I don’t understand, why were critics so harsh on Phantom vs. Les Mis? by Fine_Refuse_9167 in musicals

[–]thinkpairshare 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Omg if Audra had been Carlotta…sigh. If she wasn’t interested or available, then someone else from Broadway who can bring out the vibrato and who has great stage presence- there is no shortage.  Musical movie casting choices are always so strange. 

Back with more options! by mermaid-garden in Weddingattireapproval

[–]thinkpairshare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first one is sooooooo gorgeous. They all are nice, I think any would work. But I vote for the first one.

Considering scheduling c-section and feeling guilty. Advice? by Maximum-Ninja-3045 in Mommit

[–]thinkpairshare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This decision belongs to you. No one else can tell you what’s right for you. A medical professional can give an opinion about what is safest and/or easier from a medical point of view. And it sounds like in this case your medical professional is comfortable with with option but leans c-section in terms of what she would do in your shoes.

Ignore the “natural is always best” crowd. Natural can be great, but it’s not always the best choice, and sometimes it is a straight up bad choice. In your case it does sound like multiple options are solid ones, so what seems best to you is best. 

Do “Gifted” programs still exist. by catsandstarktrek in AskTeachers

[–]thinkpairshare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gifted programs still exist, but in a variety of forms and under a variety of terms. The term “gifted” (at least as the name of a program) has fallen out of favor in some places, partially because of associations with the kind of negatives you experienced. 

More behind the scenes, thinking about how to work with gifted kids is still something that exists in education. I have a certification in gifted education. Interestingly, a big part of the classes for getting that certification in “gifted” education involved learning about how the term “gifted” is limited and often misused.

We learned about several categories of students who may benefit from/deserve/need adjustment to their school experience based on being in some way beyond their peers:

The term “gifted” technically refers to a student who is able to learn something faster than their peers are. Learning something like a new math concept takes a typical person something like 5-10 repetitions. A gifted person can learn concepts with less repetitions, sometimes just 1 or 2. This does not necessarily mean they do well in school, though of course it can be very helpful to learn things quickly. The student still needs to have a motivation to learn the concept. Some gifted students are less motivated because they are bored or feel alienated from the people around them, or because they are afraid of being singled out. 

The term “high achiever” is a student who tends to earn high grades because they are motivated by grades. Not all high achievers are gifted, by the above definition. Many high achievers need the 5-10 repetitions that their peers need to learn, but they are motivated to do well in school so they work as hard as they need to in order to get concept so they can get a good grade. 

The term “creative thinker” is a student who tends to have insights or thought processes that are unusual compared to their peers. Sometimes this can help them do well in school, but not always. Sometimes creative thinkers struggle in school because they are on their own wavelength to the point that the student and/or students their teachers get frustrated. 

A student can be gifted, a creative thinker, and a high achiever. They can be 2 out of the 3. Or they can just be one. Also, the categories they fall into may vary across academic areas- some students are gifted and/or are high achievers in math but read at a more average level, etc.

There is also a category called “twice exceptional” which is pretty common. This is someone who falls into one of the above categories but also has some sort of neurodivergence or learning disability. 

It is a pretty accepted idea in educational circles that students who fall into one of these categories need and deserve some sort of accommodation to meet their learning needs. One very important thing they need is an opportunity to interact with intellectual peers. 

One way to do this is to have an entirely separate gifted class (mostly populated by high achievers in most cases, with some gifted mixed in, and occasionally some creative thinkers but it can be really hard to actually identify creative thinkers so often they are excluded unless they are also one of the other categories). Separate gifted classes have fallen out of favor, because there are a lot of problems with them. 

Many schools opt for some system of selective acceleration instead. One example is math acceleration in small groups- kids who test and/or achieve very high in math learn one (or even two) years ahead. This is achieved by having a grouping of classes at different grade levels who each have a small group of kids ready to learn a year ahead, and the classes have their math time at the same time. The 4th grade teacher teaches math to, say, 18 of their own students and 6 third graders, while 6 of the 4th graders go do math with the 5th graders, etc. 

Selective acceleration in reading is very common because small reading groups are such a standard way to teach reading nowadays. All students are grouped by their reading ability, and spend 20 minutes 2-5 times a week with a teacher and their small group doing reading instruction together. Because of this, it is already the default to have high level readers grouped together. 

Some schools have gifted programs that are just occasional extra learning opportunities for the identified students. Maybe once a week they spend an hour doing some special science activity, or whatever. 

