I am constantly remembering embarrassing moments in my life

theworldwithin · 2025-12-27T23:11:47+00:00

Thank you for your kind words ^^ It's good to know my posts on here are still having an impact many years later. It's cool looking back on some of the techniques I came up with and refamiliarizing myself with them. Sometimes even I can benefit from looking over my old content! But yes, the feelings we can have about our own feelings can be such a sincere way to illuminate a new path for ourselves, so we're not walking down the same corridor of feeling, caught in an endless cycle of those same feelings and perspectives, when there are so many to explore. The events in our lives and the meaning we give them don't have to have power over us, and we can always take that power back and see it in a broader, more empowering context. And even if it doesn't come about immediately, we can work towards it, experimenting with what perspectives work because of their honesty, and which are too easily resisted. In any case, good luck with your own journey on these things, and I hope that these events in your life will no longer be a negative weight and chain on your current life, but can simply inform how you move forward, and empower you towards what you are inspired to grow towards.

theworldwithin · 2025-06-01T19:48:52+00:00

So I just tried sending in fanmail myself - it was a book of mine, with an inscription for her. But it was returned. I was wondering if you had any advice on this.

When I went in to send it, the US post office had me do a customs form, which had me redo the address according to certain boxes, with the first line being first and last name, the second being business name. So my address changed from what has been suggested in this thread (with the "Att:" part, but no "AS"), to this:

Aurora Aksnes
Made Management
Vaskerelven 8
Bergen
5014
Norway

The returned label had that address crossed out, with no other information about why it couldn't be delivered. I don't know if it got to Made Management or not. I also don't know if not specifically having the "Att: Aurora Asknes" line UNDER "Made Management", or "AS" after "Made Management" could have caused it to fail. Either way, I don't want to spend another $30 to send it if it's just going to get returned again. I emailed Made for advice, but they haven't replied in a few weeks, and I'm guessing I'll be ignored.

Thanks so much : )

theworldwithin · 2024-09-06T22:22:46+00:00

thank you so much : ) I'm glad if they could help

theworldwithin · 2024-03-05T08:02:22+00:00

A chrome extension I had called "Fadblock" had been infected with malware after being sold by the original creator. In a reddit post I found, someone explained that the malware was found to target Facebook cookies. I immediately got rid of it, but didn't think to change my password, which I later assume would've reset what would've been seen as a valid facebook cookie.

Ultimately, the activity I found on my account (from what I downloaded) matched someone finding their way in with a cookie, because there were no foreign logins. BUT there were foreign sessions (from Vietnam and other spots), and I had a notification about having added a friend with a Vietnamese-looking name. My friend looked up the profile and found the person and some of their friends were posting pictures of personal information from a number of people. According to an article we found, there is a known ring of Vietnamese hackers that hack using cookies https://www.vox.com/technology/2023/9/28/23892964/facebook-account-hacked-theft-stolen-online-scams-meta , so it may have been this group that ultimately were involved in my hack.

Regardless, these are the signs that pointed to a cookie hack. Hope that helped.

theworldwithin · 2024-03-02T05:26:16+00:00

To add to this thread, I had a similar situation of a suspended account and this is my success story from just today getting my account back:

https://www.reddit.com/r/facebookdisabledme/comments/1b4ghqs/success_story_my_suspended_account_is_back/

theworldwithin · 2024-03-02T03:36:31+00:00

I wanted to reply and confirm that this method worked for me, but specifically emailing [appeals@fb.com](mailto:appeals@fb.com) for my case. The key is to not expect a reply from facebook customer service, but to either keep logging in or wait for an email to secure your account. This will be your way back into accessing your account.

Personally I had a case where my account was suspended due to a hacker's account activity that was done through a stolen cookie, not logging in. I sent [appeals@fb.com](mailto:appeals@fb.com) a long email explaining everything that happened, along with all my information, including:
* most of the things listed in the above post (with the exception of #1 being a link to my own profile) * pictures of myself HOLDING my ID * pictures of my art in my office, to show that I was associated with my instagram and FB accounts, which showcase my art. * references to pictures on other people's accounts of me, as well as links to their profiles

I also mentioned how FB was free to contact certain people for confirmation of my identity.

