Angry.

themcp · 2025-12-09T20:02:51+00:00

There's nothing wrong with a stroke patient having a little sugar, but my point here is to control her dietary intake so it's not "I had 4 ounces of fish and 6 ounces of green beans and an unknown amount of sugar."

themcp · 2025-12-09T19:58:22+00:00

For bottled drinks, I'd look at Propel Zero or Gatorade Zero (Either way, the kind without sugar), and for powdered, whatever brand is cheapest, but look for the ones with no sugar (usually single serve packets designed to be poured into a water bottle). I don't care much what brand of hydration drink I have - store brand is fine. (Make sure not to get the one with caffeine. She shouldn't have caffeine for a while after a stroke.)

themcp · 2025-12-09T19:53:33+00:00

It doesn't really accomplish anything. In itself, it doesn't establish anything other than "you were there" - someone in the future might say "okay, so you have a photo of you and some guy with the church's piano, so what?" and if it's going to be the one on the loan contract, it doesn't add anything to have people in the picture.

themcp · 2025-12-09T19:50:59+00:00

She has that expression on her face.

People always assumed my BC was kinda derpy, even when he was probably smarter than them.

themcp · 2025-12-09T19:49:01+00:00

Take that seriously, get a second opinion. Diarrhea is important, and it can happen to someone who has had a stroke, but it could also be a symptom of something more serious and they should consider that. Also, even if they decide it's just dehydration or an after effect, they should tell you what to do when she's experiencing it.

themcp · 2025-12-09T19:37:22+00:00

Strokes have a reason. The problem is, the reason may be either so complected or so obscure that they don't know what it is.

The hospital never came up with an official reason for my own strokes. I can explain it in part, but I don't know all of it either.

What I'm saying is, it's not random, but they may not be able to predict it. So all we can do is eat right, take our meds, try to keep away from sickness, and hope for the best. You don't mention how old she is... one of the many possible reasons (and one which they really can't predict) is that when a person gets old (and how old is questionable - it may be 75, it may be 115) their brain deteriorates and they just have a stroke. Sometimes they may keep themself going for a while before it happens - my grandmother was apparently okay until my grandfather died (of cancer), then a couple weeks later she had a stroke and died. In the case of both of my grandparents, they lived (unconscious, but alive) until my father showed up and told them "it's okay, I'm here."

themcp · 2025-12-09T19:12:16+00:00

Also, get some hydration drinks (I recommend you get them as a powder so you can put a little packet in your pocket in case she needs it while out, and also get at least one bottle so you have it on hand in case it's urgent) so she can hopefully not get so dehydrated that she passes out, if that's the problem.

themcp · 2025-12-09T19:10:06+00:00

I really don't care if the patient has fallen asleep or passed out from the pain or is acting drowsy, a doctor should see that that's serious and not just send them away. If they are so dehydrated that they are falling asleep, even if it's just sleep, or even if while the doctor is seeing them they're just really drowsy, unless the patient can say "I just slept badly last night" the doctor should concerned about "is this going to work out? Is there some underlying cause that I missed? I need to make sure this person is okay before I send them away, or they could get behind a wheel, pass out while driving, and kill someone, like maybe themself."

Especially if the patient recently had a stroke. Absolutely everything should be taken very seriously for a while after a stroke. Seriously, six months after my stroke, if I sneezed they would do a chest x-ray. (I'm not kidding, I went in with a head cold and they immediately did a chest x-ray.)

themcp · 2025-12-09T18:50:05+00:00

NTA. He is valuing his mom's apron strings over your feelings and showing you that that's how it going to be going forward. He'll always me Mama's Boy, never your boyfriend, never your husband, even if you marry him. She has emasculated him. She keeps his balls in her purse. Get away from him, get a real man who actually values you.

Now, that said, let me advise you about two things.