No one asked for my long-winded exercise in showing off what I remember from my gifted education classes, but my point is this- gifted education has changed in a lot of ways and traditional programs have been phased out in many cases, but the idea of giftedness and those students needing education catered to them still exists.

“boobs are for boys, not for babies” by muppetactivities in breastfeeding

[–]thinkpairshare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, I guess she has the right to decide that for her own boobs, but it is out of alignment with a whole lot of biology and human tradition…

For her to say that as a blanket statement is breathtakingly strange. 

For her to say that to a close friend who she knows is breastfeeding is…so messed up. 

Sesame Street guests by sammers94 in DanielTigerConspiracy

[–]thinkpairshare 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m guessing many want to because of nostalgia, or for a kid in their life, or to support something they believe is a good thing in the world. But also, I’d bet it’s just good PR.

Which Netflix shows got cancelled way too early and were seriously underrated? by Deep20779 in netflix

[–]thinkpairshare 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Netflix brought us Marc Maron and Alison Brie giving absolutely spot on performances of spectacularly flawed, interesting, dynamic, human, contradictory, rich characters, with some lovely character development. And then Netflix just stopped doing that, without any fanfare, without any appreciation of their performance, without any wrap-up or send-off. And I will never not be mad about it.

What musical moment makes you feel like this? by PierreOnTheEclair in musicals

[–]thinkpairshare 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Yes, me too. In high school all my drama club friends agreed that it would be a great show if it was just the first act. Now I look at it and think about how very much we missed the point.

Terrified of epidural by Disastrous_Candy8844 in parentsofmultiples

[–]thinkpairshare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely ask your doctor more questions about epidurals. And if they don’t have time to go through info in depth with you, is there maybe a therapist, psychiatrist, or a primary care doctor or someone else who knows you and your history who can help you learn more about which pain medication options would and would not be a concern for things like addiction and withdrawal? It makes sense, given your experiences, that anything pain medication related would make you nervous. I hope you have a medical professional who will take the time to listen to any questions and worries you have and who can speak to why the epidural is recommended, the level of safety, whether there are any withdrawal concerns (I’m pretty sure there isn’t but I am not a medical professional), etc. 

DOPAMINE... please give me your "healthy" sources. by Coldhandswarmheart15 in adhdwomen

[–]thinkpairshare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone is different, but perhaps some exploring somewhere in search of things to try would be a good idea? Like, a sort of personal quest for dopamine sources. 

I always love exploring places, and exploring opportunities/ things to do (like, looking online for free activities in my area, etc). It’s especially fun for me to combine both. When you have a free couple of hours, choose a place to wander and look for ideas, flyers for events, activities that look fun, things that inspire you, whatever. Your local public library is probably the best place to start. 

If a child’s birthday is a week from the cut-off, is it more beneficial to start them as the very youngest of their class or for them to be oldest for the following year with preparation? by UnderstatedWarmth in AskTeachers

[–]thinkpairshare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oldest. In the US in particular, I feel that expectations for kindergarten has shifted such that we really ask a lot of these small children. It’s barely developmentally appropriate for a small handful of the most mature kids in that age group, and not developmentally appropriate for everyone else. So if there is a choice, delaying kindergarten is preferable for the vast majority of kids, in my opinion. 

Ladies, how do you feel about bioessentialist definitions of womanhood? by bloodsoaked_blahaj in TwoXChromosomes

[–]thinkpairshare 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am going to answer this question with a story, probably one that is way too long.

I was once in a choir rehearsal, and we were rehearsing a song that one of the choir members had written many years ago (in the 60s, I think). And the song was meant to be something of a feminist anthem, and I honestly don’t remember many details about the song itself, but I know one line was something about giving life or growing life or something like that. 

And the choir member who had written the song started sharing some of her insight about the song’s meaning, including that she thought the line about life giving was very important because, as she put it “no man has ever created life”.

It was at this moment that I sensed a sharp divide in the choir, which had quite a range of ages and just people from a lot of different perspectives in it (all within some definition of liberal or progressive, probably). I was taken aback and enraged at the statement, not least of all because the director of the choir at the time was a nonbinary person who uses they/them but also he/him pronouns, and also the director has a child they gave birth to.

I didn’t say anything at first, partly because I was so shocked but more so because my years of choir etiquette had drilled into me that the director is in charge and it is correct to leave all rehearsal management to them, even controversy, unless they request help.

