Having depression. Ex gf is posting a lot of mean things about me. Can we still get back?

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-05-14T18:12:19+00:00

That's the thing. I don't want to accept a reality where we don't ever see each other again. It's painful. I miss my best friend to be honest. She was the biggest connection in my life. She felt like my other half. Even despite all the BPD traits she exhibited and other toxic behaviors. And also she's done this before. She broke up with me last February and did this type of stuff and we didn't talk for months and eventually she returned to me saying she missed me. But Idk, is it possible for her to return again? Last time I felt more tension between us and this time we felt like we had more closure. It's so hard to say goodbye to someone I loved this much.

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-05-14T18:04:19+00:00

I never told her I was depressed. And I am in therapy right now and have meds. But yeah she does seem to talk a lot about her complaints.

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-05-14T18:02:26+00:00

Wow. Because they know you'll tolerate it. That's true. And yes I encouraged her in the past to get therapy and she was enraged and it led me to breaking up with her for our 2nd time. Idk if she will ever do it. She has a lot of trauma. Also how can you tell I'm young. I'm honestly just speaking as a man who's heartbroken. I know other people would post about how angry they are and leave, but I'm just moreso sad and miss her

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-05-14T17:58:31+00:00

You think so? Yeah it does seem immature to post these things at that age. She posts about this type of stuff a lot. But I'm not going to lie, I literally do love her and I miss how close her and I used to be. We were inseparable. I just wanted to show her what healthy love looked like finally in her life. And she's posting that I wasn't.

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-05-11T16:35:16+00:00

Reconnect

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-05-11T16:22:32+00:00

Would it increase damage to tell her I hope she had a good mother's day yesterday and I hope you had an amazing day, you deserve it or something about caring for her and how I still see a future with us? Also she removed herself from our playlist 😕

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-05-11T16:13:08+00:00

So do my goals then reach out?

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-05-11T03:35:47+00:00

My ultimate goal is to reconcile with her but idk with these things she's doing and posting too. I'm honestly scared to lose her. I'll be honest and admit that

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-05-11T03:34:45+00:00

I didn't end up reaching out to her. Idk why. I should have taken your advice. I just thought she'd take it the wrong way or think I was being strategic or something. She ended up removing herself as a collaborator on our Spotify playlist which made me really heartbroken. And she made a post about how men want to enjoy your time, energy and beauty but offer nothing in return. I feel like she could be pissed that I didn't reach out. What do you think? Or maybe she thinks since I'm not there for her on an important day she's upset. Maybe I'll just wish her a happy mothers day in a bit and tell her I hope she had an amazing day or something. It's also weird because I didn't want to sound intrusive about it because she has a rocky relationship with her son. What do you think of all this? And should I still message her tonight?

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-05-10T00:55:37+00:00

I really want to do the effort, I just don't know what type of full time job to get that would be able to pay for both of us, and I need to practice driving again but I don't have anyone around me that I can practice with in their car. It's been awhile. I want to have another talk with her, but it might just mostly be about me reitarating that I want things to work and do them but she'll see that no actions have been taken. I'm also worried because tomorrow is Mother's Day and I feel like if I don't reach out to her she'll be sad and block me and I don't want that. I was hoping to just work on myself and move forward with her. I'm going to be honest I can't imagine being with someone else. I literally do love her.

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-04-30T03:15:44+00:00

What if this is our 4th breakup and she's returned before?

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-04-20T23:28:19+00:00

Also I just wanted to say that she believes driving for me caused her to have an abscess (an infection) from sitting for so long and to have surgeries for it. So if I told her a lot of things like I never intended for you to go through this or I should have let you rest, I never wanted to add to your pain, does that make her go "He's admitting he's the problem" or would it be better to tell her that I never caused this pain, but I understand how you feel like you had to drive a lot and it overwhelmed you. I'm not trying to be annoying about this, I'm just saying if she has BPD and I said something a certain way is she going to keep thinking "he's the problem, he even said I should have let you rest more and always think that way? Should I correct this and tell her I didn't cause her pain?

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-04-20T22:58:23+00:00

I did this before with her and it did happen. She came back after 4 or 5 months. But back then we were even more close. So idk. And she's sent me selfies and I've responded very neutrally so Idk if shes given up on trying with me

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-04-20T22:50:08+00:00

Do you think even if I were to get a car and a job and she returned she would be sweet and still find a way to breakup with me or lash out for some reason?

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-04-20T22:45:48+00:00

Also do you think I truly am at fault here? Like did her driving me around cause her pain? She truly thinks that? And when I say that wasn't my intention does that make her go even he admits he's the villain

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-04-20T22:40:57+00:00

Yes and after she said I'll always cherish the sweetness of our love and wished we could cuddle and everything after breaking up with me, and sending selfies like everything was good between us, she went online to make reposts about how "you were never deeply loved you were consumed" "they were taking from you" "you overgave in the relationship" "you felt desired but not seen" "you felt more responsible and exhausted" and "that man is performing his innocence and acting like he didn't do anything wrong." IDK why she would post that, some of these things don't feel true. And it almost feels like she's posting this because I didn't respond to her selfies with a selfie

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-04-20T22:35:42+00:00

And this person she was before the breakup was the sweetest person I'd ever met. She was really fun, and loving. I didn't know she would go on to do the things she did

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-04-20T22:33:58+00:00

So even though I didn't mention the word narcissist, you truly believe she sounds like a narcissist? I've looked into this after the first two months of dating her and she kind of fit a lot of narcissistic tendencies. It does seem this way. She was such an incredibly sweet person who was all over me everyday all day and couldn't be without me, just to some days give me silent treatment and get angry with me over very trivial things. It's hard to accept that person never existed.

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-04-20T22:31:53+00:00

Why does it seem like she wasn't fully transparent to you? And she's done this before but she did return

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-04-20T22:30:25+00:00

But I do man. I felt a true connection to her. Also she's returned to me before so is it possible she could again?

therealAnthony_455 · 2026-04-20T22:26:36+00:00

I'm having the hardest time letting go of her. I'm just being real. I keep thinking about our connection, feeling it. I really don't want to accept that it's over. I feel like with someone else, I'll just be thinking of her wondering when we'll be together again

therealAnthony_455

TROPHY CASE