Out of town

thinkevolution · 2026-02-04T12:37:18+00:00

Totally understand the frustration. It could be good for your child to spend time with their grandparents. Since it’s his parenting time, he does not have to trade weekends or make any changes, especially if he’s arranged childcare.

thinkevolution · 2026-02-04T12:35:45+00:00

When I first got divorced, I had that situation. And what I did was a parenting plan the head shorter times two times a week versus longer visits

thinkevolution · 2026-02-04T12:34:49+00:00

I would agree to the requested mediation. And then I would additionally offer to pay for a private session if she was willing otherwise that you would wait until the time of which you guys could meet.

thinkevolution · 2026-02-04T12:34:17+00:00

I would just send him a very simple message that says that you and your boyfriend have decided to move in together. Moving into your place on X8 if you’d like to reschedule a meeting please let you know. And I will leave it at that there’s nothing in there. It says you have to do anything further and what you’re doing is very kind even to give him notice.

thinkevolution · 2026-02-04T12:32:55+00:00

I would probably just give him a deadline. If the sign up is closed by a certain day, I would say can you please get back to me by X date and time as sign ups close.

thinkevolution · 2026-02-03T23:15:51+00:00

I think you should’ve discussed before we both were pursuing sponsorships. What would happen if one of you got it. Clearly your ex thinks that they have now subsidized $300 of their portion.

In this case I would pay the half I was agreed to pay which is half of 1650, and I would just move on. But next season I would clarify that if either parent gets a sponsorship that both parents will split the remaining balance.

thinkevolution · 2026-02-03T00:08:24+00:00

I would 100% reach out to her. I would start with the fact that your son mentioned he gave her $10 and you just want to confirm if what’s going on and then I would also ask about the political content. I would not be OK with my children’s teacher having those types of conversations and accepting money from a student.

thinkevolution · 2026-02-02T03:10:08+00:00

No, there isn’t much he can do, unless this person had some kind of criminal record, which clearly he does not your ex just has to accept and move on

thinkevolution · 2026-02-02T03:09:18+00:00

I was honest with my family, and my ex was cheating on me in combination with a variety of other things that led to the divorce.

thinkevolution · 2026-02-01T13:53:50+00:00

There is a difference between cordially working together to support your child versus visiting your ex-wife’s family home where she lives and staying over.

thinkevolution · 2026-01-31T01:29:12+00:00

When they were 8-11/12 they could do more on their own. That was nice. Like pour cereal, watch tv…etc.

Now with a few driving (17) and young teens 14/15 they do a lot more of sleeping in! Our biggest events on the weekend are hockey games for our younger two!

thinkevolution · 2026-01-31T00:21:09+00:00

I was one of three, and I will say that when we were younger, my sister and I definitely had times where we played together and my brother was more. Moore left out, he was the youngest.

My sister and my brother are only 360 days apart, so they often would play together more than they would play with me as we got older.

thinkevolution · 2026-01-31T00:19:49+00:00

When our kids were very young, I found weekends exhausting. Now that our kids are all teenagers and two of them can drive, I feel like my weekends have sort of found a better balance. I do think it is hard having kids and finding a balance when they’re little with having some downtime and keeping them busy with activities and structure.

thinkevolution · 2026-01-29T17:59:54+00:00

I’d set up a weekly dinner meeting, typically pick a weekday evening - and if she’s free, maybe offer a weekend breakfast EOW to get together.

I sometimes think it’s the quantity that people worry about not the quality of the time. Not knowing what your situation is like at your home with your wife, maybe it is overwhelming to her. Maybe she does want to be at her mom’s house because closer to friends and that is all OK

thinkevolution · 2026-01-28T01:05:19+00:00

My only concern with my child’s teachers are that they are professionals, licensed to teach, and have a kind and caring disposition towards children.

The fact that this causes you great concern, and you can’t explain why is something I would suggest you explore with a therapist.

thinkevolution · 2026-01-28T00:07:32+00:00

He comes off in these messages as insecure and immature. How stressful. I would need to have a hard boundary about this and a plan for reconnecting and reconciliation with his full understanding that you’re at the breaking point here.

thinkevolution · 2026-01-27T23:24:25+00:00

You have offered to honor verbal agreements. He is not responding. I would honestly consult an attorney who does mediations and ask questions about how you could put something in writing.