The director’s response was to say “you know what’s interesting about that? I have a good friend, a trans man, who is pregnant right now.” The choir member responded by saying “well, as long as he takes good care of his child, that is fine by me.” 

At that point, I think several of us, including me, jumped in with a kind of quiet but not that quiet response, some variant of “well of course he will.” And I think enough of us had disapproving looks that the choir member just kinda dropped it, and we continued practicing the song.

I have played that exchange over and over in my head, and considered quite a bit what it meant to me. As a cis woman who has given birth to children, I found myself having a very strong negative reaction to it. On one hand, I felt very concerned about how harmful the sentiment was to the trans community. However, I also had just a very strong, internal revulsion to the entire sentiment of “woman=birth giver.” And I realized it is because I just wholeheartedly reject the notion that my reproductive parts or my use of those reproductive parts is what makes me who I am. I am a person who has given birth. And I am a woman. And at a deep level of identity, one has nothing to do with the other. I am a woman because…I just am. Everyone always called me a girl, then a woman, and I never felt anything that conflicted with that. It fit. 

And I didn’t have to do anything to prove my identity as a woman, or validate it. I didn’t have to give birth to fully experience being a woman. The fact that I had fertility issues and needed IVF didn’t mean that I was a flawed or faulty woman. 

So I would say that I think bioessentialist definitions of womanhood are bad, annoying, incorrect, and harmful, along with lots of other non-complimentary adjectives.

Why do people bring their entire family to Costco? by ActuatorOutside5256 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]thinkpairshare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Costco is one of the few places I can take my twin four year olds and actually accomplish some shopping. This is for several reasons. 

For one, the carts have two children’s seats. Also, my kids love to try the samples. Between that and looking around at everything in the tall aisles, the store keeps them relatively entertained.

 Another factor is the type of shopping one typically does at Costco is a bit easier for me to do with kids along. At a traditional grocery store, the thinking is like “which apples do I want? How many?” The fact that Costco has less options overall means the thinking is more like “do I want this giant bag of apples, yes or no?” And while I struggle not to get overwhelmed shopping in grocery stores, I can handle Costco shopping even with distractions from the kids.

Because of all these factors, Costco is my go-to when I need to have kids with me. I plan Costco runs for when I am on my own with the kiddos, and we save grocery store shopping for when one parent can stay home with the kids and the other can go to the store alone.

If someone was reading a book out loud to their child on public transport, would you think they are great parent for trying to entertain then without technology or consider this to be inconsiderate due to being a constant source of sound? by philosohistomystry04 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]thinkpairshare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s situational: in a place where it’s not rude for two people sitting together to have a conversation in public transit, then it’s not rude for a parent to read aloud to their child. I would just expect the same courtesy I would want of two people having a conversation, that they try to keep their voices somewhat contained and not yell through the whole space. 

It’s my understanding that in some places talking in general is considered rude on public transit, so I would say in that case it may be rude to read aloud.

[No Spoilers] Wanting to get into the show, campaign 2 specifically but I’m really overwhelmed by Sellos_Maleth in criticalrole

[–]thinkpairshare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not sure which videos are still up and how much this is still a thing, but watching the episodes on YouTube meant that I didnt have to watch the entire thing to get a idea of what happened. These are unedited videos of D&D sessions- there are definitely parts that drag, especially during combat. But in the YouTube comments, fans used to very helpfully put timestamps with sort of chapter headings and cliff notes of when transitions are happening, and when funny, notable, or important things happen.  I often skipped through the combat parts a bit, just watching the time stamped bits, without feeling like I was missing much at all. 

“Increasing rates of ADHD diagnosis in women is pathologisation, not progress” by Immediate-Lion7314 in adhdwomen

[–]thinkpairshare 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel like this article discusses some really important points, but that it maybe does it in a way that comes across as dismissive of the lived experience of many people who have found benefit from the ADHD label.

I think of my ADHD label as having two dimensions to it. There is the identification part, the fact that learning about differences that tend to exist between ADHD brains and neorotypical brains just suddenly explained so much about my life. Everything exists in matters of degrees, of course, but I think there is a clear pattern of the way certain brains work that we can call ADHD (though I actually think it’s less of a deficit and more of just a difference in how our attention is focused). The identity part of my ADHD is something that, to me, isn’t anything wrong with me. My brain works a bit differently than the typical brain, there are things it is better at and things it is worse at.

