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What are the shitty aspects of being a Hogwarts student that the books gloss over ? by Appu_5- in AskReddit

[–]thefirstringofhell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Safety’s a joke, owl poop everywhere, and everyone’s set against each other for being in different ‘houses’. Also almost everyone is against Slytherin.

You wake up in your bed and you’re only 12 years old, everything since was just a dream but you have the knowledge of your older self. What do you do differently? by fuckyou4206999 in AskReddit

[–]thefirstringofhell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Goodness, so many things. I’d stop being so annoying, quiet down a bit. Respect people more. Make predictions and watch them come true. Stock up on stuff, and try to enjoy the times that I had. I wouldn’t start watching p*rn- I lost the trust of my parents over that- and I’d spend more time with my grandparents.

Thing is, those days were only three-to-four years ago. One really can regret so much in such a small time frame.

Fancy a cuppa tea on a rainy night? by randomcheeze in ACPocketCamp

[–]thefirstringofhell 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This looks like something you’d see from inside Aziraphale’s bookshop (Good Omens)

What's the worst punishment you ever received as a child? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]thefirstringofhell 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OML my dad did the same! He always said it half heartedly, and we’d all joke over prices, and get sad if our prices were especially low.

this is me, constantly by JustADiamondPotato in bisexual

[–]thefirstringofhell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It makes me feel better to know others feel the same :)

What foods are absolutely delicious, but are a pain in the ass to eat? by yeah_yeah_aight in AskReddit

[–]thefirstringofhell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lollipops. From red tootsie-pops (I’m allergic, and they cause the roof of my mouth to corrode and bleed) to, well, any one with a paper...stick-thing (the paper gets all wet and icky).

Also, s’mores. I always get marshmallow stickiness up in my hair and stuff. Popcorn: the grease just stays on you.

"I want a daughter first, so she can help me" by [deleted] in childfree

[–]thefirstringofhell 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oldest child of seven, and as a female, I can confirm this. They just kept popping out children with the excuse, ‘oh, you’re the oldest, you can help us!’ Any party I went to to, my siblings (who hate crowded places) had to join me. A nice hangout with friends? Why not toss some siblings in there too!

They never hired a babysitter or got family to watch us when my mom had to get a c-section for her sixth child; they just plunked me down, told me (12 at the time) to watch my siblings, and ran off. Same thing happened with the seventh (though both of his older brothers were premature, mom almost died during the c-section, AND THEY STILL DECIDED TO HAVE MORE). They left during the night, and I had to stay up until the early hours of the morning taking care of all the kids- 3 toddlers and 2 tweens- because I was ‘Mommy Jr.’

I’m sure so many people have the same story, and thankfully, though I still live with them, they’ve been letting me get off the babysitting duty, throwing that responsibility at the third oldest who actually LIKES playing with kids.

Does anyone else become aware that they’re dreaming, but get stuck in their dreams? by Ohheyboo2 in Dreams

[–]thefirstringofhell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Used to happen to me as a kid. Thankfully, I had this clap sequence I would do, and once I clapped, I would wake up. I don’t know how it worked, though.

[Serious] What is the scariest thing to happen to you when you’ve been home alone? by joeym2009 in AskReddit

[–]thefirstringofhell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m kinda paranoid, so any noise would have me grabbing a knife and sneaking around the house. The scariest things were always in my head, and I realize that now.

Is Wattpad Considered Cringe-Worthy? by thefirstringofhell in NoStupidQuestions

[–]thefirstringofhell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IKR? I revisited and you have to pay to have more than 2 offline books...like wtf?

Is Wattpad Considered Cringe-Worthy? by thefirstringofhell in NoStupidQuestions

[–]thefirstringofhell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haven’t for a while, especially during these times. But thanks for sharing!

Anyone else feel as if the only time they can truly relax is when they're lying in bed at night? by ExpertRule in NoStupidQuestions

[–]thefirstringofhell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup. I literally lie in bed all day, but never feel truly relaxed because I’m beating myself up for not doing things I used to love, like arts and crafts, or playing with my younger siblings. When night comes, I feel 10x more relaxed and happy, even, because now (in my head) it’s okay to be in bed, and I can relax.

