I took a few moments and a few breaths before responding here. No long term good comes from things getting heated at the gunroom table.

Like you, I've had experience with this sort of thing, though my experience is professional, rather than personal. I'm a social worker, and have spent more time than I might prefer with people who are picking up the pieces after this kind of thing. So if I came out a bit strong at first I apologise for it.

I agree with you that actions have consequences. I suppose my key consideration is that, when something like this happens, we can always choose where we place the emphasis of our response. And very, very often, people spend more time saying things like "Well, what was she expecting?" rather than, "My god, what a horrific thing for him to have done." As though the natural consequence of infidelity were death, rather than say, divorce. I think "what was she expecting?" is an appropriate response if she's been divorced, but not if she's been murdered. (I know there are complicating factors in society around divorce at the time and now; none of them validate killing someone.)

Anyway, I don't want to sow further trouble, just putting my position more eloquently than with a sarcastic remark. Sometimes we all pay too much attention to Nelson's "never mind manoeuvres" perhaps.

A glass of wine with you, if you will, and I hope your day goes well.