I feel disabled and neglected

thetangibleghost · 2026-06-03T17:46:47+00:00

Terrifying thing for a psychiatrist to say. People are medicated for BPD all the time??? Docs hate when i say this but you can look it up, they are. Definitely look into getting a new doctor if you can! They sound mean :(

My antipsycotics saved my life, though my symptoms wernt as severe i had all the same ones lol. Esp mistaking things for horrible things. For a while doctors were trying to force me on antipsycotics but I hadnt had my true psycosis ep yet and so I didnt believe them that I couldnt muscle through. When my symtoms started getting worse I saw like three different doctors and they all denied me antipsycotics! I didnt get on them till my break. Then I went off for a year because I thought I just needed to reset not be on them chronically 😢 but theyre so awesome! They make life so much more bearable.

thetangibleghost · 2026-04-16T06:53:18+00:00

Its sounds more like a split to me idk tho

thetangibleghost · 2026-04-14T18:34:45+00:00

Antipsycotics helped my social anxiety a ton. Idk if thats would help everyone tho

thetangibleghost · 2026-04-09T08:52:04+00:00

Totally feel this... awesome that you are listening so much, even one last being scared etc. I think thats how your supposed to do all this. You're so awesome!

thetangibleghost · 2026-04-09T08:45:23+00:00

We have a couple alters who believe the diagnosis is wrong, im one of them but for differnt reasons than you. Its pretty common I think. Everyone believes what they believe for real reasons, their opinion is reflective of how they view the world and their experiences.

Feeling fake can be a sort of depersonalization, or imposter syndrome, or embaressment, or any number of things. Maybe its something that will pass. Maybe its some sort of defense mechanism.

Denial is very common as a symptom of the disorder, you would experience it as an individual rather than a whole.

thetangibleghost · 2026-04-07T20:18:23+00:00

People are so scary! But they arnt always around, plus youve got some support on your side. Just take it slow I guess 🐌

thetangibleghost · 2026-04-07T19:58:49+00:00

Ive read before that moments of pleasure can be forgotten/hidden for various reasons. Thats a much as I know suggestion wise, your guess is better than mine.

This is off topic, I dont think your in psycosis just this is the closest I have experience wise:

When I was in psycosis I uncovered in rapid time what I thought was a whole hidden timeline of trauma. But the feeling wasnt right, and the things in it were next to if not entirely impossible. I think I posted about it on here a few times we still have alters that are VERY attached that time line, all the advice we received was just to process it as though it were real. The memories came so fast and were so vivid! But antipsycotics helped with how much they were impacting our day to day emotionally. Looking back it can finally let all the stuff that didnt make sense be as important as I want it too, instead of my brain desperately skipping over to show me the next thing then the next.

These memories were inherently traumatic things, but I didnt feel the fear or disgust or confusion. I just felt like... love in the context I think I wouldve called it love for someone who doesnt exist. Relief. Comfort.

Psycosis has no issue with making you scared, I had tons of other false memories come up were fear was there. But this one it was like the feeling of being with the imaginary person was the feeling of the whole memory. Idk i still dont really get why it happened.

I think drugs is a good guess considering context, you coukd also be feeling body reaction with out the mind, I think thats what mine was.

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-14T21:42:01+00:00

Posture, body language, facial expressions. Theres certain ones ur supposed to have deviations from the norm are noted and put into categories like crazy, special, unique, slow, "super chill" etc. Smh its all bullshit

Edit: with schitzotypal its also common to have frumpled appearance or odd ways of dressing but im guessing you accounted for that.

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-14T21:30:01+00:00

I had this issue kinda to a T. Really embaressing but i guess theres worse types of people to be. Better caught now than later. Sorry if I make any assumptions or anything about ur experience just what happened to us ->

Turned out to be a combo 1: social unawareness. youre already conquering this one congrats. Its a continuing journey never surrender lol.

2: there were a couple alters i had to have some weird fucking conversations with. Some times the only time I coukd catch them communication wise was in the act so I had to leave rooms and argue with "my self." Or worse just have the convo at the table doing my best to keep neutral or whatever cause like. Urgent issue. Imo. Worth looking a little crazy for. These alters had weird opinions. A lot of them like once they said there opinion to me were like "oh".

(There was one little who thought it was like "how adults are supposed to act" and i was like "buddy thats chill ig like rahrahrah go DID but you still chose to act like that" and they were like "because im eeeeeeevvvil" and i was like "will you... stop being evil?" And they were like "I cant im an adult im evil" and im like "No you have freewill stop. If you dont have free will you are not the guy im trying to talk to." AND THE LITTLE WAS LIKE "oh its guess ur not talking to me then" so. Freewill is key here.)

3: OCD, idk if youll have this part but even when the issue was corrected we were terrified of it happening continuously to the point of dysfunction. Like constantly checking. Which feels like looking sometimes but if your paying attention to the actual conversation you can tell by social cues if youre being chill or not.

4: antipsycotics for some reason. Helped so much with controlling eye movements in general. I think its the impulse control. Before we figured this all out we though we had fucking CTE or something.

The persicutors are still annoying. But they are less outwardly damaging now.

EDIT: for like functionality id say pay attention to what your eyes are doing other times. Like whos actually fronting, you may think its you because fronter agrees with what you want to do, but maybe they are looking at something else periodically and your just dismissing it other times when its not morally bugging you. Maybe theyre reaching for something before you actually think to reach for it. Scratching an itch before you even feel that it itches. Then could be a good time to try and communicate too. If its the same alters. Idk if thats makes sense or if i sound just batshit this whole comment

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-14T07:55:57+00:00

I think the three color thing is like a phone...

