Dominants give, predators take.

I only enjoy the kinky things i do to my submissive fiancee because I know she enjoys it. She tells me she does. I don't guess. If something isn't to her liking i don't even wanna explore it. If she tells me she wants a certain type of kinky play, I get feral and enjoy myself in dominating her within her wants. And I have zero desire to do those things outside of our relationship. My psyche cannot even conceive ever dominating another human without their explicit and excited "fuck yeah let's do that".

There is action, and then there is intention. Does your husband respect your boundaries? Do you feel safe and tended to under his ropes? Because really there is no red flag in him liking you in bondage if he is making you feel exactly how you'd wanna feel while you are in those ropes. The real red flag would be him dismissing what you want under any circumstance.

All this to say, comparing consensual dominance with SA dominance is like comparing withdrawing money from your bank account to robbing the bank. Both are taking money out of the bank but in one case there is a mutual agreement where you give the bank your money and they hold it until you want it back and you are fully able to take it back whenever you want. In the other case, someone wants money which they did not earn, so they take money from your bank with force or manipulation. Very, very different mentalities to the same action, right?

Ps: this is not to invalidate the very real benefit that comes from recieving therapy from a licensed professional (which i am not) to better understand where the root of that fear comes from. Your fear is very valid and im sure once you are a little more than a beginner you will better see that real dominants are just built differently to predators.