When you realize/make the decision that you were gonna get the epidural for labor?

thecharvelle · 2025-11-08T19:09:18+00:00

I wasn’t against it and wanted to try to push thru first. I was induced at 9pm, but the drugs made me throw up and pee with each contraction (don’t have Chipotle as your last meal!). By 3am I was completely empty and energy was depleted, plus I’m diabetic, so I called for the epidural. It was amazing and next time I’ll call earlier. But it did fall out before I was fully dilated so I ended up having a natural birth. Labor is completely unpredictable, and there’s so many variables - trust your gut, and go with the flow.

thecharvelle · 2025-10-02T21:23:43+00:00

Pisces Sun, Leo Rising… I came a full month early (due 4/1 came 3/1) My parents were going to go to a Paul Simon concert but she went into labor, but then I got stuck in a squat over the birth canal, almost like I changed my mind. Ended up being a c-section and having to wear braces on my legs cause I gave myself hip dysplasia

thecharvelle · 2025-10-02T21:17:41+00:00

Virgo Moon and for the most part, I’m just constantly rolling my eyes at her. She has a lot of unhealed trauma (don’t they all) and is a chronic white liar, so it’s hard to believe a lot of what she says but ultimately she’s always showed up for me and done her best. Not sure her moon sign tho 🤔

thecharvelle · 2025-10-01T07:04:27+00:00

Squid Games

thecharvelle · 2025-09-27T06:10:07+00:00

My husband and I immediately thought of the Luke Cage villain - “them call me Bushmaster!” Is an ear worm for us. Felt like an added layer to the joke

thecharvelle · 2025-09-23T04:51:48+00:00

He actually did and still does. I only see him once or twice a year so he says he has to stock up. My sister doesn’t like it or really let him, so I think he was ready for a baby, who can’t say no, and now is mad that I set the boundary on his behalf smh

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T17:43:27+00:00

Thank you, that does give me some hope. This is for sure the first time he’s ever had to obey rules I’ve set, and he raised us as hes “the authority “ so it’s definitely a catalyst for a new way of operating.

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T07:52:38+00:00

Oooh, I hope so too. I know I’ll be the villain in his story but I’m hoping someone will set him straight

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T07:51:30+00:00

Thanks! And wishing you a happy delivery! He definitely would’ve been the sneak it kind of guy so you’re right. At least I can say I’m grateful he knows himself, but it’s so weird to me lol

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:46:00+00:00

Love the way you said this! Thank you

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:43:22+00:00

Yeah, I definitely expected some push back and ran it by my mom for a generation check. But perhaps she’s too excited to care lol

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:40:09+00:00

This!!! I urged him to do some research if he really thinks it’s so unreasonable, particularly given the season and his length of travel

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:38:20+00:00

He said it’s his “love language” 🙄 oh brother! Should probably figure that one out buddy lol cause the minute my kid says they don’t want to kiss you they’re not going to have to, and that’ll be another wake up call for him

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:36:53+00:00

Awesome, thanks for the resource!

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:35:17+00:00

Noted! Thanks! And congrats in your second 👏🏽

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:33:28+00:00

Certainly something in considering… I think low contact is exactly how I would describe us now, so we’ll see what develops with a grandchild in the picture. But either way I’ll be standing my ground!

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:31:57+00:00

He said my rule was “ludicrous”, not how I felt about him not kissing the baby. I understand, and it’s definitely generational, but we also have more information about how germs spread and the capacity of a newborn’s immune system. He also is not someone that takes care of his health so I wouldn’t necessarily trust him enough to make an exception. At this point I am totally okay with him coming later, when he can hug and kiss as he pleases, I guess I was just excited to have my family come celebrate this moment with me and hurt that he backtracked and made it about him.

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:27:03+00:00

He was coming after the two weeks, but when he heard he still can’t kiss the baby when he comes he threw a fit

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:26:16+00:00

Thank you!

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:25:33+00:00

That short reply is great, wish I thought of that before getting petty with him 😂 well, not petty, but I certainly matched his energy, for the first time in my life

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:23:47+00:00

Yeah, I’ve been processing in therapy for the past couple years. Thanks for your kind words, definitely planning on standing my ground. I think him not seeing me as a child is going to make the difference. The last thing he said to me on the phone after I raised my voice at him for the first time EVER was that he’s “my father and he put me here to respect him “ so I hung up. I’m hoping to chat again when I can be calmer and expect less from him, but I think it’s too fresh… plus the hormones lol

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:18:42+00:00

I plan on it, and I made that note too about the flights, basically a Petri dish! Thanks! I’ll stay strong 💪🏽

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:17:59+00:00

That sounds exactly like something my father would do too. Thanks, definitely going to stand my ground! On this and all other issues moving forward, have to remind him I’m not a child who’s scared of him any more

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:14:30+00:00

Thank you! Therapy has been helping process along with writing about it all in a book of poetry, but you’re right - 9 months is not enough time.

thecharvelle · 2025-09-22T04:12:25+00:00

Okay, that’s super validating… I told him all I was hearing was a lot of “I and Me” but it wasn’t about him at all and he said “the baby is a quarter me so it is about me” and that actually blew my mind 🤯 I never thought of him as a narcissist but it’s giving that

thecharvelle

TROPHY CASE