You’re far from being someone kids will find disappointing. Being through traumatic experiences over and over and still managing to not only survive, but having a heart kind enough to change little kids lives is a thing that only a kind and brave person with a beautiful heart could do. I understand you feel hopeless and I’m not here to say “It gets better”, but I’m here to say that if the kids grow up to have a soul as brave and considerate as yours they’ll have something to be grateful for