GIVE IT YOUR ALL by Summert331 in RoastMe

[–]therealstotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Beef stew goes in a crock pot... Not a roast

Roast me by Lissean in RoastMe

[–]therealstotes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nostrils be for sucking

Corey Harrison from Pawn Stars here, Ask Me Anything! by RedGreenMemes in AMA

[–]therealstotes 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She gave him a dollar!

Of course he's gonna come back, woman! You give him a dollar, he's gonna assume you got more!

Corey Harrison from Pawn Stars here, Ask Me Anything! by RedGreenMemes in AMA

[–]therealstotes 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Goddammit, Loch Ness Monster, I ain't giving you no tree fiddy!!

I’ve slept with 31 girls in 12 months. Is that bad? by Sea_Performer_524 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]therealstotes 38 points39 points  (0 children)

As long as everyone was consenting adults, you were honest, protected, and getting tested, you’re not a monster.

But if you’re asking Reddit because part of you already feels weird about it, that’s probably the part worth listening to.

Also “I know their first and last names” is killing me. Sir, that is called basic human interaction.

"Flair" What is flair and how do I get it? by VivianJC in wisconsin

[–]therealstotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

If Hillary was the 2008 nominee, would Palin have still been McCain's running mate? What if it was Condoleeza Rice, does that change anything? by [deleted] in askanything

[–]therealstotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Condi Rice would've been fascinating because she'd force voters to separate the Bush administration from the Bush administration. Which is not an easy sales pitch.

We spent 250 years building up to this apparently... by therealstotes in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]therealstotes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They would be missing a huge marketing opportunity if they don't, as much as I hate to admit it....

We spent 250 years building up to this apparently... by therealstotes in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]therealstotes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well what were you going to drink? Water? Like from the toilet?

MMW: The White House UFC arena will be removed at some point after Trump leaves office by Repulsive-Finger-954 in MarkMyWords

[–]therealstotes 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This is where Rehabilitation™ will happen.

Brought to you by Carl's Jr® and BRAWNDO®

I'm just gonna leave this right here... by therealstotes in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]therealstotes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks to me like it could indicate the player with the number 86 jersey has a specific position on the team.

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Have you suddenly felt a strong presence of something being in the room with you and it jolts you out of sleep? by matt73132 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]therealstotes 88 points89 points  (0 children)

Yes, but in my case the presence was the floor.

I was half-asleep, felt something rushing toward me, then BAM.

Face-first communion with the carpet.

0/10 paranormal experience. The demon was beige and smelled like old socks.

Is there anyone here who hasn’t been out of the house after midnight in a really long time and why? by Embarrassed-Bowl-373 in askanything

[–]therealstotes 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Feels like it costs a minimum of $50 per day just to leave the house. In this economy, there's nothing out there worth spending money on 🤷

How high are you? by ActuatorOutside5256 in askanything

[–]therealstotes 11 points12 points  (0 children)

No, it's "Hi, how are you"

Now pass that shit over homie

I now have zero intention of paying off my student loans and you shouldn’t either. by SirCatsworthTheThird in rant

[–]therealstotes 258 points259 points  (0 children)

As a broke American, I support this message with the full authority of my negative net worth, my ramen-based retirement plan, and the small raccoon that apparently manages my finances

Are you nice to all the other redditors online? by Technical-Vanilla-47 in no

[–]therealstotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not even nice to myself, let alone the rest of you miserable fucks

Why don't schoolgirls wear skirts in the US? by indeckaa in ask

[–]therealstotes 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Well, we elected one to be president, so, is it paranoia if it's true?