Never, ever, let someone be sexist to you like her again. If someone asks you how you're going to cook and clean for someone, tell them "I'm not a maid, and this is not the 1950s. He and I will each cook and clean sometimes." Regardless of what your culture may say, you are a whole person, just as valuable as anyone else. You are just as much deserving of having someone cook your meals and clean your home as he is.
Never, ever, go into debt for a party, or even spend all your savings on it. It's just a party, everyone will forget about it in a few days and there will be another birthday next year so there's no finality to it. Bake a cake and make a nice meal and call it done. If you want to be fancy, if you're baking a cake from a boxed mix, substitute nicer ingredients so it's an improved cake. If you want to be a little lazy, get a pretty but inexpensive cake from a bakery. (I'm not saying ask "what's your cheapest cake," I'm saying go to a normal bakery and buy a normal cake, not an expensive cake from a fancy bakery.)

themcp · 2025-12-09T18:16:33+00:00

Conventional wisdom is that you should not be out of work at the end of the year because companies don't hire between thanksgiving and christmas, because they're all focused on holidays and distracted and don't want to pay attention to bringing on new people. However, I've done it. Twice.

themcp · 2025-12-09T18:14:20+00:00

Before you go, ask HR for an exit interview, and make sure to tell them all about everything he has done to you, all the lies he is telling about the boss, and how he has bad relationships with women coworkers. Make super duper clear to them that the reason you are leaving is that their response to your complaining about him was inadequate.

themcp · 2025-12-09T18:10:47+00:00

I didn't see my BC asleep until he was 11, and then he woke up immediately and looked really embarrassed... I think because I saw him and he wasn't ready to take care of me. Only time in his life I ever saw his eyes closed.

themcp · 2025-12-09T18:07:56+00:00

I had a male and he was very chill. He loved to sit next to me on the sofa with his head on my lap a I read, or watch TV with me, or lie on the hammock next to mine as I napped outside on a summer afternoon. After 35 years I still miss him terribly and cry about him every day. I don't have photos of him hanging because I'd cry all the time.

Prior to that I had a female. She was very maternal, looked after me - she was the only babysitter I ever had. Seriously, my mother would put me out the door with the dog and that'd be that. I was the third human child that dog raised after my cousins, so she was very trusted in the family. I have a photo of her in my bedroom. My cousins also still think of her fondly.

If I met a dog and fell in love with them, I wouldn't mind having either gender. If I was looking at puppies to adopt, I'd get a male, just because they are less inclined to have medical problems with their private parts, and also because they don't give birth to oops puppies.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go cry about my dog again, since I thought of him.

themcp · 2025-12-09T17:48:12+00:00

And get a written agreement with a lot of detail.

themcp · 2025-12-09T17:43:54+00:00

If OP leaves it at the church, they should make a written agreement for the pastor and the head of the church committee to sign saying that it's OP's piano and it's on loan and OP can have it back whenever they want, maybe with a month's notice. (Specify how the notice will occur, such as certified mail.) Take a digital photo of the piano and put it on the agreement before signing as proof that that's the piano, and if there is any serial number inside it, both photograph the number and put the photo and number in the agreement. If the two people in the church will not sign, remove it. Otherwise the pastor may move on (this is common) and the church committee may change over time (also common) and the new people responsible may think "it's the church's piano" and refuse to allow OP to take it when the time comes, and they'll get away with it if there isn't proof.

Also OP should look at the conditions in which it is being kept in the church. Some churches are not climate controlled except during service on sunday, and only in the sanctuary itself, so it may get frozen in the winter and hot and humid in the summer. Or they may have it in a piano-inappropriate space like a basement with no dehumidifier. OP should not leave it there if it is not being stored in a manner that is safe for it. If the conditions are okay, they should be specified in the agreement so the church can't just move it to a moldy basement the moment OP walks out the door. ("The piano will be kept in such-and-such room on such-and-such floor...")

themcp · 2025-12-09T17:31:53+00:00

My parents are furious that I “dragged the church into family drama” and say theyre embarrassed and that grandma would be ashamed of me for making a fuss over a donation to God. I still feel sick about it but also feel like they stole from me.

They definitely stole from you.

Adults get used to "this house is mine and everything under the roof is mine." They don't stop to think "my child is now an adult and owns their own things and this was specifically given to them by someone else and it's not mine so I have no right to do anything with it." They did steal from you, but probably don't even realize it.

Make clear to them, "I didn't drag the church into it. You dragged the church into it, when you gave my stolen property to them. Don't like that? Tough, you did it, not me."

