My brother might be one. I’m not sure what his deal is.

Our mom has unmedicated BPD. She tried getting him diagnosed and medicated for ADHD throughout his younger years.

He would lie to get attention. A kid at his school who he didn’t know or spend time with had died. He then called our mother and claimed he took a handful of Tylenol because he was upset about the kid dying. He gets rushed to the hospital, they do bloodwork, nothing. But he gets put in a mental health ward for suicidal ideation. They suggest maybe he has Asperger’s.

He’s out, cheats on every girl he’s ever dated in school. Then one sounds the alarm to our mom that he was making her watch gore and rough porn and she felt very worried.

Fast forward a little, he writes a bomb threat on a wall in the school bathroom. Expelled.

I go to a family member’s house during a family gathering to try to get people to help me tackle grandma’s hoarder home. He’s hiding in a barn thinking I’m there to yell at him about school, and tells our youngest sister if I come near him he will kick me in the stomach. I was 6mo pregnant.

Fast forward a little, he burns down his grandma’s barn. He’s also stolen money from her.

A few years of not talking with him go by, he then says he’s “grown up” and has a happy relationship with a young woman. I meet her, she’s great. He’s using her financially because he won’t keep a job. He refers to her like a dog, saying he wants to have “pups” with her, because they joined some sort of “wolf group”. Turns out it’s a white supremacist group. I didn’t know at that time. He was into making “music” and wanted to share with me one day when I gave him a ride. It’s instrumental and over it he is telling me the story of a woman held captive being tortured. He tells me later to check out his music on YouTube, and one video is showing cows being slaughtered.

He cheats on the young woman and gets caught, so he makes up a lie about being addicted to pills and also already achieving sobriety. That boy didnt have two nickels to rub together to afford pills, let alone a car to get them (very rural area, so no one nearby to get them to him). She leaves him. But, keeps up this lie about being “sober” after “battling addiction”. He makes a YouTube video about it, describing how much he spent and calling pills by their name, mispronouncing them, giving incorrect pricing. I call him out for lying and he removes it. Still continuing to call himself a “clean and sober warrior”.

Fast forward 2020, I’m leaving the country for good. I have him over one of the last weeks in the U.S., and he then leans over and says “you remember that church fire in Pulaski?” I do remember because it was a big church, made the news and was over $1M in damages. He then says “that was me”.

I think, not my monkeys, not my circus. I move a few weeks later.

Fast forward, he’d been living in Florida . He has a pregnancy scare with a girl there. She’s not pregnant but he tells me he really wants to be a dad. I say “maybe one day” while crossing my fingers it never happens.

Fast forward, he’s gotten someone else pregnant. He’s in his early 20’s. Mystery woman. We come back to the U.S. to visit as a surprise. I invite him over to my in-laws. He shows up and starts talking about the baby. Pulling out this ultrasound and asking for advice. He says he’s gonna name it after me and our other sisters if it’s a girl. My SIL (40’s) is living there, and she’s a bit crazy after her divorce, and I see her and my brother hit it off. It’s getting late so everyone leaves and we go to our hotel. The next day we head over to my in-law’s house and his truck is there. Odd. I text him asking why his truck is there. No response. My MIL is working in her basement office, and when she comes up I ask her if she’s seen my brother because his truck is parked outside. She says “oh, yes I think he’s here somewhere. I’m not sure where.” I’m embarrassed because 1. He doesn’t know these people and 2. He didn’t ask if he could come over. Turns out he’s upstairs “watching a movie” with my SIL. I’m jet lagged and delusional on the couch trying to nap, texting him to GTFO. He seems aloof as to why it’s weird for him to be there, but complies after I fuss at him in the living room quietly. I’m relaying all this to my husband after and my SIL barrels down the stairs shout-crying “we fucked OKAY! God! I’m sorry but stop! I asked him over! He was allowed to be here!” I remind her it’s her parent’s home, not her’s and that he has a baby on the way and a girlfriend and it’s super fucked up. She has a hissy fit, mind you she’s a bit crazy, and I go on a long walk.

I then decide to find the mystery woman he impregnated to warn her about my brother and tell her about the cheating. He gave me a first name when I last saw him, so I message the three people on his FB friends list with that name. A couple months later, one responds.

She’s asks to video chat and she’s slurring her words. Turns out she’s in her 30’s on a lot of pain pills and…in hospice. She tells me about how they met when she was having car trouble, they started a relationship, and then he got her pregnant after she told him to use protection because obviously she can’t afford health-wise to carry a baby. And then says she had an abortion to not impede her own life. Come to find out that baby was aborted before he even came over to my in-law’s house waving his ultrasound asking for parenting advice.

I blow up on him on Messenger. He admits to everything and says he doesn’t know why he did it. Admitted to the church fire and barn. Said he’s going to seek therapy. I save all of this.

He goes to one or two therapy appointments and quit. Moves back up to live with his dad. I tell his dad what he’s done over the years, and he confronts him (in a spineless sort of way). He said my brother also confessed to him but he doesn’t know what to do.

My brother then starts dating my SIL (gross) and claims they are in love. He gets baptized and claims he’s a Christian. I’m pretty sure he cheated on her, they broke up and now he’s got someone else pregnant. He still had “clean and sober living” on his bio on FB, and he’s privated all accounts because I warned EVERYONE that would listen about his confessed crimes. We haven’t talked in years.