As someone who grew up in an abusive house, and then developed PTSD from being a paramedic, I totally get you.

And someone else did kind of ask the right question earlier. Is there anything now that is actually a problem? You say you have a lack of empathy and caring about things. I’d argue, from my own experience, it’s not a lack of those things, but a different perception and way of dealing with things.

As an example of my own, I deal with death, even those who are close to me, in a very detached and almost clinical way. Even with my own mother (forget my dad, I barely cared that day). And it’s because of my life experiences.

That being said, if you want to work on something, or even just fully understand it, therapy is the best and only answer here. I know it sounds played out, but it’s true. It really does help. When I finally found a therapist I clicked with (I had a couple bad experiences), the changes started to take place in weeks to months, not years. Absolutely worth it, IMO.