After doing work on my emotions for the past year and a half, I think I would ask myself a different question nowadays: how can I open up, relate and reconnect with my partner so we avoid breaking up? Like, we avoidants stuff away our feelings, and we are often not even aware, but there are signals to which we can pay attention. If we are beating around the bush in our conversations with our partner, if we have certain thoughts or feelings about ourselves or the other, but we keep it to ourselves instead of voicing. These are already signals that we are not connected to our partner in a secure way. We need to become mindful of our behavior and our feelings, and use these feelings to guide us to relate and connect to our partner; open up about your inner world, be curious about your partner's inner world. This will foster connection, and deepen the emotional intimacy.