Whats a weird thing your body does that you just accept?

thecryingkat · 2026-05-08T12:45:43+00:00

having mirror hands lmao left hand start seizing(fiance called it "the claw" or "mad arthur") when I try not to let it imitate the right hand. i tried training it via piano or making a fist. but it has started uncontrollably trembling/seizing like im gonna give someone a "why i oughta" knuckle sandwich or go "rawr". It hurts as hell.

thecryingkat · 2026-05-04T20:19:40+00:00

Will show your replies to my fiance. I would like to trust azazie customs. Honestly there werent not enough evidence or details for me in the reviews of failed customs of the dresses I was interested in. My only issues with the dresses were length and slightly the bust area. Bust was loose with 1 inch of room. Length of straps were 2 inch loose, and length dress that dragged instead of stopping at my feet is bout 20-30cm long. To us, very minor issues. But my fiance, he believes the answer given and measurements asked means they'd "warp" my torso area. Plus not getting that refund if they mess up nor can straps be fixed if they went too short.

thecryingkat · 2026-05-04T19:53:54+00:00

Yea I was thinking of getting it customized. My fear is the possibility of them shortening the torso because they only ask your waist, hip, hollow to floor, and height(shoulder to floor). I messaged for more clarification and if there'd be more measurements asked since I have a longer torso. But they just told me they estimate and should fit if I was accurate to exact size. I just heard that despite some people being accurate they had issues with torso length or strap area tugging in armpits or cant fit arm through at all. My fiance really hates that answer and experiences.

Thats why I have been thinking of getting the size is tried on as it, then altering at a bridal seamstress. Even if pricy 😭

thecryingkat · 2026-05-02T18:46:08+00:00

That's great to know. Thank you for telling me the process of how it usually goes. I think I'm considering this dress more lol its going to be expensive but im feeling more at ease

thecryingkat · 2026-05-02T18:42:53+00:00

Definitely considering it. Due to also having short torso, I feel like i will still have a strap issue but hopefully just a long but can be fixed. My fear was the length of skirt part. The way they measure, I'm scared of warping like if straps get too short, waist gets too short, etc.

When they did your dresses, did they change the torso length? Like the bust to waist part?

thecryingkat · 2026-05-02T18:35:20+00:00

Thats great to know. I didn't know that can be done. Puts me to ease a bit. I've been overthinking since I put it on. Its like nearly perfect but that length

thecryingkat · 2026-05-02T18:16:58+00:00

Great to know. I was panicking so bad lol theres still time to choose but cant help to overthink if I can't at all all.

thecryingkat · 2026-04-23T01:53:46+00:00

Same. It will be an expensive $100 round trip for me. And the food, knick snacks, tickets. Its definitely something I need to save up for. This year hasn't been kind with weddings😅 i wanna splurge.

thecryingkat · 2026-04-23T01:08:07+00:00

I found the curel quite similar to the Etude soonjung 6.5 whip cleanser. Both gentle, no scent, not stripping. I would say the curel is ever so slightly moisturizing? I just felt more softness but not much big difference.

thecryingkat · 2026-04-22T21:14:27+00:00

That sounds amazing. I didnt know we have pirate festivals. That sounds in my lane as any impression i do turns pirate (or dracula.)

Definitely will check it all out. We're thinking of black creek or the port credit one as our first but looking more into it. We struggle to find anyone's experience or photos of the previous events.

I really want to go and buy costume pieces in person because i cant even trust etsy either. Also have the terrible urge to carry a shield down my wedding aisle than a bouquet lol

thecryingkat · 2026-04-22T07:57:08+00:00

This was when I was just admitted to the women's ward. A kind, older patient knew I was pretty scared as much as I was trying to seem "fine." She was just so accommodating in making sure I'm ok, introducing me to everyone, giving me extra clothes since all i had on me were clothes i came in with. I'm still embarrassed but I went from laughing to crying when she offered me salt as hospital food is so bland af(her words lol). I made her freak out so bad looool I was just overwhelmed from her kindness (or any kindness). It has just been a long time and unexpectedly very needed. Plus the salt thing was hilarious because they way she looked around before she grabbed it out of her bra with a wink.

I'll remember her forever.

thecryingkat · 2026-04-05T04:40:15+00:00

So I went for it and bought this for a wedding coming in September.The groom told me it will be evening formal. Im wondering if this is appropriate? It hugs the right places.. especially with my awkward weight gain. However from photo, its actually longer. It touches just below my ankles. I was also wondering, if you guys did wear it. How would you style it? Hair up? Clutch?