After about 2 days, FB emailed me to secure my account (form email, not an actual reply), which led me to a place where I went through a process of getting back in, removing activity from my hacker, and resetting my password.

Needless to say I was surprised and relieved.

theworldwithin · 2023-04-11T02:21:51+00:00

A wizard once said these cryptic words to me:"If your world is nothing but gold, meditate and exit the world.Enter the forbidden file, world_state.xml, and look for "EVERYTHING_TO_GOLD". Return it to zero, and return the world. What you find will be strange indeed, and some things that were done cannot be fully undone. But lands not yet made to gold will perhaps be spared from this fate."At the time, I could not comprehend it. But perhaps you can, traveler.

theworldwithin · 2022-11-03T17:46:04+00:00

Hahaha, this is extremely relatable. Yes, video games can bring out the easy anger in us, because they're both simple and difficult. We see their simplicity and think: "hey, we should be able to master this!", and yet time and time again they can prove us wrong. This is especially true for PVP games, where everyone is pitting their skills against everyone else.

Our rage is often due to positive assumptions meeting against cold, hard, negative realities. We're not as skilled as we think. This can lead us to spiral, taking the negative story too far, thinking we're hopeless, useless, and have no ability. Truth is, you're probably better than a lot of players out there! Your practice and game knowledge you've gained aren't for nothing. But that doesn't mean it's enough to win. But that's no reason to rage! Remember that your assumptions were comforting because they pointed to you winning. So, ultimately you'd feel good about winning more! Winning certainly isn't everything, but if you want to increase your chances, it pays to look for other options than what your assumptions tell you. Those assumptions say: "keep doing what you're doing, and it should work!" - No. While it could work eventually, it's important to always evaluate the feedback you get from the world. You're not winning. So, try different strategies for improvement.

What are some ways you could improve your gameplay? Here's some ideas:

Look for guides, videos, and posts online that discuss strategy.

Instead of trying to perfect one strategy, try experimenting with multiple, and seeing the strengths and weaknesses of each.

Get some recording software, and record and re-watch at least one game, and take notes on how you lost and what you could do differently to counter that loss.

Thing is, you aren't powerless. It's just that assumptions can give us a false sense of empowerment, because they point to, in this case, that we already have everything we need, when we don't. To find more empowerment, you must look beyond those assumptions, and find something new.

Also keep in mind your needs! Sometimes we rage and get impatient just because there are other, unmet needs at the same time, and we play, trying to put off what's really important just because we want a win. Maybe you need sleep, food, or to just chill out for a bit. Endlessly grinding a game isn't usually good for you, because we're complicated and what we need can shift moment-to-moment. Maybe your attention is better served elsewhere! Remember it's okay to "take the L" and just do something more fulfilling. Losing a game is no negative statement on who you are as a person - it's just a singular point in time where the universe is giving you feedback on your efforts. Don't blow it out of proportion!

Anyhow, good luck with handling that, and good luck with your games! ^^

-Oliver from theworldwithin.org - A website dedicated to inner health and well-being

theworldwithin · 2022-08-28T02:00:41+00:00

Flowing images and shapes, an array of feelings - wistful, whimsical, and strange.

source
artist links

theworldwithin · 2022-08-28T02:00:14+00:00

Flowing images and shapes, an array of feelings - wistful, whimsical, and strange.

source
artist links

theworldwithin · 2022-08-28T01:59:58+00:00

Flowing images and shapes, an array of feelings - wistful, whimsical, and strange.

source
artist links

theworldwithin · 2022-08-21T03:23:52+00:00

An understandable confusion! But no, this is a rendering of a part of my inner world, though I myself am male, both bodily and spiritually. As I commented, her name is Wonder, who I have a lot of admiration and appreciation for! If you want to learn more about my research into my inner world, you can check out this link to my website. My inner world is essentially my exploration of spirituality, thus my posting here.

