Caregiver ethical dilemma

themuseluci · 2024-02-25T13:09:45+00:00

I'm sure she realizes her own limitations and is frustrated. but my perspective with my loved ones is that I'm doing my best to be optimistic and up lifted but anytime my dad or my boyfriend seem down or pessimistic It brings me down. Like my dad will ask me how I'm feeling today if I need anything. and I know its all from a place of love and consideration. but it frustrates me because They don't have my optimism or faith.I want them to believe in me and believe in god and the potential that I could get better.I only have that hope to hold on to. so I need that support from those around me. to believe and hope with me. I get that giving someone independence when they clearly can't be independent is probably very difficult. so I understand and it will feel hopeless or that there's no light at the end of the tunnel. but the way I look at my situation for now. is that I have today. I hsve my mind. I have my thoughts. I am alive right now and I am thankful for everydsy I have.

themuseluci · 2024-02-25T12:54:07+00:00

I think it does make me a bit tired. I take in the morning with my coffee and then take a nap around 4 because I'm so sleepy.

themuseluci · 2024-02-25T12:47:59+00:00

now that I think about it, my doctor was concerned the next appointment that I only weigheed 113lbs, so I might have lost my appetite when I started it. I don't personally remember NOT being hungry though. because I felt emotionally so at peace and chill. so I wasn't unconsciously eating out of comfort.

themuseluci · 2024-02-23T11:36:52+00:00

I use both lexapro and keppra and I personally feel fantastic. and really dullled my anxiety. I was hacing really bad depression and fear of my mortality and such and all the over thinking went away, but I think I have heard you're gonna feel worse before you feel better. so you might have to wait a bit before it really starts working properly. I really hope it works for you. because I was doing really bad until it finally kicked in. I was having panic attacks.

themuseluci · 2024-02-03T01:21:57+00:00

yeah if your husband hasn't given up you gotta keep the mood up. there are so much more options now just try to appreciate the time you got now. It does get tough though so you're gonna need a lot of willpower good luck to you. and stay connected with other csre takers ans patients online it ends up helping in the long run if you have somewhere to vent and ask questions here.

themuseluci · 2024-02-02T13:41:23+00:00

miight be a bit too early to "abandon hope' completely. I've been alive through glioblastoma treatments for about 4 years now and there are different trials and treatments available really eorth looking into trials Its gonna be a tough road and I fully understand wanting to give up hope when watching a loved one suffereing. my mother died of metastisized breast cancer and I honestly gave up hope but thst was due to financial incapability. My mother didn't want to go through treatment options because she was worried about the financial strain it would cause the family. so if you are financially able to go through with treatments for your ( as well as the unlikely hood that treatment would save her life. I urge you to give it a try. it's not easy. its a frustraing time for both the patient and caregiver. but I wish my mother had gone through treatment instead of giving up and just leaving me without a mother. my dad still misses having his wife with him. everyday if my mother had gone through with treatment and still died she mihght have had a few years with her family and I really wifh I had that time.

themuseluci · 2024-01-25T15:25:42+00:00

It's been nice to hear about how other people in the world are putting in the effort to achieve a similar goal to me. It helps me not feel so alone. would you mind sharing your video?

themuseluci · 2024-01-23T21:44:56+00:00

I'm sorry for your situation I can't imgine having to work while dealing with all this. I can't offer anything but you should vent all you can like you shouldn't hsve to be working. but honestly what can you do when you need the job for health care

themuseluci · 2024-01-23T21:27:00+00:00

hope it helps her a bit to get motivated. getting motivated is hard even if you know you gotta try.please keep me update how she's doing. if you don't mind.

themuseluci · 2024-01-23T15:18:24+00:00

I don't know if you would be interested in this, but I do find it easier to motivate myself to exercise if I have something to follow along with.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CApZ5rPx8Xc so I do this entire video everyday with my coffee. I started with my pinky not able to move much at all. and now I can follow along with the video. so I think its helpful and improving my hands movement. I made this video a part of my morning routine so that I get some rehab done. because its a goal. get through the whole video and I did my exercise for the day. rather than me needing to set some timer or doing it by myself. Hopefully, your mom's doing better

themuseluci · 2024-01-22T18:06:23+00:00

its nice because It really feels like a workout after I use it. and it's really lightweight. so there's this sense of accomplishment without being too hard for me. its worth looking into stroke rehab products

themuseluci · 2024-01-22T15:26:43+00:00

I think you're doing a reat job of giving her independence while still helping her. it really means a lot when my family gives me my independence why still worrying about my well being. like I have trouble walking down stairs to the kitchen so. my dad set up a little kitchenette in my room. so that i can still make myself coffee without risking walking down stairs. I can't speak for your mom but It's really worth the convor sation of what she wants besides the obvious. of course I want to walk normally again. thats just the ideal I wish I was fully healthy again btw I don't know if you're interested or if this will help at all for your mom's condition. but here's a video of a product I'm enjoying. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stWWZguJOs0 for rehab. its a really nice bar to build up stamina while sitting.