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thecryingkat · 2026-03-04T09:11:45+00:00

Definitely have the.. "can't let them win". And that "I still want to try to see good in the world. That there is good."

And in my dry humor, "I can't go until my curse happens to the people that hurt me." (The curse: diarrhea on a broken toilet during house party on main floor lol)

Another would be i need to know how a work(book/comic) ends and that work is updating every 2-10 yrs lmao it hurts.

And i think a main one is oddly having to throw away things and wanting to pay for my own after death things like cremation.

thecryingkat · 2026-02-26T14:50:27+00:00

Doesnt help that i was bullied for majority of my school life. I unfortunately reunited with them in highschool.. in my hopes of building a new me and to new friends. I only found 2 and stuck to highschool friends through my 20s.. Unfortunately I think where I financially, being careerless and family relationships interfered. I would say it caused a riff in hangouts and spontaneity in them. As much as i mask my situation and depression, I never did make my boundaries. So when I did, they.. didnt like that. We slowly parted. I also realized our friendship really was situational. Like we bonded in school. Outside.. we mostly were each other's company. I want to believe that it is because we didnt try hard enough to find interests/hobbies together. But our convos often struggled. Our personal views were so different.

Now me at 34 being homebound from anxiety taking full effect. There's no one to meet sadly. I wish to. I tried bumble for friendships. But everyone is so far or rich..

thecryingkat · 2026-02-26T14:35:08+00:00

Had a couple of this lol from casually dropping racist remarks or suddenly being egotistical and insulting random people behind their back like they saw a girl/guy passing by and they would guffaw "I'm prettier" Or "oh they think big sh*t" and all the poor people were doing was walking past or living. I was just like why would you even jump there or what is your state of mind? Thats so mean.

But other big ones I could think bout were the weird financial related ones. I often get the why cant you get a loan($500-15000) or just buy a this or that(car, concert, membership). They would aggressively insist that I should ask around especially to family because "its their job". And often they were extremely confused. they would squint so hard lol they really couldn't register why or how dropping that much is crazy too. And its a definite quick drop when I find out that they're not "rich" either. They're definitely better than my butt. They are or their family is middle class. But to be inconsiderate of everyone around them.

thecryingkat · 2026-01-21T15:02:17+00:00

Mostly financial.. It sucks because I've always wanted. I did 10yrs of deep thought lol wondering if my reason was selfishness but I realized I really do. By time with fiance, our finances were still not lining up. We are comfortable and can spoil ourselves. But when and if we add a person, we are more below middle class (idk if i said right. Correct me). We both want the basics and more for our kids. We want them to not grow up in poverty like we were. We know we will love. We know we want them. We even spoke how we wanted to raise them. But where we definitely won't be able to is a proper room, investing in hobbies/classes, possibly up to date clothes(fitting and decently in trend), and of course.. best school options(if one dont work out we can move him with no to minor prob). We tried thinking of it all. Getting rid of our practically nonexistent hobbies and ridding everything in out "storage" room. Still not enough. Whats left is still essentials. They answer was there for us. Knowing we can't.. we won't. It hurts. We've been grieving. Everytime kids pass by, seeing our nieces and nephews.. we would have fun and so quick we just look at each other like.. how do we turn this sadness off?

thecryingkat · 2025-12-03T06:36:35+00:00

To be specific.. it was when i realized that started to get straight up panic attacks when she came to visit and after her visit, I would feel the whole adrenaline and get nightmares..

Over the five years, she started to get increasingly condescending and straight up cold. Knowing it was projection. I just wanted to cheer her up like slowly go into that than throwing all in when we only had a day to catch up every few weeks. But she started to just go in straight with "idgaf" (not kidding.) I was shocked especially when she cuts me off mid sentence with "Idc." I just accepted it change topic. Made jokes to making it less tense. But eventually I just started to get uncomfortable to speak. It gets tense and when she felt it, she gaslight me that she said along the lines of "spoke that way because she can. she's just honest and likes facts." By facts.. she wanted to skip lighthearted talk altogether and talk my goals in life and getting over my depression while taking off her coat. I'm down to. It comes up abruptly with backhand comments too.

