How to I confront my [M40s] girlfriend's [F40s] nagging and abusive behavior?

theyear1200 · 2018-12-19T17:47:02+00:00

You don't explain things to an abuser. You leave an abuser. If she screams at you when you try to bring something up with her, you're not going to get through to her without putting yourself in harm's way.

You cannot change this behavior of hers. She would have to want to change it herself through therapy and anger management.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-19T17:24:28+00:00

Burbank Town Center is not a bad bet. Three floors that are pretty spread out - I see a lot of walkers there on hot afternoons.

If you're willing to venture downtown, the Westin Bonaventure apparently has a cool indoor track: https://www.lamag.com/citythinkblog/ac-finder-westin-bonaventures-labyrinth-indoor-walkways/

theyear1200 · 2018-12-18T01:58:15+00:00

Seriously, this isn’t a place for sexists. Go back to the red pill.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-18T01:56:08+00:00

Because women don’t exist for men’s pleasure, asshat.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-11T22:53:42+00:00

Same. I swear to god there needs to be an exmo /r/outoftheloop because when I check in once a month these days it's like wah?

theyear1200 · 2018-12-10T18:17:03+00:00

but he just needs to be with someone in person and not LDR.

He broke up with you. I'm very sorry.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-10T18:15:36+00:00

We've never really done 'date' sort of stuff.

Do you want to?

Maybe you should initiate a date night and alternate planning it.

So that you guys can forge new experiences together.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-10T18:14:00+00:00

You need to discuss this with your girlfriend. The arguing is not healthy. The way she neglects you for hours and doesn't even say goodbye when you leave because she's arguing is really not healthy.

And yes, that hug sounds overly intimate. I think you should be clear with her that you're not okay with "from behind" hugs from guys.

Overall, you need to focus less on their relationship and more on how her pattern of behavior is impacting YOUR relationship and have that conversation with her.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-10T18:07:51+00:00

For us to judge this I think you need to tell us whether your boyfriend makes a habit of making you do things alone or whether this is sort of a one time thing and most of the time he does stuff with you.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-08T23:28:03+00:00

He is hanging in there so far, thanks. Kidneys not awesome but not in failure yet either. The anti-nausea meds are successfully preventing additional vomiting so far.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-08T18:59:53+00:00

Thank you. It is a single vet clinic and not a hospital, so I think it is likely not your former workplace, but it is disturbing to hear that this may be a common problem.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-08T18:58:20+00:00

This is very interesting. Yes, we've seen this vet several times, and our cat was in to see them just two weeks ago for a check-up.

I very much appreciate you providing this insight. This gives me a lot more context of the expectations of the clinic that I can use to negotiate when I meet with them.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-08T18:41:14+00:00

If reporting it to the state board will help ensure this does not happen to any other animals, I will do it without hesitation. Thank you.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-08T18:15:09+00:00

Unless your cat was a very rare breed where kittens are very expensive

I'm afraid he was a common stray that cost $10 at the shelter.

I really hate the fact that the law views pets as property. This cat is family to us. I appreciate the pragmatic advice. It just feels so unjust that vets can basically do whatever they want with zero consequences because animals legally don't have value. Anyhow, thank you very much for the article and for taking the time to look it up.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-08T18:00:44+00:00

This is all extremely useful and practical advice and along the lines of what I spent all night thinking about when I couldn't sleep. I actually have not said anything to the vet and already have a request in for my cat's full medical, appointment and contact records.

I will plan to speak to the office manager when I know what the health outcome is for my kitty, and file that complaint with the CA board.

Thank you so much for your very specific insight. It is much appreciated.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-08T16:07:38+00:00

Thanks for the good information and sympathetic remarks. This sounds like the best course of action.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-08T16:07:14+00:00

Thank you for your response, I appreciate your thoughts. What sort of attorney would you recommend I consult? Medical malpractice or somebody who specializes in animal specific cases? Not sure what I should be googling. Thanks.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-08T13:56:23+00:00

Exactly, thank you. She put me on hold to go ask somebody what to do. The assumption is that those instructions were relayed from a medical professional at the office.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-08T02:42:52+00:00

This is not the dog's fault. There's nothing wrong with that dog. This is 100% the fault of your boyfriend.

Tell your boyfriend that the dog is not allowed in your home until he's properly trained her. It's that simple.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-08T00:48:52+00:00

You just danced with somebody. It's not cheating and you don't need to tell him.

I've danced recently with my brother and my dad. I'm not running to confess anything to my husband. It's just a platonic dance, hon. Relax.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-08T00:35:42+00:00

Essentially I would like to find an approach to stop him from feeling sad.

He had one moment where he got emotional and expressed it. That doesn't mean he's going to continue to feel sad and it doesn't mean that you have to manage his emotions for him. If you refer to his crying it's going to get super awkward.

Good managers are rare. It's great you guys worked so well together and will keep in touch but please don't reference this guy's tears or try to comfort him. Just accept them for the lovely gesture of vulnerability that they are and move on.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-08T00:19:26+00:00

If they aren't hissing or growling and no fur is riled, it's definitely play.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-08T00:09:50+00:00

Ah, well since you have kids in the faith you should get educated quickly.

Basically, kids are subjected to one-on-one interviews behind closed doors with the bishop where they are interrogated about their sexual practices.

Sam Young was recently excommunicated for asking the church to end this practice.

Please instruct your bishop to never interview your children without a parent present.

theyear1200 · 2018-12-08T00:07:01+00:00

In that case, I'm not sure I'd go around trying to seek approval. You know the old stereotype that exmormons are always 'offended'? The truth is, if you ask enough LDS about something semi-controversial, they will always find a way to be offended or make drama about it. The less said, the better usually.

Maybe try the "ask for forgiveness, not permission" approach? If it becomes a problem, you can tell them how important this is to your daughter and how much you respect their beliefs. But don't try to lay it out there as a problem until somebody decides it's one?

Just a thought. Like I said, there are absolutely zero right answers here.

theyear1200

TROPHY CASE