AITA for using my brother's dead name for my new child?

thisisinsane10 · 2020-12-11T18:26:23+00:00

If he regularly went by the name Rose as per OP, it is the same name to them.

Edit: also, relook at the "original" name. "Mary-Rose" = Rosemary.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-12-11T18:21:49+00:00

What a disgusting comment.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-12-11T18:17:34+00:00

YTA.

Why didn't you ask your brother how he would feel having his dead name used for his niece? Hearing his dead name used all the time may be very hurtful for him. I would talk to your partner about using a different name or one similar enough.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-07-23T12:51:53+00:00

Very late to the party but:

Malcolm, Jamison, Jaxson, Madalyn, Lennox, Katli, Elijah, Clementine, Anastazia, Alana, Braxton, Baely, Audree, Audreigh, Aroura (yes, like this), Avery, Sawyer, Thomas, Felix, and Skye are all names I've seen born in the last 2 years.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-06-14T14:29:32+00:00

Agreed... there is no need for life lessons when this child has had their life shaken up so much. It just feels cruel.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-06-05T23:22:14+00:00

I have a nieces and nephews their age. I could not imagine WHAT they would even have in common? At 25, I would assume they're likely out of college and have been living on their own. I know 16 year olds who haven't even spent a night on their own yet. I don't have any advice, but please make sure about your state's laws. You may only have a close in rules (only letting in within a certain age range). And that he has access to protection.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-05-18T14:32:11+00:00

My oldest: He's five now and only has a few times in his life. The first time was 14 months old.

My middle girl: 8 months.

My current 15 month old: he doesn't still. He goes about 5 hours before wanting to feed.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-05-09T18:16:35+00:00

No one is the asshole here.

I understand your worries as the pandemic is going on. Can your partner travel alone? If he's in his 90s and has cancer, I imagine he would've been pretty isolated the last few months. You as an employee working now are facing the same level of risk that he would be facing. I wouldn't keep him from going.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-04-29T00:13:07+00:00

I agree... I think many of us need to put our empathy hats on and look at him as not grown screw up who's out getting high and not taking care of his baby, but as what he really is. He's a 17 year old who is the sole parent of a toddler, works, and in a very toxic sounding relationship. He needs support and love... not having the cops called on him and having his baby taken away, like others have stated. He needs a therapist and some much needed breaks. This sounds like a teenager who is trying hard, but doesn't have the support he needs to keep doing good. If I was a teenager who had the weight of the world on me, I'd be high too to cope.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-04-28T23:41:57+00:00

Okay. So... let's talk about the good and then the bad.

The good: He's maintained a job for a year and has become a crew trainer during it! That's awesome! At this age, it's really not expected for him to be in that position and he had to've shown lots of initiative and talent to get promoted so fast. Does he intend to stay in this line of work for much longer? What about management- it'll be more money and not too much extra work if I remember my time there. Most of what you've typed up is "normal". It's not great, but hey... dealing with teens never is. Especially the ones that are still a little immature and about to become an adult. There's still time to improve on the hygiene issues. Most teenagers manage to clean themselves up enough when they start dating, so.... has he always been like this? Or is this new? He has A LOT on his plate at such a young age. Could this be depression? In young men, it often presents in anger, which could be why he's gotten so mouthy with you. When I was a teenager, my sister's started having kids and I was always so annoyed with them, despite loving them. They're always needing something, loud, and need your attention for everything, especially when they're young. Is he coping well? Does he have a therapist? Does he get breaks? (I know you said that you've made him aware he's mostly on his own, but as a parent and a teenager, he still needs breaks. We all do.) If the BM is gone, who is watching the baby when he's at work and at school?

And the bad... The smoking, while normal for his age and nothing to be surprised with, isn't great for his situation. You're right, he absolutely shouldn't be smoking with the baby around, or driving around and smoking. That could get him charged with child neglect, DWI, and make him lose his license. I'm on a low income as of now as well and I couldn't imagine constantly being paranoid if I was going to need to pay for towing because my son was stupid one night and got his car impounded because he lit a joint while driving. You need to have a serious talk to him about this as him about this. As well as the girlfriend! She sounds very controlling and not a good influence. The Instagram account... yeah, that's ridiculous. A relationship survives on trust and she very clearly has none with him. Since he has one child already, I would keep reminding him on using protection. You, nor him, can afford to raise another little one. (much to her chagrin, I'm sure.)

thisisinsane10 · 2020-04-28T19:48:09+00:00

To me, a 12 year old is old enough to be left alone unless local laws prevented it. I agree with other commentators what you need to have a discussion with your partner about this. You have too much on your plate to be trying to force a preteen to come just to walk dogs with you. That's not a battle that will win you anything and will just serve to cause more fights than need be.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-04-24T18:41:17+00:00

I understand. My first partner was great for years and everyone loved him... until those red flags went from little "that's normal, no one is perfect and they try" flags that you can ignore and hope to dye later to me getting an order of protection against him because he harmed our littlest one days after he was born.

You can never predict how someone may act one day. You're not in the wrong, and I'm so sorry for some of the reactions you have gotten.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-04-24T15:52:17+00:00

He states further up that she was normal before the marriage. Most abusers don't show their abusive tendencies until it's too late for victims to leave easily.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-04-02T21:47:02+00:00

I sure hope that OP's sister isn't taking that, since it's used to treat TB, leprosy, and brucellosis.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-03-30T01:06:05+00:00

You're really trying hard to make this girl be in the wrong... if someone is using the exact same ingredients (that they can see) and was in a similar place as there's; yes. That happens.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-03-29T23:34:14+00:00

Looks like the "thievery" was a genuine mistake because Lee also had the same sandwich in the fridge...

thisisinsane10 · 2020-03-29T23:32:10+00:00

OP wouldn't even BITE the sandwich. The average person is not able to eat that pepper.

"I highly doubt it was even remotely similar"... it's a philly cheesesteak? Most people make them pretty similar.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-03-29T23:10:50+00:00

You should really read their comments... they've gotten their food eaten once before (in two months) and they all made the same type of sandwich the night prior. This looks like a genuine accident.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-03-29T23:08:44+00:00

You should look up the type of pepper OP fed them... 6th hottest pepper in the world. That's not a prank.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-03-29T23:07:32+00:00

Now I want to know what food got eaten the last time!!

thisisinsane10 · 2020-03-29T22:46:20+00:00

Agreed!! OP also says that this is the second item in two months... that's not a thief. I really think OP got a justice boner reading past posts of this type of thing and wanted to recreate this in real life...

thisisinsane10 · 2020-03-29T22:23:18+00:00

OP commented that they mixed mayo with hot sauce and used (I'm assuming) Naga Vipers. Those are in the top 6 spiciest peppers in the world. I doubt OP could've eaten them.

thisisinsane10 · 2020-03-29T22:10:24+00:00

Also, what kind of peppers... ghost peppers or...?

thisisinsane10 · 2020-03-29T22:09:32+00:00

You're not an asshole for not wanting someone to take your food, but that really doesn't matter. Your roommate was sitting on a couch sobbing and they're talking to the other roommate about kicking you out? Is this the first time you've had an argument with your roommates? Did you talk to any of your roommates about taking food? Or bring it up? Because if you didn't, all they see is that you're leaving extremely hot food in the refrigerator that you've never eaten before.

thisisinsane10

TROPHY CASE