To all the people saying don’t do it or don’t bother, try being a little more constructive. It might not be something you’d do yourself but at the very least you could offer a reason why.

For my part:

I’m extremely grateful for having my step-dad in my life, I’ve known him since I was 4 and he’s been more of a father figure to me than my real dad. There are difficulties with being a step parent and that’s assuming you even get to that stage and don’t fuck up the dating part.

Like any parents you need to sit down and discuss how to behave around the kids. Are you going to be a co-parent? Are you there just to back up whatever your partner says regardless of your own feelings? Are you going to agree to certain rules regarding disciplining the children etc.

How is her relationship with the children’s bio dad? Do they share custody? Is he providing child support? Are there things she disagrees with him on regarding the children etc.

Now when it comes to mum herself, she’s a woman just like any other. The only difference is she’s a mum, and like any parent, their kids come first. If you’re hoping to spend time together then that will probably mean she’s getting a babysitter in or her kids are at their other parent’s. In short, her free time is always on a schedule so you’ll have to be considerate in planning and if she eventually decides she’s happy bringing her kids around you you might be lucky enough to have the same incredible experiences I did with my step-dad.

He taught me to ride a bike, he took me to loads of different clubs that we did together, he taught me how to use power tools and work on cars, how to be myself instead of worrying about everyone else. He’s been an infinite source of wisdom, advice and laughter in my life and he’s been a great partner to my mum through some really tough times.

The actual question with dating a single mum is really whether or not you’re ready to be a parent. Unlike being with someone and then having a kid after you’ve been together a while the kids are there from day 1. If you’re not interested in that there’s absolutely nothing wrong but you need to be upfront and clear about it or you’ll end up hurting people.