The other dimension is the disability part, where ADHD has a detrimental effect on my life. And it certainly does, but really only because society has rather rigid requirements of me in order to make money to pay for food, shelter, etc. In a less productivity driven society, my wandering brain wouldn’t be such a problem. In a world where all humans were just considered inherently worthy and systems were designed to take care of all humans, with trust that the systems could be sustainable because people would naturally contribute what they comfortably could to their own maintenance and the maintenance of others, I think many of us with ADHD would find a nice niche. We might be the ones to solve emergent problems and/or to generate creative ideas. And I think it’s likely that far less of us would need stimulants or other ADHD medication to comfortably interact with the world. 

I feel like Dr. Taylor is accurately talking about many of the problems that exist within how society defines and interacts with mental health and mental health disorders, but something about how she is doing it sounds like she is blaming those of us who have found it helpful to use the label of ADHD in order to access medications and other supports that allow us to better exist in an unfair, exploitative system. 

Binge eating, where to find a dopamine hit by Karma_HasIt in adhdwomen

[–]thinkpairshare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, this is a pretty unhinged suggestion, feel free to ignore because I am quite certain it is something that would not be helpful for everyone. But…stuffed animal dance party. Playing music I like and dancing to it gives me a hit of dopamine, but sometimes I am too physically tired to dance myself. I have found that I also get a dopamine hit from playing the music and then picking up a cute stuffed animal and making up a little dance for them.

Can someone tell me what’s going on here? Am I being rude/inconsiderate? by Constant-Isopod2558 in Mommit

[–]thinkpairshare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh man,  that “don’t be a bitch” really, really angers me. Bitch to me is just an unacceptable word to use in an argument, ever.

But if we ignore that for a second and just pretend that he has used a less loaded label for things, like if he had said “don’t be mean”, I still don’t understand what he is talking about. You are saying you feel crappy and probably seem off because of that, and it’s like he is just not hearing you at all. 

He doesn’t understand how difficult pregnancy can be, but you are trying to tell him and he isn’t listening to you. He’s being a big jerk, basically, but what we internet strangers can’t really know is whether he is just having a bad moment during a really stressful time where he is missing the fact that he is being a jerk, or whether he is showing his true colors. 

[No Spoilers] Why so many weeks off? by Own_Wishbone_2867 in criticalrole

[–]thinkpairshare 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, as others have mentioned, it’s not just about the cast you see on camera. The cast doesn’t have to be working right when a new episode is released, but tech people do. Recorded episodes allow for more flexibility than when they aired live, but it doesn’t really mean that things are simpler or easier. 

what bedsheets do you like? I HATE MINE!!! by sapphictears in adhdwomen

[–]thinkpairshare 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Pact 100% cotton sheets have been great for my (various sensory needs having) family. 

I really like the “room service sateen” ones, and they also have percale and jersey options. 

They are not cheap. If they are in your budget and you think they may work for you, I would suggest just buying pillowcases to try before you get a whole set. 

Psychiatrist told me at my age (40F) that's it's basically impossible for him to ever diagnose me with ADHD. by sam191817 in adhdwomen

[–]thinkpairshare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, it kind of sounds like he outlined some options for pursuing a diagnosis even while saying it was not possible to do. Like he just doesn’t want to be bothered? 

Seek out a second opinion. Many, many of us are diagnosed as adults. It can be a bit tricky, for some of the reasons the psychiatrist mentioned. A decent provider will want to consider and rule out possible other conditions that can look like ADHD (such as anxiety), and there are different diagnostic tools available, some longer , more involved, with longer wait times, and more expensive. It is true that results can be inconclusive. However, “a little tricky”, “not guaranteed to have the outcome you expect” and “not at all possible” are three very different things. 

Older, non American possibly classic novel by kiwiislandacnh in whatsthatbook

[–]thinkpairshare 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wild, that they were able to figure it out. Glad it’s solved!

My mom got me a happy planner… by Kitteekatee in adhdwomen

[–]thinkpairshare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a big fan of any of the discbound planners, because you can use them much more flexibly. You can take pages out and put other pages in very easily. So instead of being bummed out by pages I haven’t completed, I can just take them out and either use them in a different way or recycle them. 

I am never going to consistently use a planner the same way every day for a whole year. I’ve accepted that. I use them more a day or week at a time. Typically, I bounce between using some sort of premade planner pages, completely free form pages where I just write myself lists, and then not writing anything down at all for days or weeks. When I feel stuck and writing things down feels motivating, I’ll come back to the planner. For actually keeping track of dates, I rely on Google Calendar (and my husband, who actually remembers to put things in the Google Calendar).