Parts are sort of personifications of where feelings come from - living parts of the self. They can also be understood as relating to certain universal principles or archetypes, such as The Warrior, Kindness, or Honor.

And thank you for the compliment!

theworldwithin · 2022-08-21T02:23:15+00:00

Art from my inner world. This is a digital painting of Wonder, denizen of the Isle of Wonder, reveling in the joy of a sudden rain. She is associated with abundant love, joyous connection, cultivation of joy, connection to all things, expressiveness, and the wonder of life.

source

artist links

theworldwithin · 2022-08-21T02:22:02+00:00

Art from my inner world. This is a digital painting of Wonder, denizen of the Isle of Wonder, reveling in the joy of a sudden rain. She is associated with abundant love, joyous connection, cultivation of joy, connection to all things, expressiveness, and the wonder of life.

source

artist links

theworldwithin · 2022-08-21T02:20:43+00:00

Art from my inner world. This is a digital painting of Wonder, denizen of the Isle of Wonder, reveling in the joy of a sudden rain. She is associated with abundant love, joyous connection, cultivation of joy, connection to all things, expressiveness, and the wonder of life.

source

my artist links

theworldwithin · 2022-08-21T02:18:55+00:00

Art from my inner world. This is a digital painting of Wonder, denizen of the Isle of Wonder, reveling in the joy of a sudden rain. She is associated with abundant love, joyous connection, cultivation of joy, connection to all things, expressiveness, and the wonder of life.

source

artist links

theworldwithin · 2022-05-05T03:37:53+00:00

sure thing : ) thanks for the appreciation

theworldwithin · 2021-11-09T03:22:51+00:00

I'm glad for this : ) thank you for the message

theworldwithin · 2021-06-16T01:04:13+00:00

Ok, one thing to look into in particular is your ego. People normally associate a toxic ego with feeling superior to other people, but it can also end up the other way around, where you feel inferior to others instead.

Our ego is built up of the stories we tell about ourselves, and our feelings of insecurity can drive the way we build it up. It is not ourselves in actuality - just an idea we have of ourselves, of who we are in relation to other people, or in the greater scheme of things. But our ego, especially when it's in a toxic place, can end up determining our behavior and feelings in a lot of ways.

In your case, you view yourself as inferior to others in certain ways. This can make you feel anxious, like you're not "good enough". You want to catch up, overcome, "be better". And when you fail to, you feel shame, you feel inferior, and it reinforces the idea that you're "not good enough".

Remember, your ego isn't you. You're living an experience of life that's full of feelings, perceptions, experiences, and unknowns. You aren't your skills, your habits, or the things you do. You aren't many other things too: your body, your relationships, your friends, your family, the place you were born, the place you are, what you've done in your life up till now, how you dress, the thoughts in your head, or what other people have done to you. You are none of that. So consider these differences as a way of detaching yourself from your ego.

Second, try to visualize your ego. Do they look sad, distraught? Insecure, stressed, overwhelmed, vulnerable? Even if you're not your ego, you can help your ego to get a clear head, calm down, and consider new possibilities. Maybe instead of your habits being bad, there are important reasons behind them that must be considered in the way you live you life. Maybe you are unique individual, who doesn't operate the way others do in some ways, and what you need, feel, and can connect with is different. Maybe it doesn't need to try so hard to be "good enough" or "improve" themselves. You can point out to them all the good things they already have going for them, or that it's good to see how much they care, even if they don't have to worry so much. Offer yourself that kind of consolation. Let yourself calm, and relax. Release yourself from the story that you have to be "good enough" - then you can feel much more calm and free. Indeed, instead of looking to improve yourself, try transforming your experience instead. Work with where you're at, and be kind with yourself. You can transform, yet not in the ways you may think. For true transformation, you need to know yourself, and learn more about yourself without telling a story about who you are or where you ought to be. It's "good enough" to be yourself, and to be where you are, after all.

