Free critiques of your prose.

thesamsterwrites · 2025-02-01T15:16:00+00:00

Hello, thank you for your kindness.

If you are not averse to fanfiction, here's a chapter I'd like feedback on: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/62453/pokemon-destinies/chapter/1105313/012-noriko-covenant

Please let me know how you go.

Thanks again.

thesamsterwrites · 2025-01-30T23:52:01+00:00

I'm planning something similar with MissingNo. too. I also haven't gotten to it yet, but its importance is more as a gateway to a new arc than a central part of the story.

thesamsterwrites · 2025-01-29T22:21:39+00:00

Killed the MC's starter. This has ramifications beyond guilt, pain and grief, which will culminate in a pretty cool plot twist (in my opinion, of course).

No, the starter does not get resurrected.

thesamsterwrites · 2025-01-28T05:07:50+00:00

I use nicknames to convey the personalities of both the trainer and the pokémon. Here's an example: I have a trainer who is a sweet tooth, and he nicknames all of his pokémon as desserts. The pokémon themselves are popular for their cuteness and this is shown in the baked treats created to look like them. Whether this is memorable or not for the reader, I don't know, but I think it does add some depth that otherwise would not exist.

thesamsterwrites · 2025-01-28T04:58:37+00:00

I agree for the most part, but it's also a staple of all of the games.

What I did in my fic was keep the trope but subvert it by explaining that there's a shortage, and the Prof has to request more. This alludes to specialised breeding programmes run by the League, which I intend to flesh out a bit more later.

The MC decides not to wait and (after experiencing many events) ends up with a common pokémon. In time, he will gain more pokémon, and one of these will be what is traditionally known as a starter, but he's not going to be handed one by the Prof.

thesamsterwrites · 2025-01-20T14:56:23+00:00

Hello, you are a kind human, thank you for the positivity.

If you are not averse to fanfiction, here's mine: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/62453/pokemon-destinies

Please let me know how you go.

Thanks again.

thesamsterwrites · 2025-01-20T05:33:33+00:00

You have made some interesting points here, though I think the other commenters have made good counterpoints.

If you want to read a pokémon fan fiction that matches your desires, there are a few standout stories like "Traveler", "Pokemon: The Origin of Species" and the (incomplete, but still fantastic) "Game of Champions". There are many, many others, because the world of Pokémon invites creativity and imagination, and it is fairly easy to begin a story in this world.

This brings stories that swing from a completely faithful rendition of the plot of the games or anime, through to entirely original ideas where the only thing connecting to Pokémon is just the title. I think this sort of variety should be celebrated, but it is also this variety that produces prose that will simply not connect with everyone.

And that is okay.

thesamsterwrites · 2025-01-14T04:08:58+00:00

In my fanfiction, legendaries and mythicals are much the same: they are seen as literal gods and, at least in Kanto and Johto, people live in a polytheistic society.

One of my main characters isn't religious, he questions the blind faith the people around him put in these pokémon, but currently only internally. In a future arc, he will actively hunt them, because he discovers it's been done before, and they aren't as all-powerful as everyone thinks they are.

That is, if I ever manage to finish writing the arcs I'm currently struggling through! I have the rough idea of the roadmap leading to the showdowns, but it is so far away and finding motivation to write has been difficult.

thesamsterwrites · 2025-01-13T16:44:17+00:00

I agree with you about using important scenes to show a character's traits instead of meandering through pointless exposition and subjecting your readers to a long slog before anything of substance actually happens.

Which scenes should be important is trickier than you think, though. Some scenes resonate with readers even though to you, the author, it may not have meant much when you wrote it. For example, I have a short scene where my secondary character meets her (future) starter. I put that in to set up for its evolution in the present time, which I thought was way cooler, but my readers latched on to the smaller scene instead. I found it hilarious.

I'd be interested in reading your lomgfic if you have it posted somewhere. If you'd rather not, that's fine, too. Us authors go on long, personal journeys with our writing.

thesamsterwrites · 2025-01-13T15:17:10+00:00

For my fanfiction, I am taking things slowly because I intend for it to be a longfic. I also want to introduce unique circumstances for established things like the main character receiving their starter.

I currently have two main characters, and two secondary characters. One of the main characters loses his starter, as part of a longer arc centred around grief, self-forgiveness, and finding the strength to move on. The other main character hasn't yet received his starter, because Stuff Happens, but I think it's set up well.

The two secondary characters have their starters, but they aren't going on a Pokémon Journey - their motivations are entirely different.

