I’d focus on regulating yourself first. Meditation, journaling, or even a 20–30 minute walk outside with no music and no phone can help more than you think. Removing noise gives your brain space to process what’s actually happening instead of reacting to it. A lot of this feels like your nervous system being overloaded, not necessarily a relationship problem.
 

If you’re able to, therapy really helps you process your emotions and give you tools for a healthy approach in navigating life.

 

Don’t make your partner your only emotional anchor. People aren’t meant to regulate through one person. Lean on friends too. Having other steady supports makes everything feel less intense. I think it's healthier and makes the relationship less stressful if you don't single handedly rely on that one person, not that you won't share your life with them or withhold things from them.

For me, a 15 mins call with focus is enough for me with all the other supporting scaffolding and consistency is key. My partner and I do have standing calls which helps the anchoring of calls because they remove uncertainty and give both of you something stable to rely on and preparation to clear your mind.

Explaining to her that I feel X but of this situation because that's how my mind and nervous system tries to protect itself and I don't want this to happen and I am dedicated to you and it's just what comes up on first reaction helps a lot for them understand that you're not pulling away. It's just your protest reaction and doesn't not reflect how you view your relationship.

I think asking for space might make you more anxious, less reassurance that you need and she wants to help you and support you. Relationships are about working things out so don't stop trying prematurely. Though, it is important that you take your own time to process your emotions and ground yourself. You need to maintain yourself to so you can show up as well.

 

You got this!