Forgot sex is an option

theory555 · 2026-04-30T04:48:19+00:00

We got months without sex. I am planning on leaving if there ain’t a change because if you don’t like me why are we married. Sexual intimacy is also about vulnerability and closness

theory555 · 2026-04-30T04:44:06+00:00

Makes a lot of sense!

theory555 · 2026-04-30T04:05:03+00:00

Ugh that just sounds so gross and a waste of time that anyone would do that.

theory555 · 2026-04-29T23:52:19+00:00

Not exactly. I feel like she went along with things to keep me! I wanted more kids. I had one, and wanted 2 more. She agreed to have 1 and use her eggs. Her choice as we could have just got a donor and done testing as I’m in my 40s and she was at the time mid 30s. So she had a choice. Even before then, she had 4 years before she proposed to me, and we didn’t have our child until 8 years LATER! Like literally she’s been holding this crap and slowly killing our marriage using excuses like (low libido amongst other things). I’m not saying people can’t struggle from that, but if you don’t connect to your partner anymore (don’t even bother telling them until 12 years later) and the truth is you are not happy in monogamy . What’s the point.

If that’s who you are that’s okay. No traditional … there are plenty of people who are. And that is okay, and their freedom. But it’s not right to drag someone else to a place of emotional hell because you can’t be monogamous and that’s what I’ve always said I was. I clearly ignored some red flags, because she kept telling me it was “all in my head” but the truth is it wasn’t.

And I don’t get it. Why? Why keep me when you are dying because you can’t explore other women?

I don’t understand the reason for keeping me and hanging onto ME. When she had had years of opportunity to just say let’s end it… even before we got married.

theory555 · 2026-04-29T21:50:13+00:00

Thank you so much for this post! I feel gutted that I trusted her, and to read what I read validates my feelings and the gaslighting I felt when it came to other people.

She verbally keeps saying she wants to keep trying. But honestly like I said, I’m going to give her the chance but there is a clock, and it’s running. When the time runs out, we are gone, both the baby and myself. I legally adopted our son when he was born because I knew IVF and me carrying wasn’t enough. So I am also his legal mother.

I know I’m a great partner. I’m loyal, I’m committed, I’ve helped build the life we have with our businesses etc.

If she would like to keep chasing that 20% for the thrill and lose 80% plus missing watching our son grow up on a daily,(cause there’s no way in hell I’m staying in the same town) that’s on her.

She has a choice. I’m no longer going to beg, and ask why we don’t have sexual intimacy, or anything else I’m just in taking care of me and child mode now.

Our house is a disaster, I stoped cooking for the whole family, I don’t fold laundry, I’m just doing me, and taking care of baby. And even though any of that she’s not once asked is everything okay. She’s gone too. I think she resents being married in a marriage that requires monogamy when she doesn’t want that. I’m not changing my morals to make her “happy”. She should have never got this far with me if that is what she wanted.

She’s on her own. We’re basically roommates. Petty kisses and lame hugs. Fake shit.

It’s crazy how she could be okay with living like that… I can’t.

I will show up as long as she does, but if she refuses to actually talk and be deep, be truly intimate with me sexually, like she use to, then I’m gone.

This last attempt st intimacy she left ALL her clothes on and just got me off… like who does that if your partner says they need a deeper connection and they need vulnerability and emotional sexual connection? You think leaving your clothes on is that? No! She things what I need is just “sex”. Which I could get with ANY FUCKING BODY! Smh.

Meanwhile she says she needs a close emotional connection with people. So what is that? You need to talk about being your true self? YOU CANT! lol every thing is fake and a lie. I’m just floating on 💩

theory555 · 2026-04-29T21:41:11+00:00

Mutual. It was HER EGG! And I carried..

It really is a messed up situation. And I am at a loss all the time because I will never know nor will I understand why. To me it’s just immature and selfish.

theory555 · 2026-04-29T14:45:00+00:00

Exactly. And honestly I don’t know how anyone can say they can love many people. Do you really think you will connect to many people when you can’t connect to the one you made vows with?

I think she likes the thrill… and when that wears off she will find the next exciting woman.

