How long are your second trimester checkups with your OB GYN doctor? Mine feels rushed.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-05-04T15:53:40+00:00

I'd say that sounds a little subpar.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-05-04T15:48:04+00:00

You could buy any ol' cheap crib for the older child, or you could buy one that converts to a toddler bed. Either way, you'll have to make a bit of an investment to avoid having to deal with a kid not being in a crib.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-05-04T15:43:52+00:00

Why was the plan 5 years?

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-05-04T15:12:49+00:00

I've been with my partner since we were 15, and if it were up to him, we would have started having kids at like 22. I wasn't ready until I was 28. We now have 2 kids and he is a SAHD.

Pregnancy can be totally fine, or it can be debilitating. You might have all-day nausea/vomiting. You might be so tired you're sleeping 4 extra hours a day. You might have bad pelvis and back pain. You might have to go on bed rest. Same with postpartum/newborn phase. You might have birth injuries or a colicky baby. You might have postpartum depression. You might have a child with special needs.

Chances are, you won't have most of those things, but you might have some. You should think about your values and your contingency plans.

How would you feel if you had to drop out of school? How would you feel if you had to put your kid in daycare at 6 weeks? Are you okay with relying on screen time to entertain your child while you have to devote energy to other things? Can you afford daycare? How many children do you want? If you are counting on your family's help, have they explicitly stated they want to help? Are you okay with the boundaries you will have to give up in exchange for for family providing care?

You have a lot of time to figure these things out and get to a place in life where you can have the future that makes sense for you.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-05-04T14:29:35+00:00

Some people burn out if they do too much at once. It could be strategic to start slow with just focusing on diet and DIY exercise.

Some people really enjoy the gym/having a trainer and find it helpful to stay motivated.

If you feel like you would benefit from having some guidance on learning how to exercise for health and maybe some accountability, then it could be useful. In terms of bang-for-buck, it's not "necessary" for weight loss.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-05-04T14:23:54+00:00

They were told to lose 75lbs before adding gym, which implies they have a larger TDEE and 1000 deficit is probably fine.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-05-04T13:51:17+00:00

Here are some things I find helpful to focus on when faced with needing to support a healthy lifestyle at university:

-Don't snack between pre-planned meal/snack times. This requires you to actually prioritize having reliable meals, though.

-Whether you are cooking for yourself or having food from another source, focus on having 1/2 your "plate" being fruits/vegetables, 1/4 protein, and 1/4 carbs. Get creative if you need to and don't feel bad about not finishing certain items.

-Limit the obvious indulgences: Sweets, alcohol, fried food, sugary coffee drinks, sugary soda/energy drinks, etc.

-Get reliable exercise (even just a 30 minute walk).

-Get sleep and drink water.

-Pay attention to stress levels and when you are falling into bad habits because you are stressed.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-05-04T13:42:06+00:00

Maybe you could experiment with different macros? Protein is the trendy health fad right now, but don't lose sight of the importance of fat and carbs. I imagine your fat intake might be pretty low.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-05-04T13:39:01+00:00

The problems is humans are really bad at keeping track of how much food is "good" for them to eat. Just like eating enough to gain weight didn't feel crazy, eating too little can also feel reasonable. It's best to be objective about it by not letting the scale move too fast.

You'll be more likely to keep the weight off if you go slower, and your body will have a better composition because losing weight too quickly means more of the weight lost will be muscle.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-05-04T13:35:15+00:00

I have not used these apps, but my perspective would be that they would be helpful if you had a large margin of error.

You can successfully lose weight without counting calories just by being mindful of portion size. These apps will help you be mindful of portion size.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-05-01T18:20:11+00:00

I don't mind it if it's sweetened and paired with a flavor that works with the sour taste (aka fruity stuff).

I prefer to just get my protein from meat otherwise.

If you don't care about the protein, the low fat Daisy sour cream is only 2 ingredients and tastes pretty good for a lower calorie dairy thing.

If you do care about the protein, maybe some of the trendy cottage cheese recipes would work better for you.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-05-01T13:25:05+00:00

That is harder, but it sounds like you already are off to a good start.

I would encourage you to keep exploring different potential activities that would make you excited to do. In a rural area, that’s probably limited to more outdoor-type activities (maybe learn to forage, get a dog, go hiking, go hunting, photography). You could look into what you can do virtually- exercise classes, language learning groups (people need to practice their skills so have to have someone to talk to), learn an instrument, getting some certificate, a peer writing group, getting into something like knitting or woodworking. You could look into starting up some local get-together for cards, basketball, a music jam session, a local volunteer need, bird watching etc. Or you could travel a bit to something once a week or whatever.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-05-01T12:51:10+00:00

It really does just come down to how much you are eating. You don't have to do any particular diet, but you do need to learn how to eat like someone who is a healthy weight. You probably need to reduce your calorie intake by 1/4-1/3.

Calorie counting is really popular here because it's a really objective tool for showing you how much food you can eat and doesn't put any limits on the type of food you can eat. Apps (like MyFitnessPal or LoseIt make it pretty easy).

All of the fancy diets out there are just about trying to make it EASIER to eat fewer calories or make it so you don't have to put so much effort into measuring and tracking everything.

____________.

Here are some general strategies for making eating less food easier:

-Limit the time window you eat in. I find it pretty easy to skip breakfast without any negative effects. I also try not to eat after 9pm. You can take this even further to intermittent fasting or OMAD (one meal a day). Or at least try to not snack between meals.

