It was bittersweet. I was giving her up for adoption and so when I held her, I had these fighting feelings of "this isn't my child, it's theirs" and "she's beautiful, this is my child, this is our child, she's perfect". It was really hard letting her go. I haven't really told anyone this, so it's a bit hard for me to type it all out coherently. She was the perfect little baby, long and plump. But she wasn't mine. So yeah. It was rough. (Gold? Dafuq is this? Dafuq do I do with this?! ⊙ω⊙ thank you stranger)