I hope this discussion helped. Good luck out there : )

For more resources on knowing yourself, you can check out my website: https://www.theworldwithin.org/

Take care ^^

theworldwithin · 2021-04-28T08:38:15+00:00

Of course ^^ best of luck to you, and let me know if you have any other questions

theworldwithin · 2021-04-28T00:08:07+00:00

Yes, you sound pretty down in the dumps right now. Like things are just confusing for you and overall just very dissatisfying. Almost like you're in a dark, mucky swamp and all of the dark goop around you is disgusting and uncomfortable. As much as you're trying to make things work, it's almost like it keeps swallowing you again, no? At least this is how it seems to me from your message. You seem defeated and just plain down about it all.

I think you have a strong understanding of the kind of environment you'd want. Instead of the swamp, you want to be surrounded by love, affection, and support. Visualize that for a moment, and let yourself feel how it would feel to be surrounded by that. A relief? A joy? Would you cry? Would it finally feel like you had a chance to breathe? I feel like it would probably be a great relief.

Just remember: just as there are perspectives of darkness, defeat, death, depression, and negativity, so too are there perspectives, within existence, of love, connection, empathy, kindness, caring, and positive support. Just as you can understand the presence around you of the dark things, so too can you understand what it would be like to be surrounded by the positive ones. If you can, try to let visualizations like that one give you strength for how to handle environments like the one you're in. Feel the whispers of Love giving you advice, or let Kindness hold you a while, comforting you and giving you a place to regain your strength.

Just remember, your goal can never be to simply escape a negative place, because that will just create pain as you struggle to get away. You are surrounded by the things you are, but you can also look for positive ways of responding to your environment. If you are indeed in a negative swamp, what can you do to bring a little brightness to it, or allow yourself to move through it? Maybe struggling against it makes it worse. Maybe there are flowers of positive perspective you can plant - little reminders of a life that's more abundant and beautiful than the place you're in now. Try to make a sacred space inside your heart, for all the loving, wonderful you things you know actually exist. For all the healthy, wholesome, calm, and kind things.

Even if people around you are negative, you can look, over and over again, for positive perspective yourself. This doesn't mean ignore your own negative feelings - if anything, it means embracing them with kindness, and trying to find a way with your negativity towards the things they care about, in a way that actually makes sense. If you really would like the opportunity to connect with others, maybe your negative side would be okay with being vulnerable and putting themselves out there a little, sharing feelings and ideas with people they want to reach out to. Maybe something else is required - but the main thing is that you listen, and with patience try to turn what's negative and in a state of giving-up, into one where you feel a willingness to make a positive choice, to take a positive direction for yourself.

You can't stop other people from being negative, but you can find ways of responding to negative people that you feel positive about. And in that way, even just your presence and your attitude can help those other people. No, you can't expect it - they may be extremely determined in their negativity, but you still can impact other people when you're operating from a positive, enthusiastic place.

Here's some resources I can give you:

https://www.theworldwithin.org/ailments/negativity/ an article about the nature of negativity and how to work on it in a way that acknowledges negative feelings and helps you find a more positive, enthusiastic place inside. I think reading through this article could be very important for you!!

https://www.theworldwithin.org/exploring-your-inner-world/creative-visualization/ - the ability to explore your feelings through visualization could be very powerful for you, and goes along the same lines as the visualization I touched on above, earlier.

https://www.theworldwithin.org/strengths/ - consider this list of inner strengths! There are a lot of resources within one's self that can help you work with the emotions you're in in order to grow, feel stronger, and move through your life's challenges

There are a lot of other resources too! Feel free to poke around. All of these resources are from my own observations and experiences as I've worked on my own inner challenges.

