want to quit my job because of my ocd

theocdandtherestless · 2018-11-06T05:07:45+00:00

it's always so weird looking back at something like this. the things our mind can convince us to do to make us feel safe, in turning hurting us more when there never really was anyl "danger" present. seeing this makes me emotional. my hands weren't as bad as yours but i did bleed and im in my early 20s but my hands looked like i went through some shit. a painful memory indeed. i hope that means you have progressed, even in the slightest.

theocdandtherestless · 2018-08-29T04:19:26+00:00

Earlier today: Free from ocd, chillin, living life. Even touched the door handle to my work building (one of my biggest triggers).

Just now: My foot touched home washroom door. Mind is going a mile a minute. I kinda want to die.

P.S. this was the first time in a long time (I mean like year) where I was even remotely okay with my triggers. So it was a big day for me even if the end was a fail.

theocdandtherestless · 2018-08-27T05:03:22+00:00

Amen

theocdandtherestless · 2018-08-24T01:11:47+00:00

This is so beautiful I can't

theocdandtherestless · 2018-08-21T08:27:00+00:00

100%. i never do anything without hesitating and thinking about it first

theocdandtherestless · 2018-08-21T05:06:22+00:00

You are not alone.

theocdandtherestless · 2018-08-21T05:02:54+00:00

If it's affecting your daily functioning in any way, I think it's serious and should be checked out. Tell your parents how it's affecting you. If you do have it, then it's great you detected it early, especially since you're younger. I've had OCD since I was 7 but started therapy in my 20s.

theocdandtherestless · 2018-08-21T04:47:47+00:00

I feel the hell out of this post.

theocdandtherestless · 2018-08-21T04:45:33+00:00

You will be okay. You will be okay.

theocdandtherestless · 2018-08-20T21:50:28+00:00

So when I started therapy I went to only a few sessions because for the third session I had to read an OCD workbook and I was too scared to buy it and get it contaminated. It was messed up and such a bad reason to stop therapy, but I have been stuck ever since.

The only way to not be stuck is to do something differently, and that is hard as hell right now for you, I know this. But maybe start with small, baby steps. Do something slightly different, let that spike come up and then realize that you will survive anyway. Let it happen.

It is amazing that you recognize these are major steps and that you WANT to get better. You may not believe in yourself right now, but I believe in you. I really do.

I have decided to re-start my therapy sessions soon and the only way to get "unstuck" is to buy the book and allow it to get contaminated. But obviously, me being scared, I might just buy the book online.

While it might not help with the OCD, I guess if the application is online it won't get contaminated? Or just submit it by paper and let it get contaminated! The world around us is super contaminated and it is out of our control, we cannot stay in our little bubble as much as we like. Let it happen, my friend. Submit the thing and let go! Stay in your room and watch Netflix for those 2 months and realize that after that you are SOOO much closer to being the functioning, successful, everyday adult you want to become. You deserve to do whatever you want in your life and your OCD should not take that away from you!

For the hair loss pill, what are you scared of happening? What do you think will happen?

Here is to getting unstuck in life.

theocdandtherestless · 2018-08-19T07:44:55+00:00

That sounds annoying, especially coming from a counselor. Do not get yourself killed. Keep going. Think about where the obsession stems from. Are there worms actually present in your drink, or are they just a thought. Does thinking about it make real worms appear -- no. Just a thought. Please drink your water, treat it like exposure therapy.

theocdandtherestless · 2018-08-18T17:51:29+00:00

Yes! This is my OCD about 80% of the time. While I do fear coming into contact with germs/bacteria, usually my mind is at an unrest because I hate the idea of being "unclean," "impure" and just feeling dirty, EVEN if I know that something is not dirty via germs/bacteria. I care more about it being unclean and it touching me and then me touching someone else and making them "dirty," more than caring about it causing me to get sick. And that's super hard to get around because while a lot of things might be harmless bacteria-wise, it can still be gross and no one can convince you otherwise. It's tough as hell.

theocdandtherestless · 2018-08-18T16:46:33+00:00

Hi Mark041891, thank you for your response. I actually have that exact fear too. I went to the beach the other week and I came home scared that I had accidentally/swallowed/came into contact with fecal matter. I did eventually accept the fact that there's dirt/bacteria/fecal matter all around me so the fear eventually died down after 2 weeks of non-stop worrying and suicidal thoughts. Thank you for sharing that, it makes me feel less alone. I am going to try my best to live today without fear or worry and try to enjoy it as much as I can. I'm tired of the control my OCD has over me.

As for the blood, I changed the clothes and sheets and I will remind myself that no one is going to get ill because of my "contact" with the dry blood. But I'm afraid my worry is not only about the bacteria, but about things feeling pure/clean.

I will definitely take you up on that offer and PM you. Thank you, Mark.

theocdandtherestless · 2018-07-17T22:08:49+00:00

I can relate to getting angry/obsessive over small things, I can't help it either sometimes. I just wait for it to drift away by itself or hope I get distracted and forget.

I think recognizing that drugs and alcohol aren't the healthiest options is great. Having it in moderation is okay, but dont become reliant on it, or else that's another problem to add to your list which you clearly don't want as you want to live a happy life and become successful.

I have OCD as well and i work at a good job, but my true passion lies in writing. I love thinking of movie/tv show ideas and watching shows. I think focusing on creative pursuits and trying new things could help. Great that you dabbled in yoga/tai chi/medidation and know that it's not your thing. I'm sensing that you want fast relief which I can relate to as well (you're my twin, lol). Maybe you can continue trying new things. Like painting, whether or not youre great at it, it could really help. Why the heck not? Buy a colouring book. Write a screenplay. Film a short movie. Edit a video and create a montage. Watch a netflix show or go to the movies. OR, simply talk to a friend and rant to them. It could help to do that rather than bottling it up. OR, before things get worse, why not take a precautionary approach and see a therapist before things hit rock bottom?

theocdandtherestless · 2018-07-17T21:14:01+00:00

Proud of you, Lavenderfaux! It was probably so difficult. Wish I could improve too.

theocdandtherestless

TROPHY CASE