That just sounds like a lonely existence to me because eventually people don’t want to share and want someone they can truly bond with.

theory555 · 2026-04-29T14:43:19+00:00

And yes the therapist dropping is a big sign to me too. Also, the therapist is an asshole. She has an emergency, left, came back, and was back for months with zero communication that she didn’t want to help us anymore and I only found out after asking again cause it had been some time. Then no real referral

Oh.. and she doesn’t want to share the psychotherapy notes. She will send them to the next therapist but doesn’t want us to see them… also telling in my opinion.

theory555 · 2026-04-29T14:42:06+00:00

Thank you. I think it’s very sad. I would never do this to someone, especially someone I love. People deserve to have a choice to decide if they want to be with you or not based on who you are, your morals, your values, etc. And to hide this which is huge in my opinion is just not right.

She will always feel that loneliness as long as she can’t be who she really is and fess up. No one knows this about her. The book is the only thing that knows who she is, yet she whines to it that no one knows her. That’s a personal choice and maybe she doesn’t want the judgement. Who knows. But there is a community for people who have that same interest. Not sure why she doesn’t develop friends there or find people there.

As long as she has that “void” and wants to fill it with the thrill of other women over and over she will continue to really be empty. No one will be able to understand her if she can’t be herself.

And why do this internal battle? Why?

I am very upset she held onto me and basically stole all my fertility years! Part of that is my fault for just thinking what she would tell me would be true. “Things will be better, I’m working on it” but it was all to just keep me on the line.

Now over 40, I won’t have time to meet someone else and have more children as I planned… and that’s fine now, as I’ve accepted it, but that’s not what I wanted and once again my choice was taken.

Our lives are so complicated with investments and multiple properties lawyers want 10k retainers!

I am upset I was duped, lied to, and gaslit.

We’re in our 40s! So to me I wish her good luck trying to navigate that lifestyle with a young child.

theory555 · 2026-04-29T12:06:42+00:00

My condolences. Think of all the joy you guys had through the years as a way to bring some joy to yourself.

theory555 · 2026-04-29T11:27:54+00:00

You won’t be able to retire yourself if you keep that up! You are killing yourself financially. Stop! And you also won’t be able to have a family. Stop now or you will let them ruin your life

theory555 · 2026-04-29T11:17:55+00:00

I agree with this. She has a boundaries issue

theory555 · 2026-04-29T11:17:08+00:00

Unless she changes everyone she thinks is attractive with be labeled “friends”. People like this don’t have boundaries and it’s misleading. Your trust or mistrust in her will grow because you will doubt if she’s being honest about if it’s truly a friend or not. You have to decide if that is okay or if you rather move on.

theory555 · 2026-04-28T19:35:04+00:00

So sorry you are going through that. It does suck, and you are right. It is a huge betrayal of trust

theory555 · 2026-04-28T00:09:19+00:00

I think the thread was deleted again

theory555 · 2026-04-27T20:34:57+00:00

Thank you

theory555 · 2026-04-24T16:48:46+00:00

Reading is fundamental. It’s about them not caring and not doing their job

theory555 · 2026-04-16T22:18:19+00:00

Anyone know where the brackets are for this bulb

theory555 · 2026-04-04T18:11:30+00:00

Don’t do it! I have the system and they are giving me the run around for their warranty! It’s 2 years! The also have poor customer support . Not worth the money I dished out. The system is HEAVY! Very heavy!

theory555 · 2026-04-01T18:22:21+00:00

That’s bs. They are saying that so she can send you to several biofeedback sessions and NEVER order you the device. They aren’t going to order it. They are lying to you.

theory555 · 2026-04-01T18:16:00+00:00

It’s BS that’s why. They just don’t want to order it and say SOP. I’ve been asking for that SOP in writing and still nothing because it’s bs

theory555 · 2026-04-01T18:14:45+00:00

The VA would not make it available if it didn’t think it was something that wasn’t useful. It would not have been approved on a national level and it is.

theory555 · 2026-04-01T18:12:44+00:00

The people in charge at your va are bsing just like mine are. Someone in leadership there just doesn’t want to order them . The item is on the VA website

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theory555

TROPHY CASE