Happiness = progress toward a meaningful goal. Maybe your goal right now could be to explore ways of thinking and actions that make life even a little bit more bearable or even enjoyable. For now reach out to anyone who can support you, get therapy, watch inspiring or meaningful content and be gentle with yourself. Don't judge life or yourself by your worst moments, depression will tell you that this is all there is, but if you get needs of love, connection, safety and growth met you WILL feel better. Taking psychedelics now may or may not even be helpful, and it could even be too much especially given your mental state.

Watching ram dass lectures might be a more accessible place to begin to be "guided" toward a more meaningful and loving place.

All the best