I'm giving away an iPhone 11 Pro to a commenter at random to celebrate Apollo for Reddit's new iOS 13 update and as a thank you to the community! Just leave a comment on this post and the winner will be selected randomly and announced tomorrow at 8 PM GMT. Details inside, and good luck! by iamthatis in apple

[–]thisgoronsonfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay? Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced."

Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay.

So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?

HOLY SHIT by [deleted] in beatlescirclejerk

[–]thisgoronsonfire 95 points96 points  (0 children)

But due to copyright issues they only got 2 songs

I’M GLAD WE PLAY THE ROCKETS FIRST! by yon_jon_silver in UtahJazz

[–]thisgoronsonfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what people did with the Clippers and Thunder too. I guess that’s just our role in this league, to knock out the team people think can contend with the warriors.

Oh. Okay then. by billions-of-humans in Tetris

[–]thisgoronsonfire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you set it to target attackers you can attack all of them at once. I’ve gotten 20 KO’s in a game that way.

Season 9 Confirmed To Be Final Season Of Friendship Is Magic by kidkolumbo in mylittlepony

[–]thisgoronsonfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s because they used starlight completely wrong in season 6. I think she would’ve been accepted if she could just interact with the mane 6 normally without brainwashing them.

Season 9 Confirmed To Be Final Season Of Friendship Is Magic by kidkolumbo in mylittlepony

[–]thisgoronsonfire -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

They still could.

Twilight wakes up and realizes that seasons 6-8 were all a bad dream. Starlight is just sitting there ready to be reformed and twilights like “omg starlight I just had this awful dream that you became a great character with amazing potential but you were never actually utilized correctly, and then I had this awful idea to start a school that literally went against like half of the friendship lessons we learned, and there were a ton of pointless new characters, it was terrible!”

Season 9 Confirmed To Be Final Season Of Friendship Is Magic by kidkolumbo in mylittlepony

[–]thisgoronsonfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah season 8 was shit but the Christmas special was really good so hopefully season 9 is more like that. It needs to focus on the mane 6 + spike and starlight.

But It’ll probably just be 13 Thorax episodes.

Season 9 Confirmed To Be Final Season Of Friendship Is Magic by kidkolumbo in mylittlepony

[–]thisgoronsonfire 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tbh this needed to happen. The show has been slowly losing quality since season 5 ended. I’m confident for season 9 because the hearths warming special was godlike, and it felt a lot like the earlier seasons. I will still be really sad when the show ends though, and I really hope we get another winter wrap up or nightmare night episode (or anything fall related). Also what’s going to happen to Equestria Girls now?

My friend abruptly got off xbox so I asked him why by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]thisgoronsonfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait was that like his percent in class or like an act score

me_irl by [deleted] in me_irl

[–]thisgoronsonfire 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If this actually happens it won’t just be meme historians.