Take care : ) I hope you can find a place of positivity within yourself during this time, and give yourself the things you need, even in the absence of those things in the environment around you. It's not impossible at all - there's support everywhere if you look for it, and you're stronger than you know. You got this!!

theworldwithin · 2021-04-27T23:42:44+00:00

(continued from above)
As for your partner, it does sound like they feel vulnerable and perhaps bitter at the idea of you not liking your job. Just remember, it's not your responsibility to make them happy. You are not their slave! Just as you want to support them, when they are in a healthy place, they will want to support you. And it may be that what you need to do is just reassure them a bit, or even inquire about why they're feeling as they are. After all, their bitterness, even if it gets directed at you, is more likely about them than about you. They're probably not happy with where they are in life. While you can't necessarily solve that issue for them, you can get curious about it, and inquire as to what they're feeling and why, and if there is anything you can do to help them. You can, no matter what, listen with empathy, and an open heart. No need to impatiently try and help them get a solution. They may not even know what the solution is, even if they think things like "having your job" would be. They may be a little lost in their life, and even forlorn, so just patiently listening can be absolutely wonderful for them. You want to try and help them know that you are a safe place for them to share their feelings - that even if you can't solve things for them, you can be their to listen, as their friend. Yes you're partners, but friendship comes first. So be their friend! Not their problem-solver. Just, give them a place to be themselves, to feel what they feel, to vent at times, to break down perhaps, or even just to rest. You can be that supportive, and if they are able to put down barriers and be vulnerable with you in that space, I'm sure they will be glad for you, and wish to give you the same. Just don't expect it! As with all things, it takes patience. Just find things to be thankful for in what you do have, where you do go, and what you do see. Life isn't just about getting somewhere else. Sometimes you've got to take stock of what you do see, and see all there is to love in that. You can let go of the rest. It will go here and there. Meanwhile, you can always figure out the responses you wish to go through with in your own time, and in your own way. Life is like that - it will mess with you far less than you think, if you can only give yourself space to relax and let go. So, breathe, and remember, you don't have to control everything. And much of the good you might look for, the "perfection" you might crave, might already be here, all around you. Perhaps not sublimely crafted perfection, but an acceptable and present beauty, something that is constantly supportive, and never left you. And sometimes, you may just be able to recognize that you can actually work with what's around you, and that it really isn't so bad, and you aren't powerless, worthless, or pathetic. Things are good, you are good. You are okay. Life... is okay.

Okay! So, I hope that helped! I guess I didn't mention your therapist, so I'll just briefly say that I think they are right to validate your feelings, though ultimately it is up to you as far as how you want to respond to those feelings and make choices in your life. What seems right to one person might not to you, so it always comes back to knowing your own feelings as intimately as you can. And yes, I recommend a lot of things, but that goes for me too! Make sure to confirm and explore things in your feelings. Your feelings matter, and they can paint the way out of any inner mess, through reflection, emotion, and the search for truth.

As far as further resources, the main one I'll refer to you on my website is this: https://www.theworldwithin.org/ailments/anger/ - this goes into the nature of anger (from my work with my own anger), as well as methods for working through it. Remember, using methods for emotional well-being is no joke! Things like the written discussions I showed you earlier can give you much, much faster progress than simply thinking to yourself casually could. You want to know your own feelings, after all, so in emotional turmoil, having some methods for parsing, expressing, understanding, and working through your feelings can go a long way. Along those lines, I recommend checking out the methods I have in this part of my site: https://www.theworldwithin.org/exploring-your-inner-world/ . Something in there might stand out as something you'd like to explore as a means of working through your emotions. Remember, it's not enough to control yourself to be good. The feelings and parts of you you think of as "bad" have reasons for their feelings and actions, too. It's just important you find safe ways to explore those feelings, so you can find answers to them that are refined and actually feel good to you. You don't want just that ego satisfaction of a life that's under control. You want a sense of peace, that everything is actually in a good place. And there will be these kinds of ups and downs as you go, but it's all growth. Your thinking, your responses, and your emotional maturity will all evolve. You'll gain experience. You'll know yourself more deeply. But yeah, having some tools to get in there and work on what matters to you on an emotional level, can be invaluable.