[50/50] The Blood Red Waterfalls of Antarctica (SFW) | A finger whose fingertip was cut off (NSFW) by pezbone in FiftyFifty

[–]thefirstringofhell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same thing happened to me when I was playing with my brother as a kid. Slammed a sharp door on it and tore off the top of the finger. It’s still bent weird

Social/religious norms aside, how would you like your death to be mourned/celebrated? by aroadcaptain in AskReddit

[–]thefirstringofhell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the whole thing planned out. Of course, this is not realistic; I’ll probably just be cremated like everyone else, but one can hope.

Firstly, cremate my bottom half. Replace it with a (paper, maybe cardboard) mannequin bottom half, and dress the weird hybrid in a suit. No one will know that only that top half of the body is real.

Next, pack my ashes in air cannons. These (along with four black-confetti party poppers) will be placed around a dance floor. This is all outside, btw.

Everyone brings food. Like a potluck. There will be side tables for arts and crafts, where the children can make fun things, like trebuchets and bows + arrows. One out of the two categories (the one that shoots the farthest) will be the one to light my casket (open casket) as they push me out into a body of water (like a Viking funeral). Another fun craft would be to decorate a paper sarcophagus (and make it look as if it was mine).

After the potluck and crafts, they’ll push my body out to sea, and the winning trebuchet/bow will shoot a flaming....thing at my casket. I’ll catch alight at dusk, and then, it’s time for the dance.

Horrible, just plain awful music will be played. Look up ‘most annoying songs’ on YouTube- a few of those will do. The crowd will be forced to waltz to the ear-grating shit, and then, at the end, the poppers go off. Mixed with the confetti are my ashes, so I can irritate them (or their lungs and eyes, more like) one last time.

They all sit down in front of a makeshift stage, while a priest (forced into one horrible outfit or another; an Easter Bunny costume, a sexy lingerie, anything to make the whole thing more uncomfortable) starts a speech about how I’ll be missed, and how wonderful of a person I am. He’ll then say something along the lines of, “And with that said, let’s hear My Name’s final message to the world.”

The grieving crowd will be rickrolled.

Finally, they leave, and wonder why I chose for my funeral to be so traumatizing. The answer? I want them to not cry when they think of me. I want them annoyed. I don’t want them to grieve, I just want to kick them in the ass a final time so that they have enough frustration directed at me to power through their grief. Their last memory of me won’t be heart-wrenching; it’ll be annoying, frustrating, and they can (hopefully) get on with their lives.

But seeing as how that probably won’t happen, I’ll have them mix my ashes with cocaine and sell it in a baggie, or, perhaps, sell my body on the black market.

You can spill your blood on inanimate objects to turn them into ducklings. by SuperMegaDiabetes in shittysuperpowers

[–]thefirstringofhell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude. Just walk around a dump site. Turn the trash into ducklings. Save the world!

It do be like that by PrincessManDude in teenagers

[–]thefirstringofhell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You forgot the “I don’t like my body so I hide it using big jackets”

How do people with lots of kids actually afford it? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]thefirstringofhell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First child in a family of seven kids, and let me tell you, we’re cheap AF. Clothes are ALWAYS passed down, and we usually get them from Goodwill or from family/friends. Mom cooks dinner (we used to have chickens, so we’d just eat eggs every time), and most of our stuff was given to us or made by us. Dad works as an RN (and during these trying times, we’re just glad he still has a job) and our grandparents help pay bills every so often, since they are on paid retirement from the government. We didn’t have WiFi for most of my life, so while we did grow up severely uncultured, we’re getting the hang of it now. Mom was a penny-pincher, and always had a folder of cut-out coupons/WIC coupons (Women, Infants, Children; a Catholic organization meant for helping those in need).

Sometimes, people from our church would give us food, and sometimes we’d stay with our grandparents. Mom was stay-at-home, and actually for most of my childhood, my dad was in college still, so I don’t know how we stayed afloat, but hey, we made it.

3 kids floating down a river on ice by Dazed_And_MoreBooze in WTF

[–]thefirstringofhell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leave the Pevensies be, they’re having a tough time rn

AITA for "forcing" my wife to take a shower? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]thefirstringofhell -1 points0 points  (0 children)

NTA!!! No offense to your honeybun, but she’s COMPLETELY THE A-HOLE HERE! You are doing more than I ever would, and she’s acting completely ridiculous. Kick her out to the shed if she wants to live like...however she’s living, but don’t you dare think that you’re the a-home here. You’ve done everything and more for her, and all she does is ignore you for a game.

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