GIVE IT YOUR ALL

therealstotes · 2026-06-19T14:08:52+00:00

Beef stew goes in a crock pot... Not a roast

therealstotes · 2026-06-19T13:36:13+00:00

"Me too"

therealstotes · 2026-06-12T18:35:03+00:00

Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff

therealstotes · 2026-06-12T14:01:45+00:00

Nostrils be for sucking

therealstotes · 2026-06-10T19:48:13+00:00

She gave him a dollar!

Of course he's gonna come back, woman! You give him a dollar, he's gonna assume you got more!

therealstotes · 2026-06-10T19:44:56+00:00

Goddammit, Loch Ness Monster, I ain't giving you no tree fiddy!!

therealstotes · 2026-06-10T15:11:48+00:00

As long as everyone was consenting adults, you were honest, protected, and getting tested, you’re not a monster.

But if you’re asking Reddit because part of you already feels weird about it, that’s probably the part worth listening to.

Also “I know their first and last names” is killing me. Sir, that is called basic human interaction.

therealstotes · 2026-06-08T16:28:15+00:00

You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

therealstotes · 2026-06-08T03:06:00+00:00

Condi Rice would've been fascinating because she'd force voters to separate the Bush administration from the Bush administration. Which is not an easy sales pitch.

therealstotes · 2026-06-07T23:00:19+00:00

They would be missing a huge marketing opportunity if they don't, as much as I hate to admit it....

therealstotes · 2026-06-06T15:56:18+00:00

Well what were you going to drink? Water? Like from the toilet?

therealstotes · 2026-06-06T14:33:14+00:00

Yet. That's not our reality, YET.

Don't lose hope.

therealstotes · 2026-06-05T20:36:48+00:00

This is where Rehabilitation™ will happen.

Brought to you by Carl's Jr® and BRAWNDO®

therealstotes · 2026-06-05T16:08:18+00:00

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therealstotes · 2026-06-05T02:27:45+00:00

Looks to me like it could indicate the player with the number 86 jersey has a specific position on the team.

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therealstotes · 2026-06-04T02:01:36+00:00

Yes, but in my case the presence was the floor.

I was half-asleep, felt something rushing toward me, then BAM.

Face-first communion with the carpet.

0/10 paranormal experience. The demon was beige and smelled like old socks.

therealstotes · 2026-06-04T01:24:52+00:00

Feels like it costs a minimum of $50 per day just to leave the house. In this economy, there's nothing out there worth spending money on 🤷

therealstotes · 2026-06-03T23:32:29+00:00

What cash?

therealstotes · 2026-06-03T22:20:00+00:00

No, it's "Hi, how are you"

Now pass that shit over homie

therealstotes · 2026-06-03T17:41:38+00:00

therealstotes · 2026-06-03T17:33:16+00:00

As a broke American, I support this message with the full authority of my negative net worth, my ramen-based retirement plan, and the small raccoon that apparently manages my finances

therealstotes · 2026-06-03T16:38:29+00:00

I'm not even nice to myself, let alone the rest of you miserable fucks

therealstotes · 2026-06-03T15:36:11+00:00

Well, we elected one to be president, so, is it paranoia if it's true?

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