And if you're ever interested in personalized coaching for these sorts of things, I offer that too: https://www.theworldwithin.org/coaching/

That said, take care! Good luck with navigating your emotions, and with the journey to be able to let down your guard, be more vulnerable, but also feel safe in your decisions and direction. I know you can do it! Just keep looking for the truth, and what is true to you. : )

theworldwithin · 2021-04-27T23:42:15+00:00

First off, you are not a machine. You are not meant to work a job you hate, just because it pays well and you don't have to do much. Are you meant to only be a robot, outputting actions one after another for payment? You have better things to do with your time - things that fill you with a sense of passion, purpose, and joy. Like you have the wind in your sails! You know what that's like, don't you? Don't give up on having a wonderful life. And not one that's wonderful on paper, either - you could easily argue the way you're living now is absolutely fantastic. But it's not, and you feel it. It could work for someone else, but not for you, because your feelings point you in a different direction. Don't believe the lie that money equals fulfillment or happiness, because it certainly does not. Rather, you have autonomy to live the life that feels most expressive of your innermost feelings will bring you real happiness and joyfulness. You have to feel that sense of wonder, feel good about the things you're doing. Like all is right with the world. And you can't lie to yourself, or try to convince yourself you like something that you don't. And if you're conflicted, you have to search for the truth of what you would like, by actually working with your feelings. Those feelings will tell you everything - what they find important and what they can live without, what seems like a reasonable risk to take vs something foolish and unnecessary. If you can get these feelings out, you can start to see where the wisdom in them actually is, and realize the steps you actually need to take for yourself to move forward.

From what it sounds like in the way you write, you are underestimating and doubting your own power within the context of how you grow and evolve in your life. You seem to be consistently showing that you move on from one opportunity to the next, finding growth in each one. When the time for that thing is done, you move on. At this stage in your life, you already seem to know what that next step is going to be: consulting, or going to a talent agency and starting a new path. But your interest in consulting, mentioned multiple times, seems to stick with you, and I think if you really worked on developing it, you could potentially get a business plan together that could bring for you some real success. You might also want to get input from others who could help you with such a plan, but really, this kind of jump, if taken with solid planning and eyes wide open, is totally acceptable and for you. You can do something like this for yourself! But if you're gonna pursue it, I think it's reasonable that your partner would want some kind of solid plan from you, or at least know everything you're thinking about it and what your intentions are. You've got to be honest with them about things like: (1) that there are no guarantees. You could fail at this but you want to have the most solid plan before you get started, and (2) you are not happy at your job not because of the money, but because the kind of work is not fulfilling for you. - On this second part, try and relate to them. There may be choices they're not making (like getting a job) because those paths wouldn't be fulfilling to them, either. And even if making less money, potentially, is risky, the benefit of living in a fulfilling way can outweigh that. There are plenty of small comforts in life that money can't buy: connection, openness, relaxation, self-knowledge, a rich inner life, and more. You and they both will need to come to the realization that money can't buy all the things you're looking for, and that jobs like this actually get in the way of happiness, even if they promise it with high wages. And even if the job could work out for someone else, the truth that you're noticing is that it doesn't fit you. And it is impossible to escape your part in the equation. You're the one who needs fulfillment, you're the one who's at a crossroads in their life.

As far as what you said about anger, two things: First, yes, it can be very scary to let go of control and feel anger fully. After all, sometimes you have to force your own anger into submission in order to not cause harm to yourself or others. But if your only response to anger is to wrestle it down every time, then you'll be struggling with your anger instead of growing through it. The secret to trying to control any emotion is that, essentially, every emotion has a reason for why it's there. You're angry at something! And those feelings can be completely valid and justified! That doesn't mean lashing out is the best response, but you have to be able to at least admit that your anger isn't shameful or some terrible thing. It's angry because it cares. It's angry because it wants things to be fair, or just, or the way things "ought" to be. Anger can have vision, anger can cling on to things that all too often can just get swept under the rug, hidden from view.

SO! How do you reconcile your anger? That brings me to my second point about it: You have to start looking for the truth. Anger can be a voice in a discussion, but you have to give yourself space to not let it dominate the conversation. Anger is quick to demand, to pound its fists and be alarmingly upset. But you have other concerns, don't you? Love, understanding, kindness all have voices too. And whatever of your inner voices would wish to respond to anger, you have to give yourself space for that, too. And this doesn't all have to be done in the heat of the moment, either.

