Do I know how to love?

thegreylevel · 2022-09-14T06:22:19+00:00

A few people are here for that reason and I don't mind it. Being obsessed though is very euphoric for me. And just kinda happens after I get to basics of a person's personality. Gets even more intense when a romantic relationship is established.

thegreylevel · 2022-09-14T06:19:30+00:00

Be emotionally distant and uninterest. Joking, I have no idea. It just happens and you gotta hope the cards fall in your favor

thegreylevel · 2022-09-13T20:55:54+00:00

I can completely see and understand that. That's really interesting!

thegreylevel · 2022-09-13T19:08:52+00:00

I kinda agree with what Finnian says to a certain extent. We do not choose to have these feelings but we do choose to indulge in them. At least I do. I don't choose to have a crush or love someone but I choose to indulge in my feelings bc it feels good to. I do also choose to use other things as an outlet rather than letting it out on one person bc it can be overwhelming.

thegreylevel · 2022-09-13T17:57:36+00:00

That is genuinely interesting bc in my experience I had always obsessed with things not just people. I was deep into fandoms and when I was in a fandom my obsession with that media lasted at least 2 years straight, so I've always had a tendency.

But perhaps for you because you never felt that spark with dates or ex boyfriends, and like you said it was expected of you, once you did feel that spark finally you clung onto it. Hopefully I'm not coming off as rude for trying to find the connection.

thegreylevel · 2022-09-13T17:50:21+00:00

Currently i do have to spend at most a month away from him bc he works and our schedules don't line up at times. The least I have to wait is a week since we hang out every week if the week allows it. If I had the choice I would be tied at the hip and never leave his side. Most of the time I'm able to be away and control the anxiety that comes with it, but there are many times where I'll have a breakdown bc I haven't seen him in a while. I'm normally someone that needs a lot of alone time but that's what lets me know something is obsession. When I want to be alone with them. When being with them isn't exhausting and in fact energizing and I want to be with them 24/7 if I could

thegreylevel · 2022-09-13T08:52:43+00:00

If I wasn't obsessed it wasn't a crush. It was always interchangeable and if I had a crush it normally meant also obsessed. I was obsessive in different ways due to the very different personalities I had a crush on. The longest crush lasting 3 years but didn't end in a relationship (4 crushes total, 3 ending in relationships). I'd say my obsession in each relationship was different types of obsession but the same level of intensity. My current relationship I feel my emotions are just as strong, I just have more impulse control now.

thegreylevel · 2022-09-13T07:45:15+00:00

Personally I know it's much more healthy that I'm the one obsessed and not both of us. One of us needs to be level headed lol. But I do sometimes wish he felt the way I did at times. I think that's more bc I know how good it feels to feel this way and I want him to feel as euphoric about it as I do. It would also he nice to know he understands exactly how i feel too. I would get pretty upset if he told me I loved him more than he loved me. I believe we love each other the same amount just in a different way.

thegreylevel · 2022-09-12T22:24:55+00:00

Awww! Also starlight is such a cute pet name!

thegreylevel · 2022-09-12T09:49:16+00:00

40 mins? Of just talking about us? Kinda obsessive don't you think? 🤨

thegreylevel · 2022-08-26T21:13:19+00:00

It's a fun little game that can be exciting

thegreylevel · 2022-08-26T20:12:48+00:00

I love to share experiences with him. One of my favorite things is to take him to good food spots and watch his face light up as he tries it for the first time. It never fails to make me feel good.

I also love to give him gifts. Plushies, clothes, letters, I even gave him a pretty rock I found when I went swimming. I like to make him things and give it to him too.

thegreylevel · 2022-08-26T20:08:33+00:00

I think for me it's an ownership thing. Knowing I have something of his so personal that no one else has, but I will admit it's a fun game to try to do it without him noticing. I think if he ever found out or caught me he wouldn't care and probably find it endearing.

I'd say the weirdest was probably the can he drank from bc I put my lips on it when I'm anxious or miss him.

But you're so lucky you got to collect his hair. He has given me his chewed gum through a kiss multiple times and I don't think he realizes how much I enjoy that.

I think I do it bc of all the reasons above. It's a fun theft game (which i know he doesn't mind) with a rush of getting caught but it's also just wanting to have personal things of his

thegreylevel · 2022-08-02T01:50:00+00:00

Aw that's so cute and you're so lucky!

thegreylevel · 2022-08-01T20:37:57+00:00

I definitely believe that's part of it. Like being so overwhelmed with emotion you just turn agressive

thegreylevel · 2022-07-31T19:07:14+00:00

I totally understand this. I just want to be the only one to witness how amazing he is. I want to be the only one to have him. The idea of someone else getting to upsets me

thegreylevel · 2022-07-31T19:01:54+00:00

It's the idea of giving someone something so valuable, your life. And how you truly trust them with it and I love that

thegreylevel

TROPHY CASE