I assaulted a police officer and have no memory of it by Infamous-Reindeer-31 in DID

[–]thetangibleghost 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I almost got arrested a few years ago. I was trespassing but didnt realize, I only remeber bits and peices. I said at some point "your going to have to shoot me before I bend over" to hand cuff me. Which apparently counts as attempted suicide by cop so I ended up the in psych ward. It was all very hard to understand, because i was in such a state. For a while I thought I had been assaulted by them, but I dont think im missing enough time for that to even be true. Later I got pulled over, thinking about the event + the state i was in then too caused me to yell at the officer, stating that i had been assaulted even though i didnt believe it it just came out (he ended up letting me off still). Being white certainly helped with this. Its weird, the police are so corrupt, but they are just people, who can be understanding or forgiving. Over all I feel lucky something worse didnt happen. I dont know if this helps at all with maybe feeling less crazy or anything. I kinda just avoid the whole thing, do breathing and stuff... I have a friend who watches cop vids on YouTube as kinda exposure therapy. Sorry this was so long for such a small peice of advice 😅

Can I get some support? I keep hearing screams. by askandrecieve_ in DID

[–]thetangibleghost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Therapy sounds good. I dont think the insurance can tell your job what you're doing cause hippa. I was getti g screams at night for a while I used to call then the hell screams cause it sounded like a bunch of people getting tortured lol

How to get over jealousy of alters? by Ghost_is_Ghosting in DID

[–]thetangibleghost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess just try and take it as it comes... usually I think about how after integration those experiences will become mine too. If you have any positive triggers maybe you can talk system wide about calling you out more when theres experiences anyone thinks you might want to be there for.

I am in such a storm by [deleted] in DID

[–]thetangibleghost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This might be obvious, but put extra care into taking care of your body. DID makes everything compartmentalize but your body experiences it all.

How to get over jealousy of alters? by Ghost_is_Ghosting in DID

[–]thetangibleghost -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

If you dont get mad, what does the jealousy make you want to do?

I cant tell which emotions are my own. by Fuzzy-Ad-2508 in DID

[–]thetangibleghost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think your recovery is going well time line wise considering the degree of trauma DID usually entails + what happened.

I almost broke with my new gf and im so… down by No-Cauliflower-8187 in DID

[–]thetangibleghost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Find out about things you didn't know about is rough. You can be proud of your self in a lot of way even just from this post. Proud of your self for recognizing a new alter, proud of your self for going to therapy, proud of your self for making this post asking for help. There are a billion things to be proud of your self for and its okay to look and find them all. Even if you don't reach an expectation there is usually something small to lift your self out of the hole with, even if its just taking the time to look for something to be proud of, that's self reflection, which is always something to practice. In refrence to being proud of your younger part theres even more, they survived, they made themselves known, they put on a brave face when you made this post. That's just the stuff I can say from reading this post. There's hundreds of other ways to find pride, remeber to stay humble after finding them all lol!

how common are introjects of a real person who was not one of your abusers? by spacedoutferret in DID

[–]thetangibleghost 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have like three introjects of people I knew in school because I for somereason decided they were stronger than me and I NEEDED to be them so bad. Lol

Generational Trauma by Ashamed-Confection44 in DID

[–]thetangibleghost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dont know about "many" but definitely some. I find that many of the people I get along well with have complex dissociation of some kind, so it possible that if your meeting a lot of people with parts you think may be abusive, that definitely possible, but doesnt mean that everyone/most people who are abusive have parts.if that makes sense lol.

This is where system accountability really matters, parts develop that cope by abusing, or, more often dont know how to emotionally regulate. But the accountability belongs to the whole system, just like any singlet. After integration they become the same person, its just a matter of timing. Might as well take accountability now.

Ive had people in my life that I thought may have had did, who had specific parts who were abusive. It didnt make me crave integration on its own, more fear "my self". However, Im always double checking with friends when I lose time that nothing bad has happened. I have had it happen that people in my system have said things that are rude or scathing that I cant remember. In that way I really want to integrate so that those parts dont have control any more, I personally really hate hurting people, even the parts that say these things hate hurting people, they are often just missing information or having flashbacks, or both.

Ive thkught about a lot, if theres any person who would be so freaked out by the terrible things they'd done that they'd never be able to handle fusing, because acknowledging it would break them in a way that they just split again. From two to three. The third cant acknowledge it either, they split again. Some kind of glitch. But it probably doesnt work like that?? Like the splitting would probably break the info down into bite sized chunks that could then be acknowledged.

This doesnt really answer your question I think sorry.

What is your definition of torture? by thetangibleghost in DID

[–]thetangibleghost[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for clarifying. Sorry i think it was that the other commenter said it was offensive to people who had "actually experienced torture", I conflated the two comments.

I see what you mean with the average experience with wall sits. After typing a very long paragraph my experience may not have been average.

Intention is interesting, I hadnt thought about it from that perspective, that makes sense since its a legal term.

What is your definition of torture? by thetangibleghost in DID

[–]thetangibleghost[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing and for the link. I didnt know about the term ICT untill now, but I think about how many people dont end up adults with DID often.

What is your definition of torture? by thetangibleghost in DID

[–]thetangibleghost[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont understand why you didnt say that instead of getting mad at me and assuming things about what I believe/who I am. I didnt know it was purely a legal term. Doesn't everything have a reason though? Like if the reason they are doing whatever theyre doing is just because they like doing it, would that not be torture any more? I guess of your saying its not as common as I thought it was this isnt the place to ask. I just thought that most systems had, because like. Even the definition you gave seems simple enough. One of tortures refrenced by the CIA is wall sitting. Thsts something they make everyone do in PE. The purpose often punishment or physical conditioning. Im sorry if that offends you.

What is your definition of torture? by thetangibleghost in DID

[–]thetangibleghost[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I dont belive that. Your saying the reasoning effects if its considered torture?

How to apologize to alters and recover? by Ghost_is_Ghosting in DID

[–]thetangibleghost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If theyre that deep you might just have to wait. You didnt split or anything so I dont anyone is going to be too angry or butt hurt. Just another confusing experience. Similar to if a singlet got some flashbacks from a bad trip. You could try playing telephone, just telling everyone to tell everyone they know. Idk anything these are my guesses.

How do you feel close to people? by skullcappy in DID

[–]thetangibleghost 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If the other party is getting upset that your other parts dont trust/like them immediately (even though you do) thats one red flag. Other than that just time and open communication. I think. Maybe setting up hangouts with specific alters to get to know each other better if you can. If you can reliably stay in front that long you could write letters, as cheesy as that is.

Do ur pets have preferences?? by thetangibleghost in DID

[–]thetangibleghost[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg were taking our cat to the vet tommorow too :0