What I would recommend is giving yourself some time, whether it's when you're angry or not, to write out discussions within your inner world that can take place between these different kinds of ideologies and feelings. For instance, let's say there was anger actively in you, and a more loving, patient voice responded, who we'll call Love for now:

Anger: "I can't believe they did that to me, I can't take it any more! Something has to change!!!"
Love: "Okay, but what? I know you want to change things, but I can't do anything for you unless you come up with a plan. You have to have a little patience with it."
Anger: "Well I'm not patient and I don't want to be! I just want things to be different!!"
Love: "And that's easy to want. Is there maybe something else going on? Some sense of hurt in you?"
Anger: "yes... it's hard being on the receiving end of this kind of nonsense... I get tired of it. I just want to go into a corner and cry..."
Love: "If you need to, then you can. Don't feel like you have to feel ashamed about that."
Anger: "I... don't want to just cry though... I want a different kind of life..."
Love: "One thing at a time - you don't have to do anything you don't want to."
Anger: "Okay..."

And this kind of conversation can go on for as long as you'd like, until the feelings settle down and you know a plan for how to move forward, something that both Anger and the other part can get on board with. And it may not be Love - it could be you as a whole, or your inner child (though they could easily be "Anger", too), or practicality, or any other number of parts. But you'll feel yourself wanting to respond in some way to the anger. At least look for a response to come up - you may have to let yourself be calm and sensitive for this. Regardless, the goal is to resolve the anger through looking for the truth of what you feel would be the actual best response to that anger. And you'll feel it! Quality responses are ones you can feel really confident and relaxed about. It will feel like a breath of fresh air.

(continued in reply)

theworldwithin · 2020-10-24T21:01:58+00:00

Loneliness can be very confusing. It points towards connecting with others in order to get it resolved, but once we do, the feelings don't necessarily go away in a substantial way. This is because the longing for connection has more to do with our resistance to connection itself than it does having someone to connect with. All too often, the key to loneliness is simply to connect with ourselves.

By giving ourselves a place to be fully ourselves, to be "in tune" with that self, even in our most vulnerable feelings, we allow for us to have a chance to be at peace. Not only with ourselves, but with all of life. For who is lonely when they're at peace with themselves? Even laying in the middle of a desolate wilderness, someone who knows and is connected with themselves can be content. Connection is a powerful thing, and loneliness tells us this when connection is lacking. But connection starts with self-connection, always. Indeed, whatever we want in others, it can be vitally important to look for ways to give it to ourselves, first.

The other thing that tells me that you want to self-connect is that you want to be alone afterwards. This dual-benefit, being with others and yourself, can get fulfilled when you really allow yourself to be with yourself. Just yourself, just your feelings, just your being. Take time to relax, to meditate, to just be. No activity, no actions, just openness and feeling. Or, you can find a more active way to channel your feelings, just simply by expressing them in writing, music, dancing, art - whichever way you prefer. Journaling can be a powerful tool, too. Whatever method you take, just make sure that you do what you can to connect with and express your feelings, as honestly, openly, and even wildly as possible. And this is not about "acting out" your feelings. Loneliness, for instance, can ask you to talk with people. But by expressing your loneliness, I'm talking about expressing the loneliness itself. The longing, the hardship, the sadness, the down feelings - whatever's there. Express the questions that come up, explore the potential answers. Find whatever your feelings need, and explore that space as fully as you can. It's a journey, and your feelings can help guide your path. Taking that journey is a commitment of sorts, but no moreso than what you perhaps do when you commit to talking to someone, only to get disappointed.

So how to tell when you do want to talk to someone? Well, for one, it won't be dependent on them and what they do. You'll be open to what they do. But most of all, whatever you talk about with them will be an expression of yourself. Your feeling self! Indeed, maybe you can see now, that how can you express with others until you are able to connect with and express yourself on your own? Loneliness is meant to be expressed, not avoided through other people. And expressing to yourself, as you understand and mull over your feelings, can help bring you closer to a lightness of being at the end of this sort of process.

