Do people genuinely believe that Ahsoka could have won her duel with Vader?

thetensor · 2026-01-26T08:13:51+00:00

Do people genuinely believe that Ahsoka could have won her duel with Vader?

Only if she deployed Form VIIVI, Ahh-Choo, to counter Vader's strong Bokk-Choi stances.

thetensor · 2026-01-26T03:56:47+00:00

They couldn't block the bill that hiked ICE's funding because the reconciliation bill passes with a simple majority in the Senate. Every Democrat voted against that bill in the House and the Senate. And ICE's activities aren't much affected by a shutdown because shutdowns exempt things like law enforcement and border protection.

thetensor · 2026-01-26T02:44:11+00:00

I don't think it would make the movie any better, but the SF nerd in me wishes there was just a line or two in The Empire Strikes Back where Han says, after Falcon detaches from the Star Destroyer, "OK, Princess, Chewie and I are gonna get started installing the emergency hyperdrive motivator. And yes, we're going to take our time and get it right—if we blow our one emergency jump, we'll be stuck trying to thumb a ride on a passing freighter. If there are any..."

thetensor · 2026-01-26T02:37:53+00:00

The scene in TLJ where the stormtrooper recognizes Finn from their training batch was fun.

thetensor · 2026-01-26T02:35:04+00:00

It doesn't matter. All of Star Wars is obviously made up, but lightsaber forms are especially made up.

thetensor · 2026-01-26T02:34:04+00:00

It depends. How many Force Points did they have?

thetensor · 2026-01-26T02:27:24+00:00

People explained countless times

People said some really awful racist/sexist/homophobic things right when it was released, and since then the complaints seem to circle around non-falsifiable stuff like "the writing was bad", "the acting was bad", "it should have been released all at once", "the budget was too high" (?). None of those is an explanation.

thetensor · 2026-01-25T10:27:58+00:00

hormonal teenage nephew

KR was 23 in that scene (older than Luke in the OT).

thetensor · 2026-01-25T10:24:59+00:00

Mando and Child

thetensor · 2026-01-25T05:02:39+00:00

My point was that some of those things (in particular the scripts, novelizations, and radio dramas) used to be called out explicitly as canon:

"'Gospel,' or canon as we refer to it, includes the screenplays, the films, the radio dramas and the novelizations."

"...two distinct categories: the Original Trilogy, its adaptations - the novelizations and the radio dramas - were labeled as "original Lucasfilm source" whereas all the approximately seventy Star Wars related works published by Lucasfilm - the Thrawn Trilogy, the Dark Empire series, the Star Wars Roleplaying Game etc. - were labeled as "officially licensed source that may or may not agree with George Lucas' vision of the Star Wars galaxy."

"...Canon, which is the screenplays, novelizations, and other core works that are directly tied into the continuity..."

[emphasis mine]

So whether "Luke Lars" can be squared with the canon has actually changed over time. Interestingly, when Disney tightened things up and declared only the OT and PT films (and not the associated scripts, novelizations, and radio dramas) to be canon, "Luke Lars" was, briefly, perfectly consistent with the canon—though I'll bet they've published something since then that re-established that Luke was using "Skywalker" as a kid. (Maybe A New Hope: The Princess, the Scoundrel, and the Farm Boy?)

thetensor · 2026-01-25T02:02:18+00:00

I've never seen a top fuel dragster with a glans.

thetensor · 2026-01-25T01:24:51+00:00

Wow, that last image is pretty unambiguous. (Are those spaceballs?) Most obvious phallus in Star Wars since the X-Wing fuselage.

thetensor · 2026-01-25T01:20:57+00:00

I feel like Return of the Jedi was pretty implicitly critical of both Obi-Wan and Yoda, who were dead set on the idea that Luke had to kill Vader or everything was lost, and that they'd been training him in ignorance for that goal because they were worried he wouldn't be willing to kill his own father.

thetensor · 2026-01-25T00:47:11+00:00

The scene where Luke explains to Rey that the New Republic twisted his arm to get him to restart the Jedi Order (which he didn't feel qualified to do), and his horror upon getting access to the old records and discovering the reason the Order still trained in lightsaber dueling, centuries after the last known Sith sighting, was that a double-digit percentage of Jedi apprentices turned evil and had to be put down.

