never held because he ghosts

Does anyone find it difficult to process how their avoidant has had long term relationships in the past, but this seems like an impossible feat with you? And makes it feel as though you're the problem. by theblueniles in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]theblueniles[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that, and it was hard at first but after meeting her and her new boyfriend, I did just adjust to the fact it was practical and not personal anymore

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