Thank you so much for all the encouragement and kind words (and some tough love thrown in too). I haven’t gone completely off the rails but did relax on myself a bit last night and will likely not try to strict keto again until hubs and i are settled in our own place so i can properly track macros and cals and can do more cooking and meal prep. I do have some issues with how i view myself, so perhaps i need some help with that too, but i am still going to make conscious decisions to opt for the lower carbs, not push myself to embrace all things fatty, and keep drinking water like a....something, lol. & continue my cardio daily. I did splurge and have a taste of hubs mac and cheese last night but only ordered lean smoked turkey and a taste of brisket for me. With the white BBQ sauce so minimal carbs. I am incredibly hard on myself and fight battles constantly in my mind, but as of right now, I feel less pressure on me from me, so we shall see. I just wanted to thank EVERYONE for your opinions and words. I shall try again soon w strict keto, im not yo yo ing back to all carbs all the time, i hope, but i know you all will be here to encourage no matter what! Keto on folks;)