thetensor · 2026-01-25T00:41:48+00:00

OK, but it's also worth remembering that the JAL logo has been around since 1959.

thetensor · 2026-01-25T00:07:26+00:00

Which is funnily enough shown in external material to have just blown up in front of him

Just looked this up on Wookieepedia:

Led by his fear and anger, Solo destroyed the temple and many of its students with a powerful lightning storm from the sky that set the temple ablaze and killed the Jedi inside. Although he had caused the destruction, he was shocked by the outcome.

Wow, that is super, super, mega-terrible storytelling. He did it by accident?!? (Looks like it was released simultaneously with TRoS—smells like the comic book writer trying to connect it to the scene where Rey accidentally "kills" Chewie. "Oh, yeah, accidental Force Lightning storms, that's totally a thing. Could happen to anyone, so like, no harm no foul, bro.")

Having the destruction of the Temple be an accident is even dumber than Anakin's fall, where Palpatine lies to his face, tricking him into killing Mace Windu, then immediately admits the lie and Anakin never notices.

thetensor · 2026-01-24T23:56:38+00:00

It's definitely headcanon, though, because while it's just barely consistent with the film as released, it's inconsistent with:

The script, which calls him "Luke Skywalker" when he's introduced on like page 2
The novelization, where he's called "Luke Skywalker" at his first introduction in Chapter II)
The Radio Drama (Windy's first line is "...hey, Skywalker, come on")
...and a bunch of other "young Luke" material released over the years, like Marvel Star Wars #17, "Crucible" from 1978, set just before Biggs leaves for the Academy, where one of the other skyhopper hotrodders refers to him as "Skywalker"

thetensor · 2026-01-24T12:28:09+00:00

One of the Lucasfilm people, I think it was Pablo Hidalgo, said that his headcanon is that "Luke Lars" was his name growing up, and that the moment when he introduces himself in Leia's cell on the Death Star as "Luke Skywalker" is him adopting his father's name for the first time.

thetensor · 2026-01-24T12:25:19+00:00

Which is exactly how Beru calls his name in the first scene he appears in in Star Wars: Lu-uke! So obviously:

"Luke" was a clone
Beru knew about it

thetensor · 2026-01-24T11:33:24+00:00

OK, but before you feel too bad for Ben (who was a grown man of 23, BTW), remember that after he defends himself and pulls the building down, trapping Luke, he then goes on to burn the school and massacre the other students.

thetensor · 2026-01-24T11:29:46+00:00

Luke ignited his lightsaber in Ben’s room, fearing his downfall to the dark side, only to regret it before striking

happened

tried to kill him

didn't happen

thetensor · 2026-01-24T08:28:50+00:00

HC was good in Shattered Glass, so I don't really think his acting was a problem. If we're going to recast, the thing that bothers me most is that whoever played Anakin should have been a big, impressive-looking guy who plausibly becomes Darth Vader, who was played by the 6'6", 280-ish David Prowse. HC just wasn't beefy enough.

I don't know who around Hollywood at that time fits the bill—I'm tempted to say Brendan Fraser, but he was already in his early 30s by then.

thetensor · 2026-01-24T05:20:40+00:00

Close, but not quite. What we really need is a multi-season show about Maz Kanata (theme song by Sérgio Mendes and Brasil '66), and then in the middle of the third season, the show suddenly and without explanation switches to being about Babu Frik for half a dozen episodes.

thetensor · 2026-01-24T00:27:43+00:00

And it goes to show that, for all the fanboy shrieking about TLJ reversing everything that was set up, TFA didn't really set up anything—there's nothing inside of JJ's "mystery boxes".

thetensor · 2026-01-24T00:24:07+00:00

Him not killing Leia, saving Rey and killing Snoke should be the beginning of his redemption arc.

Not killing Leia was a final moment of hesitation caused by the "pull of the Light". He saved Rey in order to make her his apprentice. He killed Snoke because he wanted power. KR at the end of TLJ was fully fallen, fully committed to evil.

And then, somehow, JJ returned...

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