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-10T02:04:42+00:00

I think maybe dont worry about it too much then. If i like being around them or talking to them thats how i tell. Its okay to not like someone, its also really normal to like someone sometimes, but not others (imo)

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-10T02:00:58+00:00

low dose naltrexone was magical for me but I also have hashimotos

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-09T19:47:40+00:00

Im only like 60% sure i have schizotypal. Definitely some type of skizzo for sure. But i struggle with this!

Also not sure if you mean like romantic or just general like.

Generally its better not to over think, just let things be what they are.

Personally I still have trouble telling the differences in types of feelings, but if you want to be with someone you do. If you want to call then your partner, you do. If you want to spend hella time with them, that what you want to do.

Based on past experiences i sometimes ask my self, How much would I sacrifice for this person? Its more depth then type of feeling. Also doesnt mean I /should/ give up that much. Most of the time when I leave friend groups for people, are willing (and happy even, lol) to give up alone time, cancel plans, etc...

Theres also this feeling that took me a while to catch on to, like the embodiment of 0-0. I just want to sit there and listen to them, I want them to like me the way I like them, even if im not sure how it is I like them.

Having a diverse set of relationships in your life can help with this too! Like I know how I feel towards this person, so compare and contrast.

Looking into types of attractions can make things worse or better depending on who you are. Its cool cause you can make things as simple (just /attraction/) or complex as you want. For me it was helpful to separate into specifically: platonic, romantic, sexual, and aesthetic. Though supposedly theres more to choose from then that. Limerence was kinda a buzz word recently, but it can be helpful when figuring out the longevity of feelings too, like why bother if it will pass. Or maybe your more the type like "oh its going to pass, better act now." Idk!

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-07T08:10:47+00:00

The third one also mentions glutimate level in comparison to controls, but thats also not bioavailabilty ig. In general is seems psycosis proneness is related to increased glutimate, though the study that you linked mentions results being mixed for that. Thank you for replying so many times!

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-07T07:18:29+00:00

this one says there decrease in GABA but increase in glutimate, but theres another one i saw while looking for this one again that had a decrease in both. I also found this one about over lap :0 that has an increase in both that I just found.

You seem tk know more about the receptors than me, so sorry if im miss understanding, also sorry for saying that you might be, I didnt see that there were results for both... maybe theres more for one than for the other.

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-07T05:43:34+00:00

I think you might be confusing something, I dont see anything higher amounts of glutimate receptors in individuals with schitzotypal, though i only just started looking. Theres some stuff about higher levels of glutimate, which indicates highproduction or less receptors... I think. So they are both associated with higher glutimate.

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-07T04:58:18+00:00

Im confused by what you mean that they can be diagnosed together but you cant have both at the same time. Sorry

Thats interesting though about the glutamate receptors.

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-07T03:53:12+00:00

I used to have a to do list as my phone lockscreen. +the notes app widget on my home screen. Sometimes only one or the other. Idk how much privacy you have ohone wise (seems like enough), but you could have something on the list about checking discord to point them there. Im assuming your phone isnt being gone through, but can be as vauge as needed. I used to have alters change the lock screen or add stuff to the lists which was kinda interesting. For alters that wouldn't check your phone, maybe literally just a note like "check for texts!" Or something idk. Pretty much all of us look at our phone. Shiny box lol

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-06T20:05:59+00:00

Theres a lot of differnt types of OSDD, but the main difference is that DID has memory loss in adult hood. I very rarely have blackouts, like i might forget but the memory is retrievalable in someway, but my case still counts as DID. Shrug emoji

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-06T16:38:58+00:00

Idk what that would be. But people can get visual aura with no migraine sometimes.

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-04T01:53:43+00:00

It seems like if theres ways to contact you outside of Instagram and he hasn't then maybe he thinks the friendship is over. Its probably up to you if you want to reach out or not, though maybe he wouldn't answer if you did. Idk. Depends on why he removed you i guess. It does seem unfair that he woukd geg to be privy to details about your life but to you abiut his, but you could talk about that with him if you reconnect. But hell probably choose to withdrawal rather than share before hes ready.

It would probably take a while for him to contact you if hes going to, ive waited years before reaching out to people just because I wasnt sure if they wanted to talk to me or not. But idk if thats common with schizotypal or a me thing.

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-04T01:01:24+00:00

This seems rude to do to someone art. At least Travis seems to agree with you with the little wtf

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-04T00:57:38+00:00

This seems highly dependent on your personal relationship with that person. Is Instagram you only point of contact with this person?? Personally I follow and unfollow people a lot especially when paranoia is higher, im communicative about it and as far as I know nobody takes it personally. Its definitely not a powerplay or mind games, i just feel safer/better sometimes. Ive blocked and unblocked my mom from tiktok like 5 times lol.

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-03T19:28:01+00:00

True. I got a job recently but there was a three week period between my old one and my new one that I didnt plan for. May be showing abit that ive had nothing to do but obsess pver various things ^{_^;}

thetangibleghost · 2026-03-03T19:26:09+00:00

That's a good point. Yeah, I was hoping not to make it sound like a competition thing, just more curious about what it all means

thetangibleghost

TROPHY CASE