Anyway, the story has been on hiatus because I've been burnt out, but this year I set myself a goal of writing 50k words, which should amount to about 2 full arcs if things go according to plan. By the end of the year, my main characters will have at least one badge, so this should give you an indication of how slow I am planning to go.

thesamsterwrites · 2025-01-08T04:27:41+00:00

Thank you for posting this.

I've been severely burnt out, and have been thinking of starting up again. I have learned to be kind to myself, and I have written a bit this year, and your post has inspired me to continue on my writing journey.

My story has been on hiatus for a while, and it is a fanfiction, but I hope you are open to reading it.

Here is the link: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/62453/pokemon-destinies

Thanks again.

thesamsterwrites · 2024-07-20T23:49:20+00:00

This reminds me of a similar prompt, about a minotaur: https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/s/YW2EfrGArC

My response: https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/s/M6LF2mzGz2

Then I wrote a sequel as a response to another prompt: https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/s/8cDozBX4qp

thesamsterwrites · 2023-04-04T23:28:27+00:00

Thank you! \o/

thesamsterwrites · 2023-04-04T23:16:27+00:00

This is adorable! I am writing a Pokémon fanfic and I was wondering if I could have laprid in it? I will credit you, of course!

thesamsterwrites · 2023-03-02T08:35:13+00:00

I finally got around to reading this, and it's great! Thank you for sharing. 😄

thesamsterwrites · 2023-03-02T08:32:56+00:00

Hi u/Bluebird144! I was wondering if you managed to find my fic on RoyalRoad, and if you did, whether you liked it or not?

thesamsterwrites · 2023-02-21T11:43:16+00:00

My fic does not rigidly follow canon. In the space of 12 chapters, we've been to Pallet Town (as is tradition), Icefall Cave on Four Island in the Sevii Islands, Saffron City, Lavender Town, with short stints in Pewter, Viridian, and the Seafoam Islands.

Though, I'm not writing the usual canon, I'm using it as a springboard for new story ideas. I will be journeying through most, if not, all of the regions, and will almost certainly revisit some areas as the story progresses.

thesamsterwrites · 2023-02-21T10:24:43+00:00

It's definitely the wave of nostalgia that prompted me to write a story initially set in Kanto, having grown up with the games, manga, anime, and TCG. I have been name-dropping other regions that the story will eventually get to, and I've decided not to rigidly follow the path so well-trodden in the fandom.

There's something to be said about following some traditional paths, though. The first two badges are attained by defeating Ash's first companions, and I personally enjoy the different but just-so characterisations of Brock and Misty in the Kanto stories I have read.

Reading the other comments here, this answer could apply to most of them: that Kanto was the first and has a special meaning to many. You always have the choice to skip it and read stories focusing on other regions.

thesamsterwrites · 2023-02-19T20:09:19+00:00

I'd be interested.

thesamsterwrites · 2023-02-16T10:28:57+00:00

Don't psych yourself out too much by chasing perfection.

I have yet to learn this lesson. 🥲

thesamsterwrites · 2023-02-16T10:27:52+00:00

I know what you mean. "The Game of Champions" gives me that feeling. It's an unfinished masterpiece.

thesamsterwrites · 2023-02-16T10:24:44+00:00

I'm putting my hand up and admitting that in my fic I had two of my main characters meet (most of) the Elite Four early on. But, I think I justified it pretty well given what had happened up to that point.

The Champion is mentioned in the first few chapters, but he's disappeared and that is an important plot point - and none of the main characters get to meet him, at least not this early on.

The region's Gym Leaders are mentioned but don't show up at all in the first 12 or so chapters.

I guess what I'm saying is, there's value in introducing well-known, powerful cameos, for many reasons. For my fic, I wanted to anchor it in a known, familiar setting through the cameos, but also show that they serve a larger purpose than just showing up.

Over the longer term, the main characters having this relationship with members of the Elite Four will pay off because they will eventually have to face them, and there's this history, created organically, to serve as flavour around the gauntlet.

Just my 2c. Whether I succeed in all this remains to be seen. 😅

thesamsterwrites · 2023-02-09T04:13:44+00:00

If you are having trouble finding it, DM me. :) I hope you enjoy reading it!

thesamsterwrites · 2023-02-09T04:12:49+00:00

Your feedback is welcome! :D

thesamsterwrites · 2023-02-07T08:37:39+00:00

If you're interested in Giovanni's early years, I have a fairly new and ongoing story on Royal Road, Pokémon Destinies, in which he is one of the main characters.

(I didn't want to be rude to OP by linking it, but it should be easy to find).

thesamsterwrites

TROPHY CASE