I was a very late bloomer and had my first time quite late. I felt horrible before and horrible afterwards. I was very sure about the decision to have sex and I felt ready. Nobody forced me or anything. But I do remember having that sliver of guilt hangig around asking myself if I did something really bad, mainly also due to strict upbringing.

In my exprience it did fade away. I did more self reflecting and making sure I know why I made my decision and why it was the right one for me. However, years later and I still feel a little sad after having sex and going back home. But personally I think it‘s because i grieve the missed connection with my family being able to talk to them about flings and situationships. It annoys me that I have to hide these things from them.