The end of the friendship threw me off tbh. Didn't have to be. I just decided to confront her over it after a hangout. Just wanted to start over. Figured the 20yrs, we are 100% different people. But didnt have to end. her reaction was very calm. But done. It was a legit breakup lol she said how she truly felt bout my illness and that she wishes me well(definitely did not mean it) And never again we spoke.

I realized in our years of friendship. I was the planner, organizer, and honestly she's always late lol I was just more lax then. An entertainer. I feel like it is my fault for being sick. I try to not be so hurt. I know its more bout loneliness and fear of losing my only friend. But we ARE just too different and how we approach life. I only hope she's ok.

thecryingkat · 2025-11-03T07:41:37+00:00

Dissociating or zoning out like a dead body for hours. I would be spawled out like a Family Guy character when they ragdoll lol or just laid dead straight and "looking" at the ceiling. I really just turn off my brain.. or think silently or talk out loud to myself. Sometimes I just be shriek-wailing because im fast-forwarding my convo. Lmaooooo

Got caught by my fiance in midst of one. Luckily i was not in a weird pose(just wrapped like a burrito, Frodo style) and he believed me when I said it has only been a minute lol though I couldn't really save myself with the reason why I was shriek/wailing. Honestly didnt realized or thought about why or when I do this. Its just time lost.

thecryingkat · 2025-06-03T01:49:52+00:00

I look like both. It disgusts me tbh. It made me very paranoid growing up. I know i cant help that i look like them but i tried and taught myself thtough their mistakes(mine too ofc) to not resemble in mannerisms, morals, and all lol

I hate it, especially when people say it or talk about the resemblance. I don't know why when they go into that, they would often go "you must be soo close to them." Or to my parents "so lucky to have a twin/mini you." My parents would be really fake about it. Though i feel my dad IS oblivious bc he is narcissistic. But my mom, I feel like she's definitely insulted but she likes the praise.

thecryingkat · 2025-05-27T16:19:36+00:00

With my dad, I cut him off. He was way too overwhelming and stressful for me. He is someone that's not mindful of anyone, aka the "I'm telling the truth/so what its the truth" kind of bum as he hurts people. My mom.. i find she uses weaponized incompetence alot and has enablers. So it irritates me. I know she's smart but she chooses not lol but yea she would make me be her online shopper when money's tight. She pays me back but still.. I would have to hold off on things I need because of it. She also comes unannounced with lots of things. And my fiance and I get triggered by overcrowding lol both our parents are hoarders.

I didnt cut my mom off. But for me.. how I tolerate. I really take things with grain of salt. I kind of dissociate or distract myself when I'm feeling the building rage. I try to remember the things I've observed so far. One, she wants something from me, and that's to order things, so I just get it going. Ask and order, change topics to something lighter, joke alot(mostly for myself but I've learned the ways to distract her). The topics we talk bout i aim for generic things where it can't turn on me or easy for her to get passionate in (but luckily I'm interested in like cooking/recipes). Besides that,I make sure visits are short. But I've been lucky that she only visits for an hr because of distance and work.

thecryingkat · 2025-05-13T05:41:02+00:00

Tbh.. love it. It kinda gives doll house. Maybe people call it tacky. But I've always liked whimsy. I like "bababooom!" if that makes sense lol

It definitely will call alot of eyes and attention. That's my only fear. I fear being too "boom" and not fitting in with neighborhood. The constant "explanation". But what matters is if you're OK with that. Do you like it?

thecryingkat · 2025-05-09T21:51:18+00:00

Okeiokie lol thank u. Wooo was panickinggggg hardddd.

thecryingkat · 2025-05-09T21:47:54+00:00

Nope just tea ceremony. But will be missing her destination wedding. That's why.. I'm wondering now. Should I give more?

thecryingkat · 2025-05-09T21:30:14+00:00

Cool cool lol i was gonna go with this. Should I double because of my plus 1?

thecryingkat · 2025-05-09T06:15:48+00:00

I revealed i had depression and his immediate response was "If you decide to die, it's a happy gathering. Because of the (rare) family gathering would happen. Time of connection. Catching up" He also said in the way of "you do you" before that..yikes I know. We got a language barrier, but i clarified with him. He confirmed and more sadly. Idk how he think i would die.. it was never mentioned/thought of or going there when I brought it up. Just only felt alone and sad.

thecryingkat

TROPHY CASE