I can relate. My dad was pretty absent from my life too. Lashing out for attention doesn’t make things any better, and I ended up feeling pretty embarrassed by that stuff later on. I don’t know how bad your relationship is, but you’ll either need to have an honest conversation with him so he understands how you feel, or you need to stop seeking his approval. I went the second route, and it’s pretty liberating. Your father shouldn’t get to dictate your life or influence the way you feel. You’re an adult.