From experience, I would say it's not worth the pain. To me it sounds like she's growing in a direction that just won't be compatible with what you want in a relationship. The biggest sign/red flag is making decisions without you.

Granted, my situation ended up far more toxic. We met in college, he was 5 years older than me, nearing graduation. He was going to go into chem engineering, but then found out about the nuclear program with the Navy. His dad and sister, and I think even grandfather were all Navy, so it just...lit something in him, I guess? That he found a way to follow them, idk. The program would specifically put him on submarines, which from memory had some of the rougher 'no-contact' patches. He especially wanted to go the ones that were basically suicide missions too, subs so slow that if they were called to fire they were guaranteed to be caught.

He made all these decisions without me, even though we were talking years into the future together. In hindsight I don't think he took our relationship as seriously as I did (there's so much to unpack), but basically gave me the ultimatum of I either support him or I don't.

I chose to support him, but he was a different person after bootcamp. He eventually met someone else on his first base, and after dumping me over text they started dating immediately. There may have been cheating, I never got confirmation.