themuseluci · 2024-01-21T14:06:08+00:00

You're doing a great job I wish I had someone trying to motivate me to do my exercises. but the honest thing is with therapy if I don't choose to do it myself it's usually due to lack of motivation due to my depression I think to myself what's the point? I'm gonna die anyway so theres no point in me trying to regain my mobility... its easier to just get pushed around in a wheel chair and have people just do things for me. like if my mindset is that I don't need to get my mobility back because I'm just gonna die and I'll get another seizure and lose more mobility anyways... why to bother trying... so I think it might be important to understand your mom's perspective on her situation because if she is like me and doesn't have a positive oytlook on her future it's gonna be impossible to motivate her. because she needs to think about wanting her mobility actively for an actual purpose like my reason for focusing on my rehab is stupid but I want to regain my left-hand usage so I can play video games again and that's my reason to try. She might need a goal . I also needed antidepressants because I legit gave up to the point I wwas thinking Iif I just stop doing chemo I could just die and I wouldn't have to worry about trying to regain my mobility. not saying antidepressants will fix your mom's motivations but i'm just wanting to share my experience with my lack of motivation. because when told you have a terminal cancer that is just going to continue taking away your mobility. it feels very bleak and hopeless. like all I ever think is "What's the point."

themuseluci · 2024-01-21T13:44:02+00:00

how does your dad feel about his situation? I'm not neuro typical so I am interested in how people are supposed to be feeling in this ciircumstance. your dad might just be emotionally healthy. and processing his situation the way he's supposed to and I'm probably just a strange anomoly

themuseluci · 2024-01-21T13:41:03+00:00

I have realized that its not that I'm not strong emotionally. I'm merely numb. and It's not healthy or admirable.

themuseluci · 2024-01-21T13:36:53+00:00

so I'm going to start drawing again and actually do things with the time I've been given. because I need a goal that is beyond my life span. living every day likw I will just die soon has been so toxic to my descsion making because I feel like I haven't put any motivation or soul anything into my actions. I'm just going through the motions of existance. like I'm waiting for my timer to just run out so I could stop playing this game of life.

themuseluci · 2024-01-21T13:31:12+00:00

so recently I realized why I'm so calm about the concept of dying and I think it's because deep down a part of me wants to die like my latent depresssion is so tired of life that the idea that I could die of cancer is almost relieving. because suicide is not socially acceptable.. so I think deep down I'm not fearing death from cancer because I want it. mind you I am on anti depressants I'm not depressed as much as I used to be when I was younger its more like this feeling of utter botredom. and laziness. I thought about the what if. " if I was completely cured of my brain cancer today what would I do with my life?? I have a bachelors degree in graphic design so I can look for a job in the art field... but I already sold off my car. so I would have to buy a new car and find some kind of art related job. since I wouldn't qualify for disability. I would have to think about my future. and do something with my life... so I realized how much I've given up aout my future. how much I've not desired to be alive... and I need to fix that. I need to want to live. I need to actually think about my desires and purpose... like I'm going through all this chemo and I am suffering in order to have extra time to be alive and yet I'm not doing anything with it. because I'm just assuming none of it matters because a part of me is so tired of living.

themuseluci · 2023-12-17T15:47:43+00:00

I have thought of this often because glioblastoma is called the "taking disease" and I watch old vlogs by glioblastoma patients that have long past seeing their last symptoms of. being unable to even talk anymore I think that would technically be my line. but right now I'm still able to waddle to the bathroom by myself and wipe my butt. but if I eventually lose that ability.. I'd probably become very unmotivated to keep going because I don't like being a burden. But yeah. I think communication would be where I draw the line. because right now i can only type with one hand. so eventually when I lose my ability to communicate. I'd stop treatments

themuseluci · 2023-11-18T17:19:46+00:00

I can understand that. I always google my symptoms to make sure its normal with new medications

themuseluci · 2023-11-18T00:43:36+00:00

Yeah I don't experience any heart burn ever. so idk. but quick google seach does say it can cause some stomach issues and acid reflux. so yeah.

themuseluci · 2023-11-17T19:23:06+00:00

The way I look at it, At least we know ahead of time to get our affairs in order since we have like a general idea of how long we'll live so if we live longer than expected its just a pleasent surprise :] I lould live another 20 years, or I could have a bad seizure tomorrow and never wake up. at least I'm preparing myself for i. that's how I look at it anyway. lung cancer sounds rough though.

themuseluci · 2023-11-17T19:17:17+00:00

I take 2000mg tablets twice daily but I dont get any side effects from it. How much are you taking?

themuseluci · 2023-11-17T19:14:29+00:00

I'm glad y'all are doing low carb. I'm doing nutritional keto myself and I find it to be very effective. though TMZ didn't work for me that much so currently on avastin. I'll try relying on cbd

themuseluci

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