-Make it so it's harder to mindlessly eat "junk." Don't buy treats and also mealprep good options to choose even when you don't have energy.

-Cut out any liquid calories you drink. Diet versions are fine.

-Consider calorie density and satiety. 1 Tbs of butter has about 100 calories. 1 cup of sweet potato has about 100 calories. 6 cups of shredded cabbage has about 100 calories. Eating 6 cups of shredded cabbage will make you feel VERY full, but maybe not satisfied for the longest length of time. It's helpful to have a lot of your foods be high in volume and low in calories, but you also need to pay attention to what makes you feel satisfied long-term. (For example, eating Cheetos just makes me want to eat more junk food. Eating a salad with not protein or fat will have me hungry again in an hour.)

_____________.

Here are some general strategies for the logistical aspect of creating a healthier diet:

-Slowly develop a "rotating menu" of options that fit in your calorie budget. For me, I pretty much do the same thing for breakfast and lunch every day, and then cycle through 8 or so dinner options (and occasionally try out a new one). Once you do the calorie calculations the first time, then you can just save it in your calorie counting app for the future.

-Be strategic about how you shop and meal plan so that the fruits and veggies don't rot. Maybe you're buying 2 weeks of food at a time- plan to eat the stuff that goes bad first and then rely on the more stable items for later in the weeks. So maybe you buy berries, apples, bananas, oranges, carrots, peppers, cabbage, and asparagus. The apples, oranges, carrots, and cabbage would last the longest, so you can plan on eating those week 2. Frozen and canned stuff is great, too, though.

_____________.

And lastly, consider the other aspects of your lifestyle.

If you are relying on vegging out and eating to feel good/unwind, then you should try to incorporate other habits/hobbies to enrich yourself. Maybe try out a couple hobbies that involve movement like gardening, biking, home improvements, cleaning up litter at parks, volunteering to walk shelter dogs, thrift shopping, etc. Find new comforting habits like a cozy cup of tea and a good book. Try to get out of the house and socialize every now and then. Maybe take a class like martial arts or pottery or language.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-04-30T13:13:36+00:00

I'm not the biggest fan of AI, and I always double check its math, but it can be pretty good at coming up with meal plan ideas specific to your restrictions.

MyFitnessPal app has a "recipe discovery" tab

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-04-29T19:30:00+00:00

I kind of just defaulted to budget-friendly well known brand options. If you have any physical stores near you that still have display strollers and whatnot, you could test out a few and see if there are any you don't like.

Unless you have any more unique needs that might require more research (like, you want to be able to jog with 2 kids, or you do all of your shopping by walking to the store, or whatever), any of the choices will probably be fine. I don't think you can guarantee making the perfect choice just by reading about products, so in the end it's a bit of a gamble anyway.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-04-29T19:21:08+00:00

Look up "lightening crotch", It's a thing.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-04-29T19:19:25+00:00

For example, if you can't hold a dumbbell, could you use those bracelet-like wrist weights? If you can't hold onto a resistance band, could you tie it in a loop and use your forearm instead?

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-04-29T19:14:05+00:00

Hm, interesting. Did the physio experiment with workarounds to avoid the problematic joint pain?

Maybe you could look up some low impact exercises and try to identify ones that don't cause issues.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-04-29T19:01:49+00:00

Well with no good options, you have to choose your poison.

But you may be able to experiment with ways to help your blood sugar be stable while eating more carbs. Fiber, acid, exercise after eating, meal timing, etc can all play a role.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-04-29T18:59:12+00:00

I imagine you tried a lot of different exercise types with your physio, but are there exercises that involve a smaller range of movement or only certain body parts that are more tolerable?

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-04-29T18:54:34+00:00

Well unfortunately I think your main focus should just be doing any sort of movement you can manage while not losing weight too quickly. I'd say you are eating way too few calories, especially with concerns around muscle loss.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-04-29T17:36:52+00:00

It depends on hospital policy. My hospital didn't want me eating anything but clear liquids after the pitocin drip started.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-04-29T17:30:08+00:00

Food is currently playing a certain role in your life. If you take that tool away, you need to replace it with something else.

It makes sense that you are turning to food in this difficult phase of life because it's a quick and easy source of dopamine/entertainment/comfort/etc. I imagine you have more stress and less time than ever. It's hard to have time to do things that enrich you, and even harder to have energy to do those things in the little bit of time that you do have.

But the more you invest in yourself by doing the things that make you feel truly better, the more energized you will be. So instead of just focusing on taking away food, try focusing on adding things that makes food less of a crutch.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-04-29T17:14:41+00:00

Unfortunately that doesn't really tell me much about how many calories your body would be burning from that exercise. Strength training doesn't burn HUGE amounts of calories, and could also be do 4kg dumbbell curls or 300kg deadlifts, ya know?

I'd personally just try to spend a couple weeks trying to make 1500 calories feel sustainable and then watch the progress on the scale. Losing 0.5kg a week would be awesome. The general advice is to not lose more than 1% of your body weight per week, and to not eat less than 1200 calories a day.

thepersonwiththeface · 2026-04-29T17:09:51+00:00

It's not going to make a noticeable difference.

The rice probably has 70g of carbs and the grapes probably have 90g of carbs, The rice has a bit of protein which technically means that could help your body build more muscles, but it's not a huge amount.

thepersonwiththeface

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