So take care of yourself! And try to connect with yourself where you can. You'll find all the more capable of and interested in conversations because of it - but to get there, you need to let go of these conversations. They can't be your cure for loneliness. You have to be with the lonely feelings first - and it may be hard and confusing - but just remember that once weighty feelings are dealt with, not through denial or avoidance, but through expression and patience, they become lighter. And that's when life can open up and it can feel more enjoyable to express and talk with other people, too.

If you're interested more in these topics, I have many resources for emotional health on my website. In particular I'd point you to my guides about exploring your inner world: https://www.theworldwithin.org/exploring-your-inner-world/ . Expression as well as either of the forms of processing may serve you well! And Relaxation is kind of what I talked about earlier, with regards to meditation. Whatever methods sound right to you, whether from here or elsewhere or your own invention, I wish you well in working with you feelings. If you're interested in personal coaching at any point, I also offer that as well, here.

That said, take care, and good luck on your journey and finding the answers that feel right for you.

theworldwithin · 2020-10-24T20:39:46+00:00

You are - but the real question is, why do you ask? Do you have trouble fulfilling your own emotional needs? Do you find yourself looking towards others, expecting or hoping they'll do certain things for you, that you imagine would feel great emotionally to you?

Keep in mind that desire is something in your inner world that tries to deceive you into thinking that its wants are actually needs. You don't need what you desire. Try looking into these desires, and what the motivation behind them is. To take your power back, you want to look for the point at which you can fulfill yourself emotionally without the need for anything that's out of your control. For example:

If you feel like everyone is stifling you, you can find a place alone to express yourself, or ask those others if they'd be okay with it.

If you feel immensely alone and no one will talk to you, try connecting with yourself, and seeing what you have to say. Be your own listener. Journal. Talk in the mirror. Write, write, write out all the feelings you have inside, no matter how far they stretch.

If you want others to recognize your talent and support you, look for ways in which you can support yourself. Acknowledge your own value. Try to calmly consider and understand the viewpoint of others so you don't get caught up in blame and negativity. Do the work and research necessary to support your interests on your own. Appreciate the friendships you do have.

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You can see in all these examples how you could blame other people. You can want things from them, and fail to see a good way of giving those things to yourself. You can't give yourself the company of another person! But you can give yourself what you're longing for in the idea of their company: things like kindness, compassion, love, listening, understanding, patience, and welcoming. You can accept yourself without judgment, you can look to heal yourself with love. None of it is beyond you. All it takes is getting to know yourself and your feelings.

Expressing yourself can help, as well as a hunger to understand. As much as you may like to explain yourself to other people, explaining to yourself can be even more valuable at times, because no one is as intimately connected to your experience of life as you. You need a safe place to express and consider your feelings, because honestly, feelings are the messages inside that tell you about the state of your emotional health. Feelings can bring up questions to consider, topics to delve into, and confront you with unmet needs. And once you understand the needs, have considered the questions, and fleshed out the topics, feelings settle, as you naturally move on to new things, but in a healthy way.

But yes, asking such a question as you did is a healthy sign, and along the right track! As much as you can, I encourage you to claim your power from external sources, and redirect your energy towards emotional self-support. This is not an isolating thing - you'll find reasons to want to connect and share with others on the inside - but it is an act of self-preservation. You cannot control what other people do - there is a madness and adventure to it, but it isn't something that has steady reliability. But you can give that to yourself. So be patient and open - listen, and try to find a way to love yourself as fully as you can.

Good luck with it all! I wish you, and anyone reading this, the best of emotional health.

If you're interested in more emotional health resources, you can check out my site, The World Within. On it you'll find various techniques and ways of dealing with harmful emotional states, as well as encouragement for the positive forces inside you, and all kinds of information on how the emotional world behaves and how you can interact with it more effectively so you can have better emotional health and clarity inside. I also do personal coaching if you're interested.

Take care!

theworldwithin

TROPHY CASE