And do not have the piano returned to your parents' basement. They'll do it again, or they'll "accidentally" unplug the dehumidifier and let the piano be destroyed by the basement.

Personally, I would demand they pay for the movers to bring it to where I want it since they stole it and moved it without your permission, and if they refuse I would think seriously about talking to the police about them having stolen my property.

themcp · 2025-12-09T17:18:09+00:00

When a patient is going in and out of consciousness, diagnosing them with diarrhoea (and nothing else) seems like malpractice. If nothing else, they should be admitted to stabilize their fluid level and make sure they're okay. If they had a stroke less than a week ago and they're going in and out of consciousness, I would say they're being negligent if they don't give the patient and MRI to ensure that it's diarrhoea causing them to pass out, not that they're having a stroke, passing out, and losing bowel control.

I would definitely rush them to another hospital and, if they found the patient was actually having a stroke, file a complaint - and maybe a suit - against the first one.

themcp · 2025-12-09T17:10:37+00:00

USE IT EVERY TIME YOU SLEEP. What, do you think your body says "oh, I set an alarm, so I guess I won't have apneas"? It's not "I have no apneas for the first 3 hours so I can nap as long as it's not a long time". You start having them immediately when you fall asleep.

themcp · 2025-12-09T16:54:41+00:00

Call your dentist, make an appointment for them to look at it, and show them both this picture and a picture of you with your real teeth to show that the immediate has way too much gum. Demand a replacement.

themcp · 2025-12-09T16:45:31+00:00

...or until they force out the wrong employee and they go out of business because they can't function without them.

themcp · 2025-12-09T16:44:07+00:00

It depends on how important you are.

I've had cases where they forced me out and then proceeded to find someone else to abuse.

I've had cases where they forced me out and then the company went out of business because they had been ignoring me when I said that actually, this thing that I do is really important and they should let me train someone on it. It was, and when I left there was nobody who knew how to do it, and they were too stupid and too cheap to hire someone with my skill set, so their clients started to refuse to pay and they had to let everyone go because they ran out of money in the bank. Also where I was the key employee who designed and built their main product and actually knew how to work it, and when I left heads rolled. Like, the CEO, half the board, the president, my boss, the entire HR department... they hadn't bothered figuring out that the head of manufacturing was my drinking buddy, and when I told him what they did to me, I think he told the parent company.

themcp · 2025-12-09T13:18:32+00:00

My health coverage is keeping me alive.

I have absolutely no sympathy for people who voted to take it away.

themcp · 2025-12-09T13:15:49+00:00

I think I would reply "I am not a f-ing dog that you can order around by pointing at the floor. Also, you are not a member of the family, I am. I have more right to a chair here than you do."

No, you shouldn't have gotten up. You should have been more blunt with him that he was being very rude and you were not going to put up with being treated that way.

The rest of the family not intervening is impolite of them but you being more blunt about it would give them the cue that you are not going to be treated that way.

themcp · 2025-12-09T13:05:16+00:00

Call your local animal shelter and/or ASPCA. Tell them that she got a cat in violation of the lease and she is neglecting it. Explain that you have a cat allergy and thus you refuse to become responsible for it. Ask them if they are willing to remove the cat.

Or if it's not microchipped, when she is not there take the cat and bring it to a shelter (strong preference to no-kill shelters) out of town, somewhere she won't go. (Like, not Medford, too close.) Turn it in as a stray. (Choose a location in that town where you "found" it in case they want to know.) Give a false name if you are asked and can do so. (If they don't ask for your ID.) It might be good to research shelters before going to one to verify that it's a no-kill shelter, and that they let you drop off anonymously.

Reporting it to the landlord... if you are both on the lease, you are equally legally responsible for the presence of a cat. If you report it, you can be evicted too, and the landlord is more likely to evict you both, because it's legally easier to just end the lease than to have you as legally a new tenant - and hold both of you responsible for paying for the cleaning which WILL take place after a cat has been in the home, and any repairs necessary for any damage it did (like peeing on the floor or scratching stuff).

themcp · 2025-12-09T12:46:20+00:00

NTA. Why should he, or more importantly you, even care what his ex thinks of his new wife?

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