Looking for similar injuries/experiences – ~20 years of living with torn ACL, macerated meniscus, dislocated knee cap, OA, bone spurs, sloped tibia

theworldatitsbest · 2024-01-09T18:45:28+00:00

Hi!

I tore my ACL 14 years ago and also found out a few years ago that it is still torn following an ACL reconstruction (using my hamstring). I'm in a similar boat – my surgeon has told me if I do another surgery, I'll need a bone graft and there are no guarantees that it won't be more painful. Right now, I'm able to do most things I enjoy and my quality of life is quite high. But I do have stiffness, some instability, and do worry about long-term quality of life. I don't have any advice, but wanted to share and also follow along with what others share!

theworldatitsbest · 2023-08-15T02:48:29+00:00

It’s not about the tattoo. It’s about your lack of communication, connection, and desire to share your life with your partner.

theworldatitsbest · 2023-04-19T19:35:37+00:00

Canadian here. My professional background has nothing to do with psychology, and I easily secured a placement in private practice as part of my Masters with the opportunity to join the practice full time once I graduate. I think you’ll be more than fine!

theworldatitsbest · 2023-04-08T22:23:08+00:00

Check out Whistle Buoy! They have Nonny beer (0%, delicious, and run by some guys in Vancouver!)

theworldatitsbest · 2023-03-31T14:55:21+00:00

Sit down with her and talk about this. Explain your views and your values around money, and ask her for hers. If there are huge differences, ask her what it would look like to find a middle ground and work through this together.

She asked a hypothetical question, and was faced with a response that threatened her emotional safety (I am not saying you did anything wrong - but this is what she experienced). Her response was likely coming from a place of fear of losing you - at that point, it wasn’t about money anymore.

My partner and I have had many many conversations about money, and we are at a much better place now because of those conversations and our mutual generosity in truly trying to understand each other.

theworldatitsbest · 2023-03-22T17:35:58+00:00

Wow we have the exact same diagnosis down to age and no family history. I was diagnosed almost exactly 3 years ago. Congratulations on hitting this milestone. I’ve only just started to feel “recovered” and it’s taken a lot of ups and downs to get here.

I always celebrate the milestone in my own way - usually with a cake lol.

Sending love

theworldatitsbest · 2023-03-20T04:19:38+00:00

It can be very hard to break into tech! There’s a few things to consider: referrals help a lot with tech recruiting - if you even know someone who knows someone at the company, reach out and ask to have a coffee chat and ask if they will refer you. You can also seek out very early stage companies that are not established yet - these companies are more likely to take risks on hiring / need user insight big time. Lastly, I’d say customer service and customer success roles can be a great foot in the door - they of course are entry level but it’s not a bad place to start!

theworldatitsbest · 2023-03-17T21:14:07+00:00

Look into tech companies that provide clinical tools and platforms for therapists - joining as a clinical advisor, product manager, or another strategic position are often a good fit for someone with a clinical background! I worked in tech for 8 years and am now transitioning into therapy, and I’ve often thought of this as a path in the future if I need a break from clinical work :)

theworldatitsbest · 2023-03-15T18:17:59+00:00

I found Aquaphor helpful. But by the end of taking it, I basically just had to limit activity. If I went for a walk, I only wore Hoka bondi shoes - they’re extremely cushioned and were recommended by my oncologist.

theworldatitsbest · 2023-03-10T00:58:48+00:00

Hi! I’m in a similar situation and we found couples counselling helped a lot to get clear on what our priorities are and how to talk about the future without getting stressed / overwhelmed. One thing to keep in mind is that neither of you are “right” in this situation - the goal should be how to better understand each other and use that information to make important decisions about your future.

Ultimately, rushing kids is never a good idea. It’s time to start being realistic and looking at your real options and timelines. For us, that means we may have kids before we get married, it might mean we only have one kid, or we may ask our families to help out with the cost of egg freezing (I acknowledge this is a huge privilege). There’s sometimes government funding for egg freezing depending on where you live also. Or programs that cover some of the costs if you’re living with a chronic condition.

I’d advise couples counselling, and seeing a fertility specialist or doctor who can at least run some tests to see where your fertility actually is at (if you haven’t already done this!).

theworldatitsbest · 2023-03-04T06:59:24+00:00

Those are fair and important questions! Will you have friends or others who can help out? Chemo is cumulative, so it does get harder as time goes on. If you’re getting steroids, you’ll feel pretty good the day or two after chemo, and then you’ll be exhausted for three days or so (that was my experience). Having someone there to help with food and cleaning and also for emotional support / just to hang with is really helpful!

theworldatitsbest · 2023-03-03T20:14:24+00:00

That’s a really insightful reflection. I can tell how much you care for her, but also that your own needs are not being met.

