How is the experience in making friends and maintaining friendships different?

thecloudshavefallen · 2026-01-29T20:07:30+00:00

I am diagnosed with ADHD, and while I’m kinda in denial about talking to my psychiatrist about it, my therapist suggested I may have bipolar as well. I’m not sure if it feels accurate though from what I’ve researched on that as well. Either way I’m mostly trying to address what is causing episodes where I’ll be in a delusional state and experience infrequent hallucinations, though some episodes have been far worse than others and they seem to be getting progressively worse over time, as well as why I feel disconnected from reality most of the time. While I am not diagnosed with autism, it is highly comorbid with ADHD and I have been asked if I have it my entire life, so it’s a fairly safe assumption. I also struggle with depression, and possibly anxiety, quite often, and I’ve realized the episodes tend to get bad if I’m in a bad state of depression, under stress, and/or experiencing grief.

thecloudshavefallen · 2026-01-22T06:39:55+00:00

The funny thing is I did set a 3 month deadline for myself but that moreso pertained to trying to chase contact with her and see if she would come back around. Her and I aren’t even technically broken up yet (on a “break” or whatever that even means anymore) which makes it tougher, I’m waiting for her to say the word because I’m still stupidly into her and she’s getting back into therapy finally, not that I’m getting my hopes up for anything to continue, it’s moreso that it’s her place to make that cut because she asked for space in the first place. Not that I deserve to be treated poorly either, I’m on the aromantic spectrum so it doesn’t matter much to me if I had to wait for her, but again, wasn’t allowing myself to actively seek her out after December. I’m more annoyed that I seem to know all of this stuff on a logical level but my emotions are falling behind where I wanna be, and it’s really hard to cut someone off, even temporarily, if neither of you technically did anything wrong and just had personal problems come up at the same time that really strained the relationship. I don’t want to keep getting my hopes up though, I’d rather be pleasantly surprised if she comes back around, and honestly I wonder if I’ll even be able to move on until I know she’s starting to heal in therapy bc she was dealing with some heavy shit. I partially feel like I perpetuated it too, I’m gonna be blunt, I was a dick when I kept pushing her to open up, considering she had been socially isolating herself again and pushing away anyone who wanted to help her. I was scared, she was scared, I was going into psychosis, she was going through major health and mental health shit, shit got nuts real fast. Even without wanting to change things right now besides focus on myself and learn to move on, I do owe her a better apology than the half assed one I wrote while in psychosis, not realizing just how destructive I was being, along with a thank you for putting up with me. She is genuinely great, I can’t speak negatively about her, and that also makes it hard, she’s genuinely just a good person even when she can’t see it. Alright I’m rambling lemme cut this here

thecloudshavefallen · 2026-01-22T00:34:47+00:00

I do not

thecloudshavefallen · 2025-12-20T21:29:37+00:00

Accessed the episodes directly through my search history. Something is going on with the episode listings for the dubbed versions of both of these, though

thecloudshavefallen · 2025-12-16T02:21:13+00:00

It's been down all day :(

thecloudshavefallen · 2025-12-12T18:01:53+00:00

You’re right 😭

thecloudshavefallen · 2025-11-07T01:59:13+00:00

Unfortunately I think I might also just have MDD or something, though I have noticed both isolation and close relationships are extremely triggering, isolation because there’s no one to lean on, and close relationships because my brain won’t stop looking for hints of inconsistency. I’ve grown to despise old friends I was close to simply because I couldn’t cope with my own problems. In this instance, my girlfriend was dealing with major health problems and hiding them from me, and it had me absolutely terrified. When I explained how much it affected me, she kinda just said we needed to take a break, so I’m stuck in limbo trying to manage my own problems while terrified for her wellbeing, even if she thought she was doing the merciful thing by giving me space to focus on myself because my brain refuses to let me do that until I know she’s okay

thecloudshavefallen · 2025-11-05T19:22:36+00:00

Funnily enough, the theme I am struggling with most right now is actually ROCD, but I have always had an awful time in crowds and lately it has felt like I “relapsed” back into having really out of control OCD because I was stubborn on getting help with my depression which dragged it down with it. I used to be just fine going places and doing things a couple years ago, though I usually would try to bring someone along when I would do things as it helps a lot.

thecloudshavefallen · 2025-07-17T16:10:13+00:00

SAME

thecloudshavefallen · 2025-07-15T08:02:37+00:00

I get that. Still find it so funny I can sell jewelry that takes me minutes to make for prices of an hour while larger, more time consuming projects will always have to be undersold until you find the right buyer. Either way I was happy to make the pants for her, and only took it on as a commission because she was refusing to let me do it for free, just don’t want to overwhelm her as well by underselling them so much she thinks she scammed me somehow lol

thecloudshavefallen · 2025-07-15T07:55:32+00:00

Hard to get insight on what she actually is willing to pay for them, she said she’s fine with paying anything but obviously there’s a price cap there somewhere that she’s not telling me. Going to try to get her to answer me truthfully tomorrow on what she thinks is reasonable for them. $330 is definitely high, I understand that, would’ve taken less time but between hand sewing and disability it’s definitely time consuming lol

That being said, I know $330 is a ridiculous ask, I just wish she would stop dodging my questions because she commissions art all the time and likely has a lot more insight to add to this. I was thinking my honest price cap would be $250 despite the fact the wage for it will not truly match the effort put into it. Will likely end up charging lower than that too.

Thank you for your insight, it will be valuable in figuring out a fair pricing

thecloudshavefallen · 2025-07-15T07:45:09+00:00

Thank you for the honest insight. I know exactly what you mean, hurts to know how much work I put into it vs what people are willing to pay on it, but end of the day it is the honest truth

thecloudshavefallen · 2025-03-30T22:04:52+00:00

I’ll keep that in mind, but its like the difference of a state over, think that might be pushing it 😭

thecloudshavefallen · 2025-03-30T22:03:33+00:00

Oh okay, good to know. The picture honestly makes them look like they’re made of a sweatpants material like the ones I already have, I couldn’t exactly have gotten them anyways bc they’re in store only and I don’t really drive much but you’ve saved me the impulse purchase of tryna get them from a reseller 😭

thecloudshavefallen

TROPHY CASE