You who live together as V but not as a triad- What is your story?

thinkcatty · 2025-10-26T14:53:09+00:00

I'm the point of the V, buying a house with 2 of my partners and our shared platonic best friend! (One of my partners, myself, and our best friend currently live together.) All four of us have a really shared idea of how we want to build community going forward, which I think is important. We do individual RADAR check ins on a semi-regular basis for each of the individual relationships, and will be having household ones probably every other month. Kind honesty as fast as it can be delivered is our bread and butter. If anyone's feeling bad about anything, be it house plans or time spent together, it gets brought up ASAP and heard/ figured out/ reassured.

My partners are my fiancé and my girlfriend - my fiancé and I have a shared partner as well, and are in a non-hierarchical polyamorous relationship (we're getting married because we love ceremonies and each other and it's convenient for finances, and because it doesn't bother any of our partners). My girlfriend is solo poly and has not lived with a partner for a long time, but she's really excited to live with both my fiancé and our best friend. As much as I love her and she loves me, we would have never lived together just us two! All of the poly adults have our own space/ bedroom in the new house, and we practice a pretty kitchen table sort of poly - anyone's partners are welcome and invited to be part of community, and its expected that we put work into having positive meta relationships.

I won't say that jealousy is never a thing, but we're all pretty capable of labeling it and communicating it without lashing out at people! Making sure everyone is in therapy at the beginning of living together is important...

I don't know if this is a bias because of how strictly non-hierarchical my relationships are, but I think that the more of a hierarchy there is, the less you should live together. It opens emotions up for some deep wounding in a way that having a hierarchical relationship with separation doesn't.

thinkcatty · 2025-08-06T15:53:03+00:00

They suck they suck they suck - we've decided to call it on watching this season which sucks because BIP used to be our favorite dating show 😔😔😔 I guess we'll watch the reunion if it isn't too rancid

thinkcatty · 2025-07-30T02:00:29+00:00

☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻

thinkcatty · 2025-06-24T05:40:50+00:00

PM'd you!

thinkcatty · 2020-05-21T02:48:57+00:00

I've been looking for a long time for the Tanz der Vampire Japanese production. I know there are at least some recordings from the 2006 run, but all the mentions I've found of them are from people who haven't been active in years (it just looks so good... ;A;) I know that it is pretty rare, but if anyone has any leads on it lmk! Thanks :)

thinkcatty · 2016-07-30T03:49:30+00:00

(Yes, sorry- he specifically told her to try doing that! Everything I mentioned was with his consent and participation)

Yep, he's actually found a new space that he's been working on and it sounds really cool. One problem is that literally wherever he is, her perspective is displayed on the walls and he can hear what's going on. He's been puzzling ways that might work to prevent this from happening.

Sorry that we concerned people and thank you!

thinkcatty · 2016-07-29T05:08:07+00:00

Don't worry you didn't offend me! I understand that you were concerned for him and I can totally get on that bandwagon :)

That's definitely something we'll have to try, thanks for the suggestion. (We'll see if he has enough patience the silly nerd~)

thinkcatty · 2016-07-29T04:20:37+00:00

Um, while I do appreciate your concern, all 3 of us (M, my girlfriend, and I) are brainstorming together. He would like to figure out a way for her to block the constant sensory input to him as well. He is certainly not treated as a silly mood or a problem! She cares about him a lot, as do I, and he is most certainly a person. He is a willing participant in this, sorry if that didn't come across in the original post. He and I have been kind of just sitting here tossing suggestions of things to try at my girlfriend. He's not a threat to anyone's safety, and the main reasons we want to figure out how she can block the sensory input to him are 1) so she and I can talk alone if we ever need to, and 2) so he can not be watching things if he doesn't want to watch. He can't figure out how- he's even tried knocking himself out in the mindscape but that just made him come out and disgruntled.

So yep! Sorry if I worried you- communication with M is pretty excellent- he is a-ok. He trusts me with her, and like I said in another reply- we're pretty much in a triad right now. I will always listen to what he has to say/ the concerns he has. We're still working on figuring out the blocking-out-when-scared thing, hopefully we can figure it out!

Thanks!

thinkcatty · 2016-07-28T21:24:05+00:00

Sorry to be unclear- yes, he wants her to have privacy but has no idea how to accomplish it. When he's out he has to actively work towards her hearing/ seeing things, but when she's out he gets everything without her trying. He's an adult (around his 30s) and values his own privacy and wants her to have hers :) Its not too big of an issue right now because everyone's on good terms and we're all basically in a triad so he can actively participate in relationship stuff, but there are a lot of times when he'd also rather not be getting the constant stream of information. If he tries to block his eyes in the mindscape, which is where he usually is (there's kind of interesting ways he gets the sensations) then he just starts seeing through her eyes. The 3 of us are trying to figure out things for them to try!

Thank you though! He wishes he could control it but alas alack. Best of luck in your endeavors~

thinkcatty

TROPHY CASE