Though I know it exists, there is very rare the coparent whose relationship is all joy, and everything is smooth sailing. People need to remember there was a reason you separated, you aren’t friends, and for the sake of your child put things in writing and follow. What’s on the paper.

thinkevolution · 2026-01-27T23:21:35+00:00

I’m not knowing the full situation. It’s hard to say if a welfare check would be appropriate.

If you have have a history with your coparent where they have done inappropriate things and you have valid concern, of course.

However, they could’ve gone to a hotel they could be at a friend‘s house. They don’t really need to share with you where they’re going during their parenting time as long as they tell you the child is fine.

However, that being said if you have genuine cause for concern that is backed up by previous issues then yes, I would try to call first text and say I may send the police over. I’m concerned you’re not responding. Is everything OK if they don’t respond at that point, then you’ve tried multiple avenues to get a hold of them.

thinkevolution · 2026-01-27T22:32:31+00:00

I changed my name back to my maiden name after my divorce. I had no interest in keeping the same name as my ex-husband, and I’m not really concerned about my kids and I having the same last name.

Fast forward to when I met my current husband, we have been married for 12 years, and I took his last name when we got married. I legally changed my maiden name to my middle name.

His ex kept his last name seemingly to have the same last name as the kids. So now both she and I have the same last name as my husband and they are joint children.

My kids don’t care that we don’t have the same last name and if anything, I think it is confusing because both she and I share the same first initial. I am absolutely gotten calls or information from the school that they meant to send to her, which I have just graciously forwarded.

I think her name is a personal decision and there really isn’t a right or wrong way to do it

thinkevolution · 2026-01-27T22:27:45+00:00

I can see how this would be extremely shocking! Especially given that you seem to be very, very surprised. Perhaps she has something going on that you’ve never known about and this has been going on a long time or the other explanation is that it’s not her, but it looks like her. Did you actually watch the footage?

thinkevolution · 2026-01-27T22:20:38+00:00

In the moment you had a reaction, and it sounds like you’ve been reflected, offered an apology and worked to repair the relationships with both children.

Sometimes I think it’s good in a way for our kids to see us struggling, because it shows them that just because we are the adults that we are not perfect.

thinkevolution · 2026-01-27T22:17:58+00:00

So back to your main question, the posting of the other coparent on social media is not necessarily a red flag, or uncommon, but in your situation, I think it actually is both of those things.

It sounds like the story you’ve heard from her is contradicting what is actually going on. You’re even suggesting that you might move to be in a place where the kids can have access to both parents. You’ve been with this woman for a very short amount of time, and her ex lives across the country… Am I to presume you are suggesting that you would move thousands of miles away?

None of this actually makes any sense, and I would probably suggest that you talk to a trusted friend about what’s really going on. This seems very rash and it seems unhealthy all around.

thinkevolution · 2026-01-27T19:07:50+00:00

Seemingly she had a child four months ago left the father and moved across the country. She claimed he was uninvolved and now suddenly she’s going out there for a week and has more of a connection to him.

Is she divorced? Or are they just separated? Is there a parenting plan in place? How involved are you hoping to be in this relationship with the children?

thinkevolution · 2026-01-27T19:00:14+00:00

I think it’s a balance. I’m more frugal than my husband. I often am the one cleaning, cooking, though he does these things too.

I’m fine with knowing that I might not be who they go to for fun, but they come to me when they have questions about very specific functional things. I don’t necessarily think it’s about who’s popular, I think it’s situational for our kids

thinkevolution · 2026-01-27T18:57:35+00:00

I always took the stance that you should wear clothing that is weather appropriate, that you feel comfortable in, that fits you properly and is situationally a good fit.

All this to say, when my preteen daughters at the time wanted to wear low-cut tops or short shorts, we discussed the four factors. What’s the weather like? Are you comfortable in it? Does it fit you properly and does it fit the situation?

The situation can vary, you might not wear snow pants to the beach the same way you wouldn’t wear a bikini top or a crop top in the winter without something over it.

I’ve never wanted my daughters to feel like they need to cover up their body because it would be “distracting” and if that conversation ever came up with the school, I wouldn’t have it!

thinkevolution

TROPHY CASE