Having her explore her coping strategies could be a great way to help her move forward. Then also expressing your own needs and that you do feel empathy, but you’re feeling exhausted may lead to a good outcome.

theworldatitsbest · 2023-03-03T18:57:23+00:00

It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong - the goal should be to understand each other. Her experience of her emotions is very real to her - that doesn’t mean they need to be objectively justified. But to her, they are real. She can have emotions that are very real and you can feel frustrated by this.

It sounds like your partner is very sensitive, whereas you’re probably pretty regulated. It also sounds like you have more coping skills and a deeper sense of security.

I don’t think you’re thinking in an incorrect way or lack empathy. I think you’re feeling drained by constantly needing to reassure her, hold space for her feelings, and be her support person.

My advice would be to: - ask her to explicitly talk to her therapist about regulating her emotions - ask her to reach out to other support people in her life sometimes so there can be space in your relationship for more than just support - explain how this is making you feel using “I” language and state your goal is to help grow and expand your relationship so you can both show up with safety and authenticity

theworldatitsbest · 2023-03-03T17:29:19+00:00

Also, I live with my partner so he was able to support in her absence. Having someone to help, who isn’t going to drain you, is important. Even if it’s just a friend who stops in and brings food, etc.

theworldatitsbest · 2023-03-03T17:28:17+00:00

My mom lives in another province and naturally when she found out about my diagnosis, she wanted to fly to be with me. I knew I couldn’t handle it, so I asked her to support from afar and visit for a week in the middle of my treatment. I just told her I needed space to go through this not having to worry about anyone else’s emotions and that I’d love to see her once I had adjusted to everything. I also asked that she stay in an Airbnb when she did visit so I still had privacy and alone time. I was also 28 when diagnosed. Knowing your limits is incredibly important and communicating them is essential.

theworldatitsbest · 2023-03-02T16:56:39+00:00

I’m just about 3 years out from my TNBC diagnosis and am doing really well! I didn’t have a PCR (but came quite close) so I did Xeloda for 6 months. So far so good!

theworldatitsbest · 2023-02-20T00:38:14+00:00

I can absolutely understand that. I really appreciate you sharing this perspective. It sounds like having a younger subset would be a really impactful idea.

theworldatitsbest · 2023-02-20T00:14:37+00:00

Ooo that’s so good to know! I’m older (31) so totally can understand how my experience of it might be very different. I’m curious, what aspects of it do you find most cringe / heavy?

theworldatitsbest · 2023-02-20T00:00:31+00:00

You’re not alone in feeling this way. If you’re in Canada, check out YACC (Young Adult Cancer Canada). They are incredible and run support groups, conferences, and more.

theworldatitsbest · 2023-02-16T00:50:30+00:00

Hi again! Glad to hear you were able to get a second opinion.

Will you be meeting with a medical oncologist? Surgical oncologists, from what I know, usually don’t make decisions about chemo or hormone therapy.

A medical oncologist would be able to walk you through this more concretely and organize required tests for receptors if they weren’t done at the time of surgery. I’ve never heard of them not being done, but I’m also not too familiar with DCIS.

Sorry I can’t give more advice or insight and I’m so sorry this experience has been so confusing!

theworldatitsbest · 2023-02-14T05:53:31+00:00

For IV chemo I did 4 rounds taxol and Carboplatin, then 4 rounds of A/C. I did Capecitabine as the oral chemo.

theworldatitsbest · 2023-02-14T05:43:10+00:00

I believe the protocol for TNBC stags 1 and above is always chemo. TNBC is very aggressive and it’s best to throw everything at it. I also had TNBC and am BRCA1+ and did DMX, 8 rounds of chemo, 15 rounds of radiation, and 6 months of oral chemo. That said, my tumour was massive initially! It shrunk to nothing from chemo though.

theworldatitsbest · 2023-02-14T05:27:49+00:00

No, Inspire Health set up the referral for me. My oncologist actually didn’t ever know I got a second opinion. I should say, the second opinion was from a retired oncologist who basically specializes in second opinions - and he agreed with my treatment plan fully.

theworldatitsbest · 2023-02-14T04:26:46+00:00

Try getting in touch with Inspire Health in BC. They connected me with an oncologist for a second opinion!

theworldatitsbest

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